Election (1999)

According to reviews I read after the fact…

Election isn’t your typical high school movie.

Apparently it was designed to be a satire of our political system… a message I didn’t expect and didn’t personally get out of it. Except for maybe the end when the protagonist is seen with a senator in Washington D.C.
Clearly a reference to Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton with the only difference being that it was a Republican senator instead of a Democratic president.
I kinda want to joke Alexander Payne outed himself as a Democrat… except 99% of Hollywood is so it’s not that surprising.


Speaking of Alexander Payne…

This is my 4th Alexander Payne movie and I didn’t fully realize until now that satire is his thing.
I mean, Sideways was a commentary on the snotty business of wine tasting in Napa Valley… at least I think it was. The R-rating being capped off with a scene involving full frontal nudity wiped out every other memory of that movie except for “no effing Merlot!”
And The Holdovers (which I will review later this year!) was a critique of private schools favoring deep pocketed donors over making sure the students actually pass their classes.
The Descendants is the movie where I first learned the name of this writer/director because it was up for a ton of awards. I hadn’t seen it in years so I don’t know if it’s a satire or not. But I’d love to see it again, especially since we saw some of its locations (and ate at one) in Kauai last year.


What is it with high school movies…

…not actually being about high school.

I don’t know how long I’ve had this pet peeve but it’s gotten more prevalent in recent years.
Of all the high school movies out there, how many actually have to do with school? Being in class, taking exams… that sort of stuff. The typical formula is that high school movies focus mostly on extracurricular activities or having fun outside of the classroom. If there’s any classroom footage, it’s usually just one class with one specific teacher.
The only exception to this is those “beloved teachers” movies I love so much. Because they have to show off why they’re beloved and it’s about what they do in the classroom. Or going above and beyond for certain students outside normal hours- Mr Holland’s Opus is probably the best example. He was teaching stuff outside the classroom but at least he was teaching.

The easy answer to this is that classrooms are dull and boring and it’s not something people want to go back to in a movie. All the fun and excitement (and character development) happens outside the classroom.
And maybe that’s just me being selfish and wanting to see my high school experience reflected in a movie. When I wasn’t in class stressing about grades, I was in performing arts stuff as a background person or an audience member. And I did 2 dances with concert choir and senior prom.
I never spent time with anyone outside school because I had no close friends. And the one person I did want to hang out with (cuz I had a crush on him), he always had some other activity he was doing. Being involved in community service or whatever else…


Further impressions

I came into “Election” with the following impressions. Reese Witherspoon (Tracy Flick) and Matthew Broderick (Mr. McAllister) are in it. He plays a teacher that, for some reason, does not want her to win said election.

I’ve seen a bunch of their movies and they’re both very likable people. So I figured it’d be a win-win.
…in the movie, both wound up playing very UN-likable people. Yet I still wanted them to succeed for some reason. Maybe that old loyalty was hard to overcome. I might have also felt different if these roles were played by people I didn’t know or already found unlikable.

And before I get ahead of myself and forget… this wasn’t a good movie. I’d even add that it would be classified as one of those “movies that did not age well”.
At the same time, it’s morally ambiguous and offers some interesting talking points for discussion. Hence me writing this post…

Speaking of morals, the movie opens with a question in class (one of maybe 2 scenes that actually involve classroom stuff) that’s never properly answered. Although the movie pretty much goes to show neither of these characters have morals or ethics. If they did, this was thrown out the window by the end of the movie.

The question was- what’s the difference between morals and ethics?

Morals are an individual’s sense of right and wrong while ethics is what a body of government or a board of trustees determines to be right and wrong as they oversee a group of people ranking beneath them.
Thought I’d Google this in case anyone else didn’t know. Or they were equally as annoyed as I was that they never answered the question.
As soon as Tracy was allowed to give her answer, the bell rang.

One thing about this movie I found kinda jarring and lamenting “well that was a choice…”
All the main characters have inner monologue, which is fine. But it’s annoying to have the movie completely stop while someone narrates. And it freezes their faces in often unflattering ways. I get that that’s meant to make a point but to have it happen so many times where the movie just stops… not a fan.

So I came into this movie with one question- why doesn’t Mr. McAllister want Tracy to win the election?
Just based off that first scene- yeah, she’s a Hermione Granger know-it-all. Why let her succeed, right?

Then we find out his reasoning… and it was the last thing I ever would have expected because I never expect students fooling around with their teachers.
She got his work friend fired because they "fell in love". It seemed like it was mutual until her mom found out and she lodged a formal complaint.

(This actor looked kinda familiar and it wasn't until I looked him up I realized why... he played Caltech Dean Dr. Gablehauser in "The Big Bang Theory")

Now he wants to sabotage her because he doesn’t want the same thing to happen to him… i.e. she comes onto him because he's the teacher overseeing the student council.
But the more you watch, it becomes clear he’s afraid HE will develop feelings for her and it’ll ruin his life like he did his friend.

Call it what you want- it’s gross and inappropriate. One review I read nailed it by saying pedophilia should never be done for laughs, consenual or not.
This movie was R rated for adult content and language. No nudity but definitely sex. One scene is him and his wife and he winds up fantasizing his friend’s ex-wife and Tracy talking dirty to him in her place.
At least that was the intent. I wouldn’t know anything about this since I have literally no experience… but none of this talking dirty comes off as sexy.

The first manner of sabotage is finding someone to run against her because nobody else is. And he picks a dumb jock who recently broke his leg… the guy is clueless but he was very likable and easygoing.
It gets even more interesting when his sister joins the race, mostly to get back at him for stealing her girlfriend. A rare inclusion of a gay/lesbian character in a 90's movie. The only other one I'm aware of is Christian in "Clueless". Of course this is way more common in media nowadays.
Tammy was your typical unapologetic angry teenager but she’s still pretty cool. At her campaign speech, she said stuff like “vote for me or don’t” and how she’ll abolish the student government if elected so they won’t have to sit through any more of these “stupid assemblies again”.

I’d expected this movie to be a little more like Mean Girls where Tracy is the queen bee asserting her dominance in why she should win. 
She’s not even popular, which the question of how she thinks she'll get the votes if she doesn't regularly hang out with people. Her whole thing is being involved in everything to put together the perfect resume. Not necessarily because she enjoys what she does. But the downside is no time for friends. A fact she’s a little sad about but it’s not enough to make her change her trajectory.

Part of me did decide to see this movie because the premise sounded like good research for something I’m working.
I’m making an old project a little more high school oriented (with actual classroom content) and one of the ideas I was kicking around was student council.
This movie didn’t exactly give me the inspiration I wanted but I didn’t mind too much. It’s kinda refreshing that Tracy Flick wasn’t a queen bee type of character or the world’s biggest nerd or do-gooder. She’s ambitious for the sake of it. Maybe not the most likable thing a person can be but at least it’s something that speaks to her and motivates her. And maybe the fact she didn’t have friends was something that spoke to me.
I graduated high school 20 years ago this year… and now that I’m thinking about it, I literally have no idea who was on our student council and what they actually did.

Oddly for a high school movie, there's very little student-to-student interaction. In fact, it's more about Mr. McAllister's feeable attempts to undermine her campaign as well as contemplating an affair with his friend's ex-wife. All of this culminates in a bit of clever foreshadowing... a far-off shot of bees flying around a fruit tree in her background. I asked myself  "ok, what's that all about?" Let's just say he deserved what he got.

The results of the actual election… well, what fun would that be if I gave that away? 

Another kind of nice thing about this movie was that we got an epilogue. Just in case some people watching were left wondering what became of these characters.
It wasn’t the best movie but I liked how they did it. And everyone pretty much got what they wanted in the end.
I wish more movies did this because I often find myself wanting to see what happens after the story ends or at least get a glimpse into the future of these characters.

One final thing- the janitor is like the cook from “hunt for red October”… trust me, it’ll make sense later.

The most interesting part of this whole experience... I kinda knew going in this movie wasn't going to be good. But I think that freed me up to enjoy it for what it was. 

Theatrical Review: Deadpool and Wolverine

Date: Sunday, August 4 2024
Time: 11:10am 

Party: 2 (my mom and I)
Duration: 127 minutes (plus 26 minutes of trailers)

Review:

Straight up, this might not be the best written movie ever but it was really fun and entertaining. And for me, that’s what a Deadpool movie should be. Not like the previous one where people died or he almost died a bunch of times…
But for a movie experience, this is definitely a good one to see in theaters. Especially with a good audience. The laughs that came out of the back of the room were infectious.
Another funny tidbit- we saw the same employee in three different capacities while we were there. He sold us our tickets, directed us to the right theater (at the little booth where they used to take our ticket stubs- I wonder why they don’t do that anymore), and he was waiting by the janitor’s cart as the end credits rolled. He had a fun personality that also kinda made me wonder “this dude doesn’t get out much, huh?” Reminded me a bit of our Hawaiian tour guide Leroy that we had on two separate tours (two sides of the same island over 2 days). Maybe “Leroy” will be our namesake for anyone we see more than once working at the same establishment, lol

Out of respect, this will be a spoiler free review. All I will say about the cameos is that there were half a dozen I recognized as a causal fan and probably dozens more I didn’t. The only conceivable one that was missing was Green Lantern but that’s DC and I don’t think the universe could handle that cinematic crossover even if they got the rights to it.
Two of them I will mention were members of the Reynolds family.
When I saw Inez Reynolds in the credits, the Swiftie in me couldn’t help getting excited, just because she was a namesake from Taylor’s Folklore love triangle alongside James and Betty. There’s also a point where Deadpool whispers to Wolverine “til your dying day” that may or may not be a reference to a lyric from “my tears ricochet”. His wife Blake Lively also has a movie coming out where a different version of that song is played in the trailer.

The movie begins with Wade Wilson having hung up his costume and having a normal job. Because apparently something happened between him and Vanessa and he’s searching for new meaning in his life.
One of his ill advised attempts to find one is interviewing to be an Avenger… the only problem is he didn’t get the memo about what that means. It’s not a club you can just join because YOU need it, you join because the world needs you.

The plot of the movie, essentially, is him being recruited by Mr. Paradox to work for his organization. Apparently due to his time traveling escapades in the previous movie, he might be of use to them. However his reality is decaying because it lost its anchor being… Wolverine (referring to the movie Logan where he dies at the end). And he needs to get another Wolverine from somewhere in the multiverse to set everything right.
One montage later, he not only brings back the worst incarnation of Wolverine but Paradox says his reality is doomed anyway and he can’t fix anything. Then when the two of them refuse to go along with the organization, they get sent to the garbage heap where they’re destined to die.

Yeah- it’s pretty damn confusing and hard to follow. So the big attraction is the characters and the jokes. Half of which are various vulgarities (more on this later) and half are self-aware zingers.
I’ve commented the last few years how too many movies are doing this so-called Meta humor. Deadpool gets away with this because that’s their thing. Where I have a problem is with movies like Frozen 2 where these self aware references spat in the face of what made the first movie so good. The movie had a lot of problems but Elsa being embarrassed of a “let it go” reference- the best part of that movie- that ruined the whole movie for me. The whole 3rd act was a big letdown.


Back to Deadpool-
This movie is a mix of multiverse madness (I never did see that Doctor Strange movie…) and Mad Max. With maybe a dash of Planes, Trains and Automobiles. Cuz Deadpool and Wolverine do not get along and spend a chunk of the movie trying to kill each other- a tricky feat considering their super powers both involve regeneration so neither can die. And their main vehicle is a Honda Odyssey- which is hilarious cuz Wade was working for a CarMax knockoff and pretty much called the Honda a crap car. Considering the brutal landscape, it handles it pretty well.

We also get the plot twist of Paradox being a member of the organization that’s gone rouge. I know some other movie did this but I couldn’t remember what. Later i remembered it was Die Hard. You know someone’s bad when even their organization thinks they’re too extreme.
Matthew McFayden plays the character and I spent so much time trying to figure out where I’d seen him cuz he looked so familiar… none of the roles I saw him in left a big impression. But he also looks a lot like a bunch of other people- like a combo of the butler from trading places and Richard armitage from the hobbit movies.
We find out much later that this movie has a far greater villain than him and we meet them in the Mad Max inspired void. And let's just say she has an interesting connection to the X-Men. 

The few headlines I’d read about this movie prior to seeing it alluded to its F-bomb count (116) and how it’s definitely not a family movie. In addition to that, there were countless tirades laden with explicit language. It sorta reminded me of Chevy Chase in Christmas vacation, but this was multiple times and you get to a point you go cross eyed trying to keep up until you can’t. Is it necessary? No, not really. There’s a joke where Deadpool says to Wolverine “this movie is already long enough”… if they cut out all the obscene tirades you could almost knock this movie down to 2 hours flat.

In an odd way this was a similar movie to the latest Kung Fu panda from a few months ago. We spend very little time with the rest of the franchise’s main cast and the story arc involves new people in a vastly different location.
We only see the Deadpool cast at the beginning and end and I kinda missed having them. But I guess if they wanted to make Deadpool feel more like a part of the marvel universe, sacrifices had to be made. Vanessa and Wade breaking just felt so random, though. The whole time traveling thing he did was for her after all. What was the point of all that if they weren’t going to stay together?

In one fell swoop, pretty much every part of the Marvel universe gets a spotlight. One or two jokes alludes to Fox having the rights to X-men and the fight to get them back. Also one reference I caught alluding to a planned reboot for a certain character that’s been in limbo for so long it might never happen.

And as can be expected, the soundtrack is great. Something for everyone. We get a call back to “angel of the morning” (as heard in the opening credits of the first movie) and probably the most hilarious opening credits sequence and the most nostalgic ending credits sequence ever.
Speaking of, it is worth sticking around to the end. That marvel tradition is still very much in play.

A few more random comments-

The latest Thor movie had screaming goats. Deadpool and Wolverine have the world’s “so ugly it’s cute” dog, Mary Puppins. Aka the biggest scene stealer of the movie.

While at Paradox’s TVA location, Deadpool sees this big machine and utters “What in the name of macguffin is that?”

Probably too fast for most people to catch because a lot of this movie’s dialogue is “blink and you’ll miss it” fast. But I caught this and went “wait, I’ve heard this mentioned on TCM.” So of course I had to look it up.

It’s classically defined as a noun (person, object, event) that triggers the plot that the main characters care about but the audience typically doesn’t. “North by northwest” was the tcm movie that mentioned this in the intro/outro section and the item in question is the contents of the microfilm. The audience doesn’t care what’s on the film (and we never find out anyway) but Cary Grant (mistaken as a federal agent) is being pursued by a bad group that wants to smuggle this microfilm of supposed political secrets out of the country.
The article I read also mentions how the definition for macguffin got muddled thanks to George Lucas, who thinks it’s something the audience should care about. Like the Death Star plans or the one ring from lord of the rings.
Considering all this I’m not sure if Deadpool’s comment is accurate. The timeline splitter machine is critical in the climax of the film. So I think his comment was merely foreshadowing and he only said it to make himself sound intelligent. I gotta say that it was a pretty cool reference, incorrect usage or not.


Grade:
B, if I were grading this as a movie, but for entertainment value, a solid A.

Trailers:

Just before the actual trailers started, we got two extras.

Mufasa

Not sure what to expect from an origin story about the most famous king of pride rock. It’s just a little strange how they’re saying he has no royal blood at all yet he has this great destiny. Like whatever he accomplished as king made all that immaterial so everyone forgot his humble beginnings.


A complete unknown

I’m not a Bob Dylan fan by any means but the look of this movie is kinda intriguing. With Timothy chalmet in the lead role, it has potential. But I think I was drawn in cuz it showed a glimpse of the Chelsea hotel. Ever since Taylor mentioned it in her new tortured poets album, I feel like I’m seeing it everywhere now

Now for the actual trailers:

Speak no evil

They started showing the trailer on tv the same afternoon we saw it in theaters. It’s about two families bonding in an Italian villa, one local and one on vacation. The locals invite the vacationers to stay with them and things start to get… weird. Something is clearly off with this family (James McAvoy plays the patriarch) and of course by the time they figure this out, their tires are slashed and getting away seems impossible.
Yeah, skipping this one.

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

I saw the first few seconds and thought it was a trailer for the next season of Wednesday… despite the fact I’d never seen any of the show cuz we don’t stream. But I saw Jenna Ortega alongside other girls in school uniforms and that was my first thought. I completely forgot she was in this movie- and apparently Lydia is her mom (first time I think I’d seen Winona Ryder since black swan, so a while) and her mom is the local crazy lady.
And Beetlejuice comes back, shenanigans and all. It’ll be out a little early for Halloween but with all the right pieces in place, it looks like it’ll be a good sequel. Will it outdo the original? We’ll see


Borderlands

This is coming out this week… I wonder with the Mad Max backdrop of this movie made them want to capitalize on it?
I’m not sure if it’s based on a graphic novel or it’s a parody of the mad max genre. I only know I have no interest in seeing it.
It is kinda cool Jamie Lee Curtis is in it, though. Now that she’s won that Oscar (which had been for a sci-fi movie), she’s fully embracing the genre and having fun with it. Not that working on all those Halloween movies weren’t fun for her but this one looks like she’s more likely to get through alive.


Gladiator 2

At the time, the effects of this movie were groundbreaking. That still seems to be the case but they’re using a lot more computers.
I have nothing more to add. I saw the original when we rented it from blockbuster forever ago and I don’t remember a thing except that it was long and Russell Crowe and Joaquin Phoenix were in it


Wicked

This looks like it’s going to be AMAZING. They really leaned into the scale of it with all these effects. I’ve yet to see a single scene with a song in it but of course Defying Gravity backs the trailers.
Michelle Yeoh plays, I’m assuming, the headmistress of the university Glinda and Elphaba are attending. Another cool role I’m sure her Oscar win got for her- I swear she’s been all over the place since then and I’m all for it.
And just on the surface, it looks like they make Elphaba the wicked witch because she learns the wizard has no magic and they don’t want her revealing that secret to the world.
It’s a good twist on the story but I’m struggling to connect that back to the original movie… is Wicked going to destroy everything I thought about the 1939 film so I’ll never be able to watch it with the same perspective I had as a kid?
Oz, the great and powerful from over a decade ago did their own ridiculous origin story about the wicked witch but I thought so little of that movie (as did a lot of other people) that it didn’t matter. Wicked at least looks like it could be canon. The one deciding factor will probably be the slippers. Getting them back was the witch’s motivation to kill Dorothy (along with dropping a house on her sister) so I’m curious to see how they fit into this story. Also, they’re silver like in the original book. Most movie fans know the story how they made the shoes Ruby slippers to take advantage of the technicolor cinematography of the Oz scenes.


Captain America: Brave New World

I’d been hearing rumors for ages that Sam (aka Falcon) will be taking over as captain America from Steve Rodgers. Now it’s finally arrived. All I’ve got from the trailer is that he’s a bodyguard for Harrison Ford, who plays a politician and at some point his inner circle gets compromised.
My mom loves Harrison ford so we might just see this movie next year for him.

With Marvel in general, my enthusiasm cooled off significantly after Endgame. If I go to theaters at all anymore, it’s for characters alone, not for the MCU as a whole. Maybe one day I’ll do a post to encompass “life after endgame”.
With RDJr coming back as doctor doom, of course I’ll be seeing a couple movies just for him. Now that he has an Oscar, he can do whatever he wants- I just wish he’d done Sherlock 3 instead because that’s been on hold for 13 years and his marvel contract was a large part of thot.


Alien: Romulus

I’m guessing the name is a play on Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome.
Anyway a warning come up saying this trailer is rated R for gory violence… they weren’t kidding. I had no interest in this anyway but now I’m definitely not. As unsettling as this trailer was, the actual movie is bound to be even worse.

Beavis and Butt-Head Do America (1996)

Director: Mike Judge
Writers: Mike Judge and Joe Stillman

Cast:
Beavis, Butt-Head, Tom Anderson, Mr. Van Driessen (aka the Hippie Teacher), Principal McVicker: Mike Judge
Muddy Grimes: Bruce Willis
Dallas Grimes: Demi Moore
Old Lady from the Plane: Cloris Leachman
Agent Fleming, ATF: Robert Stack
Agent Bork, ATF: Greg Kinnear
President Bill Clinton: Dale Reeves

Write-Up:

Introduction

Yeah, after doing a lot of wholesome posts, this is not so wholesome... 
Right before MTV went to hell with crappy reality TV shows, it was the home of one of the most inappropriate and offensive cartoon series to ever exist. 
South Park came along a few years later in 1997 and took the theme of adult cartoons to a new level of depravity... and it's still on the air to this day.

For anyone who doesn't know, Beavis and Butt-Head are two teenagers whose only interests are watching music videos on MTV, goofing off in school and aspiring to one day "score" with some chicks. 
Before every episode, they used to run a disclaimer saying that the actions committed by this duo would cause any normal person "to get hurt, expelled, arrested, possibly deported. To put it another way, DON'T try this at home."

Why I found these guys so entertaining as a kid, I don't know... it's just that they did stuff that normal people couldn't (and shouldn't) get away with and seeing them fail or get seriously injured was hilarious to watch.
Beavis and Butt-Head were so popular in the 90's, someone had the genius idea to give these guys their own movie. 

The Story

After a crazy dream sequence where the guys are giants terrorizing a city, they wake up to find that their beloved TV had been stolen. The opening credits roll, showing them in the guises of crime-fighting dynamic duos like Starsky and Hutch and the guys from Miami Vice... nothing against this movie, but I still wish THAT movie existed.

The first 10 minutes or so show them going through their hometown of Highland, Texas to find their TV and interacting with some series regulars.

First, they end up at school and they try (and fail) to get away with the TV from the AV room. Their teacher tries to talk them out of it, saying how they'll one day discover there's a bigger world out there and they won't need TV... that doesn't penetrete their thick skulls, so he just says: "listen, I want you to take the TV back to the AV room right now and try to be more open to life experience, um kay?" The moment he leaves, Butt-Head says what everyone was probably thinking, "what a dork..."
They wreck the TV trying to get it down the steps and their neurotic principal expels them.

Next, they go to their neighbor, Tom Anderson's, and watch TV in his new camper. While they do, we hear how he's about to live his lifelong dream of traveling across America with his wife. But Beavis accidentally wrecks that TV by spitting warm soda ("ah, this crap is warm!!") all over it.

Eventually they end up at a motel complex... there's a random room where the Principal (strapped down to his heart covered boxer shorts) is being spanked by a hooker (he expels the guys again after they catch him)... but then they meet a completely new character not from the original TV series.

Muddy wants to hire the guys to "do" his wife and he'll pay them $10,000 plus expenses to do it. Of course, they think he wants them to sleep with his wife, so they eagerly agree to the job. She's hold up in a room in Las Vegas, so they fly out there. On the plane, they meet this old lady who says she'll be hitting the slots (Beavis thinks she means "sluts" so he thinks she's pretty cool). Their first take-off is pretty hilarious. Beavis freaks out they're gonna die and Butt-Head winds up falling to the back of the plane to find a flight attendent he fell in love with ("uhhh, could you do that thing with my belt again?") 
Things really escalate when the old lady gives Beavis some pills to perk him up and he immediately morphs into his erratic alter ego, Cornholio. Also, because this film was made before 9/11 happened, he's able to just waltz into the cockpit and he freaks out the pilots so badly with his random appearance that they almost crash the plane. 

There's a quick scene at a Vegas hotel lobby where they're dancing to a band performing "Rollercoaster of Love" by the Ohio Players. 

(I bring this up because this movie is the first thing we think of whenever we hear that song)

But they meet Dallas in the hotel and she's about to kill them when they explain their predicament. 
First, she says she'll double their money if they go back and do him. 
Butt-Head: Uh, you want us to do a guy? No way!
Beavis: I dunno, Butt-Head, this is a lot of money. Maybe if we close our eyes and pretend he's a chick... (Butt-Head slaps him) ahh!!

She figures out soon enough that they want to score with her, so she uses this to her advantage. She'd stolen a biologic weapon, the X-5 unit, from a military facility and sews it into Beavis's shorts to smuggle it to her final destination. She also books a bus tour that'll take them to Washington D.C. and she agrees to meet them there. 

Right after they leave, the ATF (Bureau of Alcohol, Tobocco and Fire Arms) bust into the hotel room to interrogate Dallas. Because she'd managed to smuggle the unit out of the room, they have nothing to legally hold her for more than a couple of hours. But we learn that she and ex-husband Muddy had run a mom & pop smuggling ring.

So the guys trek across America with the senior citizen bus tour... the old lady from the plane is among them so we get to enjoy a bit more of her. She'd "taken a beating" in Vegas so now she's bussing across country.
Their first stop is the Hoover Dam. The guys aren't super impressed, although Beavis asks a pretty funny question ("Excuse me, is this a god dam?"). They go into a control room full of TVs and start pressing random buttons to "change the channel" because they only have shows about water. Somehow, they manage to screw things up so badly that the floodgates are opened and Vegas temporarily loses power.

Of course, the ATF guys are convinced that the guys caused all of this chaos on purpose. It's kinda funny how Beavis and Butt-Head are so stupid and lazy, but we see that these government agents often aren't any more intelligent than they are at times.

Beavis and Butt-Head get separated from the tour group at Yellowstone park. They leave just before Old Faithful has an eruption and get distracted while playing with the motion-sensitive flushing toliets. They wind up getting on a different bus... full of nuns. 
There's another montage where they're just being inappropriate as you can imagine. Beavis sees some of the Bible and says how "this book kicks ass" and how there's a talking snake and a naked chick and Adam is covered with only a leaf. Next stop is a church where they go into confession booths and church-goers talk to them like they're priests... considering they get struck by lightning on their way back to the bus, yeah, they didn't act very appropriately.
The nuns decide to ditch them at the Petrified Forest where they're very easily distracted. 

Next, they trek through the desert after a guide on premise tells them Washington is about 2,000 miles that way... they keep asking about Washington, I'm surprised nobody directed them to Washington State. 
During this journey, they meet a couple of former Motley Crue roadies and based on their conversation and other things happening behind the scenes, these guys are their fathers. Although the bigger dude smacks the smaller dude and says "shut up, dumbass, you didn't score. I scored with both of 'em."

Some time later, they're alone again and are dying of heat exhaustion. Their lives flash before their eyes. Butt-Head's imagination pretty much tells us everythin we already knew- the two of them had spent their whole lives sitting on the coach in front of the TV. Beavis- let's just say his went REALLY far back. 
Then we get the one scene everyone remembers, but can't quite explain. Beavis hallucinates an entire music video sequence. Nostaglia Critic listed it among his top 11 mindf**ks because it's just a bunch of nonsense you can't make any sense of it. Fun fact: it was the brainchild of Rob Zombie. (Per the Critic's canon, it's also a "Big-Lipped Alligator Moment"- named after a random scene in "All Dogs Go to Heaven"- because it comes out of nowhere, has no bearing on the plot, and is never mentioned again).

Meanwhile, the ATF tracks Beavis and Butt-Head's personal history back to Highland. A SWAT team breaks into their house and tears it apart. Then they show up at their school while their teacher is singing "Lesbian Seagull" to his class... again, what the hell was that even about?

The interrogation scene's pretty funny, though. The Hippie Teacher tries to tell them there's something called "due process, um kay?" Agent Fleming says that's kind of talk he'd expect from their teacher and has him taken away. His response, "I believe I'm supposed to be read my Miranda rights" and he gets rammed in the gut before he's hauled off to prison.
The principal start to talk about how he never liked Beavis and Butt-Head and Agent Fleming shuts him up: "You've been harboring two criminal masterminds" and he walks away, still shaking.

Then comes a series of dialogue only a handful of people would find funny... I'm including it cuz I'm one of those people. 

Agent Bork: "Chief, you know that guy whose camper those guys were whacking off in?"
(They'd previously talked to the Andersons at a traffic stop and had them searched)
Agent Fleming: "Bork, you're a federal agent. You represent the United States government. Never end a sentence with a preposition!"
After some stumbling, he gets it right and proceeds to tell him about how they'd found a couple of possible matches from the local sperm bank for their fathers. 

I end sentences with prepositions all the time, but I still find that hilarious. Any good grammar joke is fine by me. We also revisit it later when Bork recognizes Tom Anderson at the White House and he's so concerned with being grammatically correct Fleming tells him "not now, Bork."
I also didn't find out until just before writing this post that Greg Kinnear did his voice. For whatever reason, this role was uncredited. Too bad cuz he's kinda like the Agent Coulson of the ATF. You just want the guy to succeed and be recognized for doing good work for the agency.

Throughout the movie, we also see random scenes with Muddy. He comes back from the airport to find out he'd sent the wrong guys to Vegas. He swears he's gonna track them down and kill all three of them. Somehow, he's able to find them in the desert. Just as he's about to kill them, they says how they're going to meet Dallas in Washington, and he decides to take them with him. And he puts them in the trunk of his car. 
Butt-Heads find a jack and spends enough time messing around with it that he manages to open up the trunk. The two of them jump out of the car and cause a massive accident on the highway. They also happen to come across the tour bus with the old people and that takes them the rest of the way.

Considering the bus had gotten pulled over and the riders had all gotten cavity searches, I'm amazed they agreed to let them come back on... 

Anyway, they get to Washington D.C. The Capitol Building to be specific. But as they get back on to go to the White House, Beavis starts freaking out because they hadn't met Dallas yet. He proceeds to give a pretty epic speech.

"I won't settle down. Not this time. Dammit! This always happens. I think I'm gonna score and I never score. It's not fair. We'd traveled a hundred miles and I thought we were gonna score, but now it's not gonna happen... I'm sick and tried of this. We're never gonna score. It's just not gonna happen. We're just gonna get old like these people and they've probably scored. Like this chick here's a slut. And look at this guy, he's old, but he's probably scored a million times. But not us! We're never gonna score! We're never gonna score! We're never gonna score!"
And after he'd told him to sit down a bunch of times, the bus driver runs over and beats the ever-loving snot out of him.

The old lady gives him something to help him relax, but unknowingly gives him the other pills and Cornholio makes an epic comeback. At the White House. What could possibly go wrong?

Muddy and Dallas meet again in the parking garage. He thinks he still has the guys in the back of his trunk and flips out when he finds it empty. They appear to be back together because the ATF catches them messing around in the backseat. But after they start talking about making deals and prison time, Dallas sells him out completely. 
"He stole the unit. He said he put it in some guy's pants." 
Also- this movie was made during the time when Bruce Willis and Demi Moore were together so it's kinda funny seeing them play these roles. 

Butt-Head makes sarcastic comments during the tour. Because there's no TV in the dining room, he says "this house sucks." He goes off on his own and meets Chelsea. "I noticed you have braces. I have braces too." And she throws him out the window... where the ATF grab him and give him that cavity search.

Beavis, on the other hand, gets into more shenangians as Cornholio than he would have on his own.
He has a stare-off with a painting of Richard Nixon. 

After a few seconds of silence, he says, "Are you threaten' me? I am Cornholio..." He gets to the Oval Office and grabs the red phone. I think it connects him to the Department of Defense and based on his commentary, the General in charge thinks the president is having a mental breakdown and elicit DEF-CON4. And the White House is evacuated. 
He also comes across some of the World Leaders who are there for the GPAC conference and talks with them... he's doing all of his typical Cornholio comments and they're actually taking him seriously... it's both hilarious and disturbing at the same time. 

Somehow, he makes it outside completely undetected amid the evacuation and finds Tom Anderson's camper. He takes the photo of Dallas out of his pocket and goes inside to... well... something he'd apparently done a bunch of times before. 
Tom Anderson was already in a huff about being forced to leave because of the evacuation and is about to drive over to see his congressman about it when he sees his camper shaking in the rearview mirror. 

"What the hell... pull your damn pants up, boy. I don't wanna see that. Dammit, get out of here! If I catch you whackin' off in here again, I'm gonna hog-tie ya." And he closes the door to straighten up. 
Bork spies him pacing him front of the camper and all of the agents follow suit. They're hesistant at first because there's an apparent flaw with the casing of the unit and they don't want to take a chance hitting it. But despite the fact he's walking around his in undewear, Cornholio continues to run on autopilot and it's funny to see the agents trying to negotiate with him

"This is Agent Bork. Listen, we need some TP and... what else did he say?"

Beavis comes back to his sense and Mr. Anderson comes back out just as they're about to open fire.
Tom Anderson: "And take your damn pants with you."
Agent Fleming: "Hold your fire!"
Anderson: "What the hell?"
Agent Bork: "The pants! He's got the unit!"

Another agent tries to take the pants, only to rip them open and the unit goes flying. In slow motion, it lands in Butt-Head's hand and he hands it over to Agent Fleming like it's no big deal. Everyone breaks out in applause. Tom Anderson gets arrested because they think he'd recruited the other two for his game. They also find the photo of Dalls in his camper.

And to top it all off, the guys get to meet President Clinton and he makes them honorary agent of the ATF.
They get back home and by complete miracle, they find their TV by the motel... and they walk back home into the sunset. 
Kind of a light sentimental moment that's marred by them wondering if they'll ever score, trading insults and Beavis saying he needs to stop by Tom Anderson's tool shed for a couple minutes.

But that's basically it. They have this big adventure traveling across America, something most people would kill to experience, but they're too dense to really appreciate it. For anyone who'd watched the series, this movie is pretty predictable in its plot and character arcs. But in its own insane way, it is entertaining. Also something that probably wouldn't be successful in this day and age where so much is considered offensive and culturally insensitive. 

Theatrical Review: 50 Shades Freed

Date: Saturday February 17 2018

Time: 12:20pm

Place: Cinemark Theater in Stroud Mall

Party: 3 (my mom, one of her friends from the community, and I)

 

Director: James Foley (I looked it up and he is the same James Foley who almost directed Purple Rain- he turned it down and suggested Al Magnoli who went on to do an amazing job with it)

Writers: EL James (novel), Niall Leonard (screenplay) (fun fact: they're married! mind=blown)

Composer: Danny Elfman

 

Cast:

Anastasia Steele- Dakota Johnson

Christian Grey- Jamie Dornan

Jack Hyde- Eric Johnson

Elliot Grey- Luke Grimes

Mia Grey- Rita Ora

Taylor- Mark Martini

Jose- Victor Rasuk

Kate Kavanaugh- Eloise Mumford

Dr. Grace Gray- Marcia Gay Harden

Gia Matteo- Arielle Kebbel

Sawyer- Brant Daugherty (of "Pretty Little Liars" fame)

Prescott- Kirsten Alter

Boyce Fox- Tyler Hoechlin

 

Duration: 105 minutes (+3 trailers)

Write-up:

http://moviegoerconfessions.blogspot.com/2015/03/theatrical-review-50-shades-of-grey.html

http://moviegoerconfessions.blogspot.com/2017/02/theatrical-review-50-shades-darker.html

my review of the previous movies for those who are interested... then maybe you'll get an idea of what kind of review is about to follow

 

Opening comments 

 

A couple of firsts came with this movie.

First, my mom and I had someone else in our party this time. Funny that the other day, she asked if we should include my aunt (who saw all those sci-fi/superhero movies with us) and I said no... and then she comes back from happy hour and says one of her friends wanted to come. I thought for sure it was going to be super awkward, but we were driving in the car on our way there (hit a little traffic, but luckily missed nothing) and she made that same comment and we agreed.

I think what kinda helped was that she sat next to my mom and I was on my mom's other side and I was kinda reacting to the movie on my own without much conversation between us. The funny thing is that instead of us seeing it in our local theater (which burned down a few days after we saw "Despicable ME 3"), it was in a big movie house and yet, the experience was simultaneously being part of a large group and intimate. If that makes any sense...

 

I will say that I didn't care much for the TV promos for this movie... pretty much every one montaged all the scenes where Anastasia was answering to "Mrs. Grey" or saying to call her that... yet in the books, she wasn't so quick to adopt her new married name and it was a point of contention between them. And don't get me started on the use of that Demi Levato song, argh!!

 

As for the actual movie trailers...well, after traffic, and having trouble finding a parking spot (it felt like it was a Black Friday situation except I'd never been to the mall on Black Friday-- must be the President's Day weekend sales), we were stuck in line for a bit because people in front of us wanted to do more than just buy a movie ticket and go... what a pain... luckily a second cashier showed up to take care of us...

Anyway, we were in by the end of a trailer. One of the actors played Morgan in "The Mindy Project" (that was such a great show...). From there, there were 3:

 

Ocean's 8- Sandra Bullock is out on parole like George Clooney was and she's getting a group together to rob from a fashion show. Mindy is in the cast along with a lot of other bad ass chicks of various backgrounds. It looks like a lot of fun.

 

Book Club- it's about women in their 60's and 70's wanting to rekindle the sex in their lives after they read 50 Shades of Grey... this was the PERFECT trailer for this movie, I swear :P not sure if we'd see it in a theater because my folks are mad about something Jane Fonda was politically involved in years ago... but it'd be fun to see on HBO when it comes there.

 

Mamma Mia! 2- I'd heard about this, but had no idea how they could do another movie or what it's even about. I was afraid that Sophie had cheated on Skye with 2 other guys and she was in the same situation as her mom. It is actually following the model of the "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" sequel where they went into how Tula's parents met. The young girl in the trailers is actually Donna and how she met Sam, Bill and Harry and Donna and the Dynamos became a thing. A bunch of us are still mad about Meryl Streep's political comments, but we still like her in movies like this. It also appears that they recast Harry Bright cuz that does not look like Colin Firth. Too bad they couldn't recast Pierce Brosnan and get someone who can actually sing...

 

:sigh: much like I'd been doing all this stuff to put off doing some Prince-related writing (summing up why my favorite songs and albums are my favorites)... I'm putting off getting to this actual movie... it really wasn't that bad, but it's not Oscar-worthy cinema by any stretch of the imagination.

 

Book to Movie Adaptation

 

I did this for all the other movies, so I might as well do it now. I think this was a faithful adaptation. There were some R-rated details and uncomfortable dialogue that they did not put in the script... I think there was a scene during the honeymoon where Christian told Anastasia not to use the bathroom before sex because it'll make for a better orgasm. Something like that... although I've heard (not that I'd personally know- still a virgin and in no hurry to change that) you should do so after you have sex because it cuts the risks of UTIs.

 

And then... well, the trailers do spoil the fact that Anastasia gets knocked up, that's not giving much away... there is a scene towards the end of the movie where they do stuff in the red room while she's pregnant... seriously, WTF? Then he makes some other comment that just made me wanting to shout obscenities at him. But then again, I spent much of this book doing that. It's a strange thing, though, because my plan in life does not involve having children, yet whenever a man gets possessive of a woman and pregnancy is involved, I flip out on them. It's about her and the baby, it's not about you and your so-called "needs."

 

I don't know if it's that feminine instinct or I was really wronged by a man in a previous life... I've got a lot of weird opinions about a lot of random things. And there are some Prince songs I don't like to listen to because the lyrical content conflicts with those opinions... less than 10 out of 100's of songs...

 

Moving on... already WAY off topic.

 

 

The Main Event

 

Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey get married in a nice ceremony and there's a montage with the opening credits showing all their honeymoon exploits. (Which are more about collecting Pandora charms than sex scenes-- but they did manage to squeeze one in there... because why not?).

However, getting married has not deterred Christian from being possessive and controlling. If anything, it's gotten worse. I will give him the fact that Anastasia potentially winding up in a tabloid because her being bare-breasted on a nude beach... but everything else after that... there's a reason RED is the safe word here. A lot of red flags. As much as he is willing to compromise and he's compromised a lot over the last movie, there are still issues I have with him that will likely never go away.

 

Much of the movie is about the two of them adjusting to the married life, dealing with the underlying threat of Jack Hyde (Anastasia's former boss who attacked her in the previous movie) and an unexpected pregnancy.

 

For the sex itself... they did up the ante a bit compared to the previous movie.

It's like this... the first movie was about the two of them getting to know each other. Likewise, their sexual identity as a couple was still trying to find itself. The second movie brought more communication into the fray and this movie has more focus on the S&M bondge and such. Like it's a regular thing for them now and she's ok with it. And compared to the previous two movies, there were more sex scenes. At least one or two more that I can remember.

 

Not counting the honeymoon montage and one of those scenes where there's a look exchanged and the next scene she's asleep in bed...

 

1- handcuffs on her wrists and ankles... a bit of dialogue that was missing, though... in the book, after they finish, he's very apologetic to her because the handcuffs left marks on her skin and he'd been too rough on her... this is one of those points where the book harkened back to Twilight where Edward was really apologetic to Bella after they have sex because he left bruises all over her body. It bothered me how some people said that their relationship was abusive and that scene was an example of that. It was not intentional at all. Whereas I'm pretty sure the handcuffs were Christian's idea and he regretted it afterwards.

 

2- there's a car chase scene... a really cool one... and for whatever reason, Anastasia got such a high off that adrenaline rush that when they pull over into a parking lot, she climbs on top of him and they do it right there... I don't remember that scene in the book at all (the chase scene or the sex)... I don't know what everyone else was thinking, but I was kinda like "yeah, ok..." not really sure what to think. Also, the way it was shot and acted out, it was a little clunky and awkward. Almost like a scene from Showgirls where the actors were positioned in a such a way where there is no conceivable way that penetration could have occurred. Actually, there wasn't just one scene in Showgirls like that. (I hadn't seen the movie myself and don't plan to, but I had seen a couple of videos of people reviewing it or just pointing out all the CinemaSins committed)

 

3- the "frustration" scene where Anastasia actually uses her safe word... on the third book and it FINALLY happens... as she puts it afterwards, "that was not love, that was revenge"... I remember reading that scene in the book and cheering that she took a stand. But I don't remember it involving a vibrator. That was another of those awkward scenes to kinda watch. I have a feeling that it'd be the kind of scene where, if I was younger, my mom would send me out of the room and to come back when it's over. (That happened years ago when she was watching The Sweetest Thing and I think it was an oral sex scene... I think I saw it years later when I was old enough and she was the one on the receiving end).

 

4- well, let's just say this scene kinda ruined Ben & Jerry for everyone :P ... the only cliché that was missing out of it... the two of them were getting busy on a tabletop in the middle of the night... I was so waiting for the following scene to be the next morning and everyone was having breakfast at the same table... they had that "boob land" dialogue in the nude beach scene yet they couldn't push the super cheesiness of this movie to that extent?
Minus Ben & Jerry, that scene kinda made me think about a Prince lyric "I'd rather wait 'til everyone's fast asleep and do it in the kitchen on the tabletop"... "Shh" is such a great song if only for the guitar solos alone...

 

5- there's a montage that occurs in Anastasia's mind when she's musing over a cup of tea of them having sex...

 

I might be missing another, but that's the basic gist of it.
For the most part, though... the positions really didn't vary a whole lot... some might find that lame and boring... but I guess as far as the awkward vs. erotic debate goes, this movie probably has the most awkward sex scenes of the franchise. It's almost like they stopped caring about not hamming it up too much. They knew the material wasn't the greatest and just wanted to get through it.

 

I know this franchise is meant to be about... as Anastasia puts it in the second movie.. "kinky fuckery"... the best parts of it weren't about it so much as the villain.

I don't know why, but I kept calling Jack Hyde "Eric" in my head... maybe cuz he reminds me of Eric from "True Blood" despite not having seen much of it... or cuz his actor's name is Eric... but yeah, the threat of them coming after them felt really real. And the adrenaline involved with that was a good high. Not to mention it means something interesting is going on.

There were a few laughs during the movie at some inappropriate times (never during the sex scenes, so that was good), but there were some good timed laughs. One of them was when Jack gets reprimanded by the bodyguards and they say how they don't have anything to hold him. Anastasia says that they have things to use... it's like... yeah, we ALL know what she's talking about. And it's a good use of that equipment for sure.

 

However, the ultimate climax of the movie... it maybe borrowed a little too much from Twilight... the female protagonist having to meet someone dangerous and keeping their movements secret from everyone else they care about... but it was a good conclusion to this. And Anastasia gets to have one more bad-ass moment I had to cheer for- even if I was the only one in the theater to do so. (The Twilight movies really did not give that to Bella at all and that's a tragedy... she's much better a character than she's given credit for, I think).

 

Beyond the sex and the action, this movie is ultimately character driven and it's about our two main characters and their relationship. They're not going to buy into it unless you feel invested in them. Some people aren't, but I am for some odd reason I really can't explain. I just hang on the edge of my seat (despite knowing what happens) to see where things go with them.

 

The biggest issue I had with Christian Grey throughout the books boiled down to his overreaction over Anastasia's pregnancy.

But the way it comes about in the books, maybe I was reading too much into things, but I was under the impression that someone at work was purposely not fielding calls from Anastasia's doctor to her about certain appointments and that's how she missed getting her birth control shots.

 

However, in the movie, she gets sick and sees a doctor and just finds out she's pregnant and just simply forgot to go for her injections. And then Christian loses his shit over that.

:sigh: see, this is my big issue... somewhere in the 2nd book, he makes a comment that he hates condoms and has her see a doctor to get a certain kind of birth control that is a monthly injections. If this relationship is ultimately his idea, why the hell is it her responsibility to be on birth control? If it was a mutual thing that both of them did, that'd be something else... but him losing it with her just infuriated me. In the book, they were having sex practically every chapter. Not so much in the movies, but really... all that sex, what do you expect is going to happen?

Not in the book, but in Breaking Dawn part 1, I also took issue with Edward's reaction to Bella wanting to keep her pregnancy. Because this human-vampire hybrid baby was practically killing her, he said that they were supposed to be partners after being married and she had decided without him to take herself away from him forever. Men (living or undead) can be real jerks sometimes when unplanned pregnancies occur and it just infuriates me.

 

But when the two of them (back to Anastasia and Christian) talked about it and she really gave him a piece of her mind about his overreaction to what happened... that was just so good on her. I was proud of her just telling him how she felt and not letting him off the hook for his behavior.

That was something that the third person in our party admired to. She said how she kinda didn't like the actress in the previous movies, but she really liked how she stood up for herself. In a world that has become so about girl power and women being able to stand up for themselves... not a lot of the movie really speaks in favor of that, but there were scenes like this that supported it. And I thought that was good.

 

Not sure of what any of the songs were, but there were some really good songs in the movie. And of course, I got a little emotional when "Love me Like you do" made a comeback at the end in a very predicable fashion... I just love that song so much and I had since put it to a figure skating montage. Not someone I have romantic feelings for, mind you, but his skating just kept coming to mind when I listened to it to the point I just couldn't avoid doing it. It's not as good as the montage I did with a Depeche Mode song (which really told a good story through the footage I used), but it went all right.

 

As for grading this movie...

I guess I'll give a B+.

There were some good points in the movie I really liked, but there were some low points where I either hated Christian Grey or just thought the sex scenes were awkward to watch. Or just really bad cheesy dialogue.

 

One thing he did that I liked... after doing something that made me very unhappy... Anastasia commented how she never got to spend time with her friends anymore. The next scene, her friends get to come with her on a weekend getaway and she gets some good time with them. And somewhere in between, Ben & Jerry becomes the third party of a three-way. I'm not the type of girl who needs to get a pint to eat my feelings about things, but it will be a while before I get myself another pint :P