This morning I swear I had a dream about her, seeing her as she was in “Ice Princess” wearing a purple hoodie, and later on I’m explaining her psychics project from the movie as if I was her.
Fast forward a few hours later, I’m crying during the Aly & AJ song from the opening credits of that movie… and a few other songs on that amazing album.
I’m no stranger to various elements of my life being influenced by people I’ve never met… ok, I have met 2 of them at autograph signings but you get the point. They exist in social spheres mine is not in regular contact with.
The point of this whole spiel is that in some small way, I guess Michelle left a similar impact on me which is why I’m sad about what happened to her. Plus the fact we’re close in age- I’m still a bit astonished about Aaron Carter’s death from a few years ago, even as a non-fan, for the same reason.
And just to be completely transparent, this connection is more about characters she played in movies than her as a person. I don’t know if she still thought fondly of her time working on Harriet the Spy and Ice Princess years after filming them. But I have fond memories of seeing these movies and see bits of myself in their characters.
Harriet the Spy
I may not agree with what she used her writing skills for- spying on neighbors and penning hot takes of her classmates to name a few things. I also don’t credit this movie for all of my journaling habits and the fact I have so many notebooks— I swear they all have a specific purpose!
But people like Harriet who write their feelings down more than they speak them to their close friends and relatives, I can certainly relate.
If I’m not drafting or outlining fiction or doing journaling about the day to day stuff, I use writing to organize my thoughts on everything else.
One prime example- I have a blog I started in 2007 to document my thoughts on Prince’s music- specifically because I had to put my thoughts somewhere (there were so many!) and I didn’t have anyone in my life I felt comfortable spewing all these things to before they get sick of it.
But mainly I get my thoughts out better through writing because I can write my thoughts faster than I could express the same thoughts them verbally.
The one thought I keep having regarding all my notebooks- whoever finds them when I’m gone is going to have a lot of interesting writing material… assuming they can read my handwriting, haha. And hopefully they’ll be kept and treasured, opposed to winding up in a landfill somewhere.
Just to give you an idea, at last count I have over 20 of them and at least half a dozen are completely filled in with my musings or story outlines
Ice Princess
I enjoyed this movie when it first came out but it later became a memento that brings me back to an interesting time in my life.
The Sochi Olympics (which I was super locked into that year) were just ending and little did I know I was weeks away from finally getting contacted about a job offer after three years of receiving next to zero follow up from every position I tried for.
Of course retrospective makes it a little more magical than it felt at the time I was living it but enough time has passed where I have the freedom to choice how I remember it. The same way where certain songs mean something special to me personally because they provided the backdrop to a treasured memory.
I didn’t make this connection at the time it came out but Casey Carlisle and I have some key things in common. Both of us had aptitudes in sciences and we had family who pushed us to that path because it ensured a better career. We also both had passions for our things, more artistic things with far less job security.
My dream… still a work in progress sadly. Then again my life also isn’t a Disney movie.
Also- I’ll freely admit that this movie isn’t super realistic. Johnny weir is the only person I know who started skating later in life (he was a teenager) who found any major success in the sport.
I still question the fact one girl’s parents had to take out a second mortgage on their house to fund her career (especially since they look well to do based on her mom’s fashion choices). Another’s dad working two jobs- that’s easier to believe.
But when it comes to Casey, I love that she found her passion and fought for it. Plus she had genuine skating talent. Based on the one featurette they were running on the Disney channel when this movie came out, Michelle did learn some skating for this role but the jumps and some of the trickier elements were most likely someone else’s doing.
I also love that this movie- and the Olympics- brought Aly & AJ back into my orbit. Even in times like these where the memories make me a little sad, but it’ll eventually pass.
Another connection that may or may not go back to this movie— when I name my fictional characters, sometimes it’ll be a name that randomly comes to mind and just feels right.
Casey Carlton was one of them but I might have also been inspired by an American idol semi-finalist, I think her name was Casey Carlson… I know she existed but no clue which song she performed. But it had that magical thing called alliteration and I always had a fondness for the name “Casey” for a girl. I wound up using this character on 3 occasions, all of which connected to someone who was on my mind a lot at a certain time.
So technically fanfiction in 2 of the 3 and each story had a cameo from the main character from the previous one.
So anyway… not sure if I have a proper conclusion at the end of all this but this is where my mind’s been for the last 6 or so hours.
If I had any words for Michelle at the end of all this, I’d just say thank you for bringing these characters to life. I really enjoyed the little time I got to spend with them.
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