Date: Sunday May 7 2023
Time: 11: 25am
Party: 3 (my mom, aunt and myself)
Review
Considering the surprise success this series had been, there was naturally a lot of hype for this latest installment.
The rumors on the street were a) it was going to be a dramatic departure for the series and b) it was going to be the best marvel movie since “endgame”.
My first thought- oh shoot, how many people are gonna die? I’m pleased to say that any concerns I had going on— they were ultimately unfounded.
In all honesty, while the guardians series are geared more towards fun action with a kick ass soundtrack, it still has a lot of drama. I’m still not over the plot twist about what Peter Quill’s dad did to his mom… but ultimately I feel that this series has done the best job, maybe of any series I’d followed (marvel or not), of balancing comedy and drama. This movie had probably the darkest storyline and easily the highest body count but like life in general, you learn to take the bad with the good and chances are the good is what will stay with you the most.
The first movie threw this ragtag group of characters together and made them a family.
The second movie was more insight into Peter’s tragic backstory and introduced us to Mantis.
The third (and possibly final) installment was all about Rocket Raccoon.
All we’ve heard about his origin up to this point were a couple of outbursts in the first movie. Rocket getting bent out of shape because someone called him “vermin” and how he “didn’t ask to be made.” It was something he never talked about and with all we learn, it’s not surprising.
The main plot of the movie is launched when Rocket is left gravely injured, fighting for his life, and the guardians have to retrieve some sort of code to save him. Because whoever made him installed a kill switch preventing them from operating on him- essentially a catch-22 situation.
Through a series of flashbacks through Rocket’s delirium, we discover he wasn’t the only animal involved in outrageous science experiments. His three companions, Lylla, Floor and Teefs are more machine than animal but despite their eerie appearances, we can’t help falling in love with them. (My mom compared them to Sid’s toys in Toy Story… a cuter version of that but it also depends on what one might consider “cute”).
For some reason, the guardians series (and possibly marvel in general) has a strange obsession with villains with god complexes.
Thanos took it upon himself to “snap” half of the world’s population out of existence as a solution to diminishing resources.
Ego, Peter’s dad, procreated on nearly every planet so he could take over the galaxy.
This villain… he has a bizarre hang up about perfection. Where he creates new and better species but on a whim, he can just as easily destroy them and start over, hoping the next iteration will be free of previous mistakes. Naturally there’s some problems with that. No matter how much time, energy and resources you have, perfection just isn’t obtainable. And it’s always pretty messed up when creators throw away their creations like they’re meaningless to them. Like they don't have lives, hopes and dreams of their own.
Beyond that, we have the anticipated reintroduction of Gamora.
The short version is that she’s back, hanging around with the Ravagers and she has no memory of her time with the Guardians.
The long version, for me, is a bit more annoying. In general, Chris Pratt plays a lot of likable characters and I still think Peter Quill likable. But there are moments where I just REALLY don’t like him. Mostly where Gamora is concerned. I haven’t forgotten that his obsession with her was ultimately the reason why we had an endgame film…
But he’s still holding onto this illusion that he and Gamora are soulmates. Even when she tells him that the version of her that he knew doesn’t exist anymore, he won’t let it go. He even goes on about how they were boyfriend girlfriend when I’m positive that they never even kissed or hooked up or whatever. He’s literally the epitome of a guy who can’t take no for an answer and I HATE that about him.
On top of all that, he was depressed about not being able to find Gamora that the movie starts with him in a drunken stupor… one of many based on how Rocket and Nebula dealt with him.
With Groot, he's still great, but he's more or less the residential Swiss Army Knife of the group. He can sprout wings to glide or a dozen arms, each with its own gun. You kinda reach a point where you throw up your arms and just go with it cuz what other choice do you have?
For me, the highlight of the film were the interactions between Nebula, Drax and Mantis. Nebula is unconventional at best as a hero but she’s still cool. She and Rocket have a lot of similarities because they were manufactured beings that their creators considered expendable.
Drax is still the same- like a neurodivergent insult comic that’s not always aware that his comments are insulting or offensive.
Mantis was always an interesting character but she REALLY gets to shine in this movie. She shows off her unique abilities in battle but she loses her temper on occasion with these other two characters. Some people might find her annoying but I felt like she was one of the few characters that make sense in the insane asylum that is this team. She also reaches an epiphany that maybe she needs to figure out what she wants out of life, opposed to serving the interests of other people.
Another highlight a lot of people will also be talking about- Cosmo the dog. She’s kinda like the dog from “Up” where her space suit does the talking for her, but she contributes more to the story than just “SQUIRREL!!”
There’s an ongoing feud between her and Kraglin all because he called her “bad dog” but when it matters most, she becomes a very valuable asset.
The movie caps off with an epic showdown… the best way I could describe it comes from another movie- “some twisted Pinocchio-Geppetto stuff”
(It occurred to me while watching and took me a few seconds to remember where I heard it from- “Pixels” when PAC-Man attacks his creator, Mr. Iwatani)
The reason why Rocket was attacked was because his creator wanted to take him back— something about needing his brain to fix a problem he was having with his latest attempts at perfection… and finally Rocket gets to give him what’s coming.
I’d say that was the climax of the movie but there were so many climaxes and so much action it is over the top.
One too many perilous scenes where everyone survives against all odds, misdirection where some characters leave their posts to save others and wind up needing to be rescued themselves…
As enjoyable as the character interactions during these moments were… I’d describe this movie as an over large Dagwood Bumstead sandwich. This comic book character is notorious for making massive sandwich with hundreds of layers of bread and ingredients where he’d have to unhinge his jaw to consume the whole thing. Now imagine that times infinity. Some of the layers could have been left off and the sandwich still would’ve tasted really good. (Or you could substitute Shaggy and Scooby Doo- either way, a little too much stuffing)
And before this review gets too overstuffed, I gotta talk about the music…
As always, the soundtrack is as much of a character as the actors. And it seems like it’s gotten a few modern upgrades over the last few years. We still have some oldies and goodies, “badlands” by Springsteen, “crazy on you” by heart. But we also get an acoustic version of “Creep” by Radiohead for the opening credits sequence and “the dog days are over” by Florence + the machine for the big celebratory scene at the end. These are from 1993 and 2008 respectively so it kinda shows times are changing. Both were used very well.
Another thing that’s also kinda neat… Rocket wasn’t into Peter’s music obsession at first but now it seems like he’s just as into it. Plus there’s a cool mid-credits scene where various characters talk about their favorite songs and artists. Killing time before another battle.
As a music fan, I love those discussions and I hope they become more frequent in pop culture… but not too much where it becomes another overdone cliché.
There’s also a quick post credits scene. Nothing previewing another movie. But there’s an interesting Kevin Bacon “cameo” if you pay attention.
Makes me recollect that funny quote from Peter about Kevin bacon being a great hero who taught a town full of people “with sticks up their butts” how to dance.
Grade: A
(It would seriously be an A+ if it wasn’t so overstuffed… if it’s the final movie we get in the series, it went out on a big high)
Trailers
Once again, movie time was 11:25. It didn’t start until 11:51.
Fast and Furious X
Jason Momoa is the bad guy and there’s a scene where a car races down the side of the hover dam… do we REALLY need another of these movies?!
Gran Turismo
Kinda interesting- they’re trying to capitalize on this new trend of making movies from video games. Except this is about recruiting people that are good at this racing game series to drive actual race cars
Hunger Games- Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes
I never read the book because I don’t want to see President Snow being portrayed as a good guy when he was younger… but I gotta admit this trailer makes me want to revisit Panam. It looks really good…
Oppenheimer
Decent length trailer as one of the most anticipated movies of the year. Also I FINALLY found where RDJ is in the movie. It’s for a brief second at the end where it’s in a court room in black and white… not sure how big his role will be but he appears to be some sort of lawyer. And before anyone says “just google it!”, I’m not researching it because I wanna be surprised. Even if I don’t see this movie until it comes to HBO
Transformers: Rise of the Beasts
They showed a teaser trailer during Mario. This is a full one and it looks impressive… just not something I’m personally interested in seeing
Little Mermaid
Little by little, we get to see more of this movie with each trailer and I can see more potential for it to be a really good live adaptation of a Disney movie I’m very attached to… not spending money on a ticket but when it comes to cable, I’ll definitely see it. And I’ll probably still be a hot mess by the end like I am with the original. It’s very bizarre mix of happy and sad I have zero control over, even in my 30s. Pretty pathetic, right?
I’m just hoping Disney will continue pursuing new characters from different backgrounds instead of redoing old movies with the characters being different races.
A Haunting in Venice
A creepy looking movie that begins with a seance. I wanna say it looks like they’re going outside the typical scary movie formula with this one but it’s hard to be sure. I’ll probably never see it
The Marvels
They did a tv series (or streaming…either way I never saw it) involving a teenager with the same powers as Carol Danvers. Now the worlds are colliding… kinda looks like a small-scale version of what the Spiderverse series is doing. I’m not sure whether I’ll see this one or not. But I tend to enjoy movies that are propelled by a massive estrogen rush (SuckerPunch and the birds of prey Harley Quinn movie in particular) so I might enjoy this one too, even if she’s not among my top favorite avengers
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