Yeah, Arnold's grandparents are pretty cool... they're both kooky in their own ways. As much as I want to say "despite that, they're always there for him whenever he needs it"... sometimes Arnold is the one helping them... that's kind of Arnold's thing: he helps anyone who's in need even when they don't believe in their own abilities.
One strange thing I noticed: Arnold's Grandma is only central to a couple of episodes of the series. And most of them were very early on. After that, her quirks are the only thing she brings to the series... good for a quick laugh, but not always memorable. Well, this and the fact Arnold celebrates some holidays differently because Grandma gets some of them confused.
Mugged
As the title suggests, Arnold gets mugged at the beginning of the episode and he's shaken up pretty badly.
Helping to lighten the mood, Mr. Hyunh keeps asking him "Big punk?" and Arnold responds with a dejected "big..."
Grandpa finally gets him to knock it off and says he just needs to take some self-defense classes. Grandma comes in and says he seems fine and offers to make him green tea. He says he'll just make hot chocolate and leaves.
The next day, Grandma is dressed in a karate uniform and offers to start training Arnold.
I remember there being something with a fly and she says "when you can snatch the fly out of my hand, your training will be complete"... I think she also says before that "the spider does not seek the fly. The fly will come to him"... no, it's being a frog in a pond. Anyway, there's a lot of philosophical stuff involved. A bit more than what Daggett from "Angry Beavers" experienced (haha- there was one move called "the silent wind of doom... also known as the headband thingie)
So Arnold passes his training and gets so hardcore about it that he does a karate demonstration for his friends and family. Later he has a conversation with Gerald about how he'd never felt like this before and he likes it. Gerald cautions him not to let it go to his head... or something to that effect. And there's also a "Are you talking to me?" scene and Grandpa responds ("no, I didn't say anything") to temporarily break the tension.
It reaches a point where Arnold accidentally lashes out at someone on the street and he walks away crying: "I just wanted to ask 'where's the bus stop?'" Everyone turns on Arnold and he runs until he's able to catch a train. Grandma is there and he says he's giving up, realizing he'd gone overboard. To his surprise, she says that his training is now complete. She reminds him of the "fly will come to you" mantra and he realizes that it means he shouldn't look for trouble, but use his training when he really needs it.
To top it all off, the guy that mugged him shows up on the train. He recognizes Arnold and dares him to take the bus pass back from him... he succeeds, freaking him out so much he offers to give back everything he took...
Again, this show isn't perfect with continuity... but considering Monkeyman had to save him from a mugging in a later season, he didn't maintain his training.
Field Trip
Arnold and his friends are on a field trip (well, duh...) to the aquarium. Supposedly he'd missed the last trip in the 1st grade because of chicken pox. And his classmates keep hyping up one animal attraction: Lockjaw.
Before that, we meet a tour guide that tells them not to tap on the glass, scare the fish... "no sushi chefs!"... admittedly, this joke would be considered in poor taste now, but I laughed just remembering that cuz it's so random. And also no skateboards. (That's important later, trust me)
They get to Lockjaw and it's a big old tortoise with grafitti all over his shell. Everyone is super disappointed. Sid comments that he seemed bigger when they were in first grade. Arnold is so discouraged about it that he thinks about Lockjaw for hours after getting home. He tells Grandma about it and she offers to help him.
They put on disguises and she makes up characters for them as they drive over.
"From now on, you call me chief. And you'll be Agent 9." Then she hands him a bag, "take this, #9, it's our gear." It's a bunch of rope and grappling hooks. After a beat, he asks, "Grandma, do you have a driver's license?" ...and she proceeds to laugh like a crazy lady, haha
So they arrive, clean off his shell and Grandma decides they should bust him out. Arnold asks if it's against the law. She avows, "against the law, the queen, perhaps. Against the law of common decency, I think not."
Moving him proves easier said than done, obviously because he's over 2,000 pounds.
Another moment that made me crack up as a kid.
Arnold: Careful, don't get too close to his mouth
Grandma: (screeches, holding up a sleeve without a hand in it)
Arnold: (gasps) Grandma...
Grandma: (pushes down the sleeve to reveal her hand) these darn sleeves are too long...
I seriously laughed about that for minutes after seeing this episode the first time.
The two of them raid the closet of confiscated skateboards and use one to get Lockjaw out.
While all of this is going on, the worst security guard ever is messing with the animals. First, he keeps feeding a penguin, saying "have a cookie... oh, you tossed your cookie"... then he keeps digging his hand into a shark tank, "Yeah, dumb old shark... c'mon, Jaws, bite me!" and he promptly falls in.
Somehow, they get Lockjaw into the car...
...and get him out to the ocean... the two of them have a sentimental moment after the experience they had. But Grandma has to make it weird by saying she suddenly has a hankering for some turtle soup.
There's a character in the game: Spyro- Year of the Dragon, named Agent 9... sometimes I wonder if this is a coincidence or not...
***
Girl Trouble
I'm only mentioning this episode because Grandpa reveals to Arnold that he dealt with a bully when he was growing up, just like he's been putting up with regarding Helga. And it's revealed at the end that Grandpa's bully was Grandma... considering he always refers to her as "Pookie," I never would have guessed Gertie was that same person.
I read up on it because I didn't really remember much about it except Arnold dismissing Grandpa's theory that the bullying is because Helga likes him... and he's thoroughly convinced that he's wrong.
Reading about it... it's not a fan favorite episode. Her bullying was worse than usual, he retaliated and got in trouble and she never got punished... I ship super hard for Arnold and Helga as it is, so it's possible I just blocked this episode out.
A lot of Grandpa's story arcs revolve around his competitiveness... sometimes rivalries going back decades.
Two episodes involve Rex Smythe-Higgins... this rivarly is so intense that Arnold "continues the tradition" with his grandson, Rex Smythe-Higgins the Third. The first was about an annual boat race. If I remember right, neither of them win because their boats get stuck together and wind up sinking. The two old guys fight and the young guys are befuddled. Rex the Third says "they're acting like... children..." and the two of them leave their grandpas to their own devices.
Another (The Pig War) centers around the reenactment of a border conflict, with the Smythe-Higgins on one side and Arnold, Phil and his friends on the other. His pig Abner gets abducted by the other side and Arnold learns one key thing about this reenactment that Grandpa conveniently left out... if they don't get Abner back by a certain time, the other team will cook and eat him.
When he confronts Rex the Third after his team infiltrates the enemy camp (via a Trojan Horse... Pig), he tells him that Abner is his pet... Rex immediately turns traitor and helps Arnold's team achieve victory.
His grandpa isn't happy about this, obviously. But Rex stays adamant: "But grandfather, it was his pet." He comments how he's had pork chops before, but Rex shrugs it off "yeah, but none i knew personally"
Steely Phil
Apparently Grandpa was a mean Chinese Checkers player back in the day...but after being beaten by Robby Fisher (clearly a reference to famous chess player, Bobby Fisher) 50 years ago, he hadn't played since.
Well, there's a tournament coming around. Robby Fisher will be there and Arnold gives Grandpa the confidence to compete. The guy is extremely smug... every time he beats an opponent, he says "next victim..."
When the two guys have their rematch, it's very intense and history winds up repeating itself... well, not exactly.
For years, Grandpa had been haunted by the one move he didn't make that would've kept him from losing that bout. And he finds himself in that place again... except this time, he's able to turn the tables and defeat his demons.
He moved backward inside of forward, so instead of losing, he put the two of them in a stalemate. And Robby Fisher is left inconsolable... what a baby...
Grudge Match
This time, a present day conflict... Grandpa and Arnold are heading home from somewhere, but as they back out of their backing space, they have a collison with Helga and her dad, "Big Bob" Pataki. Neither wants to concede fault and agree to a wager: the winner of a game of golf will pay for the damage to both cars.
Only one problem... Grandpa thought Big Bob meant tennis when he agreed to it... he and Arnold try to train, but it doesn't go well. All the while, he plays the same golf video, but it keeps putting him to sleep. He's so nervous about looking bad in front of Big Bob "and your little friend with the one eyebrow" that he tries to sneak out, but Arnold stops him.
A strange thing happens when the big day arrives... Grandpa randomly remembers some of the rhymes he learned from the golf video and they actually help him play pefect golf. Meanwhile, Big Bob gets more of a temper as the game progresses. Helga becomes more of a pack mule than a caddie and even she reaches a point where she's had enough.
Grandpa's perfect streak ends when they get to a weird hole that he has no rhymes for. After a few errant shots, there's another quote I still use to this day... whenever appropriate, of course.
"Waiter's, there's a golf ball in my quiche!"
I swear... I said that once when a golfer (I think it might have been Phil Mickelson) hit a ball and it ended up in a tented area full of people and it got a good laugh out of my dad.
The opportunity doesn't come often, but it's the best line to say when a golf ball ends up in a strange place like that.
Arnold tries to come up with a good rhyme for Grandpa to use... but Grandpa kinds says it's the worst attempt he'd ever heard, but nice try. So Grandpa wins the whole thing... but then the accident happens AGAIN... and it's deja vu. Yikes...
Grandpa's Birthday
Another super memorable episode. Grandpa is completely convinced that he's going to die at the stroke of midnight on his 81st birthday because of a family curse. The two generations before him died under the same circumstances.
Arnold is not convinced, however, and tries to make him believe it. He even gets him to see a doctor, only for Doc to say that he's as healthy as an ox.
Meanwhile, the boarders all have a pool going about when he'll kick the bucket.
Spoiler alert: he doesn't...
While retelling the story of the family curse, he gives the dates of birth and death for his dad and grandpa... Arnold does some math and says "Grandpa, that means they were both 91 when they died." A few seconds of finger counting later, he groans, "Oh, I'm an idiot. The family curse is 91, not 81. That means I still have 10 more years before I'm worm chow. I'm not going to die!"
The other boarders are pretty happy with the news... except for Oskar.
"Oh great... now I lose the pool..."
Back to School
Maybe this is why Grandpa got that math wrong...
Arnold asks Grandpa to help him with his homework. It's long divison. Grandpa makes up an excuse and promptly leaves the room. It's revealed that Grandpa never got his grade school diploma.
I had to look it up... he was forced to quit during 4th grade to help his family during the Great Depression.
Arnold convinces him to enroll in school to rectify things. Everything goes well at first, but then he gets to 6th grade and things get a lot tougher. He's surrounded by a lot of tough guys that make him nervous. This makes him turn deliquent and he starts to neglect his studies and finds himself on the verge of explusion.
There's one weird scene where he's with Connie and Maria (yeah, those 6th grade girls...) and he tells Arnold they're going to sneak into a PG13 movie... first of all, you don't need to sneak into PG13 movies because you're not ID'd and turned away, unlike R-rated and beyond. Second of all... yeah, a lot of people have pointed out that it's kinda creepy that Grandpa (an 81 year old man) is hanging around two 11/12 year old girls.
Arnold finally sets him straight and he gets his grade school diploma... but he turns down the idea of going beyond for the rest of his education.
Grandpa's Sister
There's some bad blood between Grandpa and his sister, Mitzi (she asks Arnold to call her "Aunt Mitzi"). And Arnold wants to figure out why.
He goes through old photo albums and sees how close they used to be. Then after a point, they're always facing away from each other and just not smiling. He also comes across pictures of their dog, Pooter.
So... Arnold asks him about their dog... and it turns out the source of their conflict was that Pooter got lost and each of them blames the other letting it happen.
And they're finally able to put everything behind them and make peace.
...
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