When I was brainstorming a list of topics for these posts, this was one of the last ones I came up with... up until this point, I'd been going in the order I came up with them.
But because some of Arnold's classmates are going to be more fun to look back, I decided to move this post up...
These two men appeared throughout the series and were, possibly, featured in the same number of episodes.
(Looked it up: Dino is in 3 episodes and Coach is in 4... pretty dang close, though)
We first meet Coach Wittenberg in Benchwarmer... Arnold, Gerald and a bunch of their friends are on the basketball team. But as they're getting to know their coach, they also find out that his son Tucker is on the team... and his #1 strategy for them to win games... "always give the ball to Tucker."
...so you can kinda see where this is going. Tucker can play well enough, but some might consider his skill level average. Arnold gets into trouble with the coach by passing the ball to Gerald instead on one play because Tucker wasn't open. But the coach refuses to listen, thinks he isn't a teamplayer and hence, we have our title.
Tucker and Arnold start talking when he finds Arnold shooting hoops... and he wants him to help teach him to do better free throw shots. He opens the first lesson with an interesting little fact: the surface of a basketball has... I couldn't find the exact quote, but it's around 35,000...
There's a training montage where they're both blindfolded and I think Arnold says a sage line like "be the ball"...
Come game time, Tucker turns his free-throw game around. When his dad asks how he did it, he concurs with his assumption: "yeah, I did it all on my own"...
Arnold overhears this and isn't too happy, and I think he lets him know this in a not-so-subtle way. Tucker starts to feel guilty and decides to feign injury so Arnold can take his place. He helps lead the team to victory and the coach learns a valuable lesson about what it means to run a team.
A lesson he continues to learn over two other episodes.
Coach Wittenberg is the namesake of this next one where he's running a bowling team. Rhonda, Harold, Eugene, Arnold and Gerald are in need of an adult for a coach and he winds up being the answer to their prayers... ok, not quite.
Supposedly, the Coach got fired from the basketball team after too many complaints from parents (I can't imagine why...) and he got kicked out of the house by his wife because he kept losing jobs. So the two parties come together out of necessity.
Rhonda's main concern is not breaking a nail so she never puts her fingers in the holes... why she wanted to do bowling in the first place is a bit of a mystery to me.
Eugene is his usual klutzy self. And Harold is equally incompetent.
Gerald and Arnold's skill level is passable.
His coaching style is so abrasive (he makes them do push-ups if they do badly!) that the others want to fire him. Arnold decides to talk to him to get him to ease up... he says he should use psychology and that'll encourage them to play better.
Coach refers to this as "psych-o-cology"... not quite the right pronounciation, but he kinda gets the point. I think he convinces Rhonda to play better by telling her about other great women bowlers and there's a dramatic closeup when she finally puts her fingers in the holes.
Eugene, I remember the most... Coach gives him a mantra to be his point of focus. Apparently Eugene is fond of stringed beets, so he repeats those two words to himself as he goes up to bowl.
Things get a little intense when his wife, Tish, is the coach of the other team. Coach lets his emotions get the better of him and Arnold has to rein him in so they can win the game.
Synchronized Swimming is his final coaching job in the series. Somehow, he ropes all of the guys in Arnold's class into doing this. And it's such a weird combination because he's not the most sensitive guy and this sport needs sensitivity to create a compelling performance.
I think Arnold asks him what was the last thing that touched him and he tells him about this old Western, "Wayne." And at the end, the man on his horse leaves town and the boy runs away him, saying, "Come back, Wayne!" ...I'd never seen it, but it's based on the movie "Shane."
And the guys do a routine to one of the songs from the movie... and it ends with Eugene on an infloatable horse leaving the others behind.
The fourth episode is about Coach and his wife Tish remarry and they make Arnold and Helga their best man and maid of honor... I don't remember much about it so I can't offer too much extra commentary.
**
Crooner Dino Spumoni is based off either Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin... I'm not sure.
He's first introduced in The Old Building... Arnold finds himself in a very awkward predicament. His grandma asks him to help her save the Circle Theater, the same building Ernie Potts wants Arnold to help drive the wrecking ball to destroy. Before finding out their interests were in the same building, he unwittingly makes commitments to both of them.
But during various conversations, he also learns that both of them love Dino Spumoni. Grandma and Grandpa had their first date at the Circle Theater where they saw him perform. And I think Ernie likes listening to him before going out for a demolition.
Arnold somehow tracks him down to perform and they make peace. The theater also gets named a Historic Landmark so it'll stand forever.
In School Dance, Arnold gets him to perform there. But Dino also uses this opportunity to give his farewell performance because he's sick of touring. He writes a new song for the occasion: "My Last Bow."
... I don't remember much about it, but it's clearly not a song meant for a school dance. It's a downer and as Arnold puts it, "you're not even trying!"
Eventually, he changes his tune (haha, I couldn't help myself...) and the dance winds up being a huge success.
Partners is an interesting look back at how Dino got started... when his partnership with long-time lyricist Don Reynolds comes to an end. Funny coincidence: they both got their start at the Sunset Arms boarding house and they both come to the decision to move back there to strike out on their own.
What they don't know is that the other had the exact same idea....
Arnold and Gerald are having their own difficulties coming to an agreement about what to do for a talent show. During this time, one of them spends extra time with Dino and the other with Don. They hear their lackluster attempts at songwriting and offer feedback, none of which is taken seriously.
They then get the brilliant idea to put their two songs together (Dino's great music and Don's brilliant lyrics) and perform THAT at the talent show. And they invite both of them to attend... something they don't find out about until they're about to take their seats.
They hear their song and finally put their differences aside.
Dino Checks Out
The story is that Dino Spumoni goes missing and is pronounced dead... Arnold is among the attendees at his funeral. A funeral that includes several ex-wives.
The funniest thing I remember about this episode was one exchange of dialogue that repeats.
One of the wives has a son, who's bored out of his skull.
More than once, he asks in a really obnoxious voice: "Can we go now?"
And she crows back at him in an equally obnoxious voice: "In a minute!"
Don't know why... I always thought that was hilarious.
Cut to the chase... Dino faked his own death because he wanted to benefit from the inevitable boost of record sales... which is why he left a lot to Arnold as well. He's holding up in the boarding house and due to various circumstances, they think he's a ghost and it helps him maintain the ruse a bit longer.
What inevitably makes him out himself... pure vanity. There's a new "Dino Spumoni" that's making money off his songs. And he comes to one of his shows to punch him in the face and ultimately takes over the performance.
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