Theatrical Review: Toy Story 5

Date: Sunday June 28, 2026
Time: 10:30am (the actual movie started at 10:57)
Party: 3 (my mom, sister and I)

Review:

Introduction

It's kinda shocking to think I wasn't initially considering going out to see this movie. We all grew up with the Toy Story movies. Even though my sister and I only saw 3 in theaters, it's another of those Disney franchises we've known and loved a long time. Not so much Toy Story 4 for me because it felt unnecessary after how great 3 was. There'd also been a couple of seasonal shorts they did for Halloween (Toy Story of Terror) and Christmas (Toy Story that Time Forgot) we enjoy returning to every year.
When 5 was announced, I was skeptical as I'd been for 4. As much as we love these characters, what's left for them to do to keep things fresh, interesting and overall fun?

The Taylor Swift effect

No surprise- the thing that tipped the scales for me was Taylor Swift getting involved. There'd been billboard sightings for months that Swifties had attributed to the soft-launch of the Taylor's Version of her debut album. I even heard whispers of her being the first person in a while to win an Grammy and OSCAR in the same year. I'm here thinking "wait, what do you mean Oscar? I know she did that song for the Cats movie everyone trashed"... but nope, they were talking about this. 
"I knew it, I knew you" played on the radio station at work the day it came out... unfortunately while my hearing is good enough to pick out that atrocious KPop Demon Hunters song from a mile away, I wasn't able to hear this song clearly other than it being Taylor's signature style. Including today, I've listened to it with full focus and zero distractions three times and at some point, I may have to purchase the mp3 so I have it readily at my fingertips. I'm also long overdue to purchase the other Midnights tracks that were only available digitally, but that's beside the point.

The point is Taylor got us to this movie. And we owe her a big thank you. It was a really fun movie with our favorite characters and the all-too-relatable emotions at its core. It brought back all the feelings we've had watching the previous movies and gave us some new things to ruminate on. 
Actually, the movie was so good I completely forgot until the credits that her song was in it. There's a post-credits scene or two but it's worth sticking around a few extra minutes for the charming animations that accompany her song. 
I haven't fully absorbed the song yet but I agree with all the comments- it definitely shares the same folklore with "Betty" and solid proof that her country roots are never too far behind. 
And the fact that "Karma" happened to be playing on the mall's PA system on our way to shop at JC Penney's afterwards... to borrow from another Midnights track, no way was that accidental...

Movie Discussion with potential spoilers

If you asked anyone who'd seen Toy Story, any of the movies, which moment stood out to them the most, their answer is likely to be one of two things. Either Andy's farewell at the end of Toy Story 3 or "When She Loved Me" from Toy Story 2.

Can I just say I'm so grateful that this movie only brought back that song's heartbreaking melody and none of Sarah McLachlan's vocals? There's numerous emotional moments in this movie, some hitting harder than others. If her voice came in singing any of it, I wouldn't be able to get through without crying hundreds of times. All of us still remember that first time hearing it and the gut punch that was in the movie.
It makes me all too happy to report that after the emotional rollercoaster Jessie has had throughout this franchise, she finally gets some much needed closure regarding Emily. It takes a long while to get there but the payoff... I won't give away exactly what but it was beautifully done. 

The much-hyped up central conflict of this movie was the whole Toys vs. Tech debate. How devices and screentime have taken over the lives of kids and teenagers. They do a really good job of making LilyPad a formidable enemy, including her not-so-subtle way of removing the toys from Bonnie's room so she can take over. 
But if there's one thing I've learned from this franchise, the baddie is never the first person you expect. Oftentimes, it's the last person you expect and when it comes out of nowhere and it hits you, it hits you. The two characters are extremely different and while I only have the first Inside Out to go by, Riley and Bonnie go through a lot of similar things. Struggling with the changes that come with growing up. 
Mind you, Inside Out had me sobbing almost through the entire movie. It was a lot- the twist at the end about how Sadness is just as valuable as an emotion as Joy helped make up for it in the end. But if we didn't have the toys in the spotlight doing their thing and this movie solely focused on Bonnie's struggles, it would've been a much sadder movie to get through. 

We saw a little of this in TS4 when the one "friend" she "made" was a talking spork she named Forky, but her difficulties making friends is still very much front and center. Her character is only 8 but it's hard not to see a little of myself in her. Making friends has never been one of my strong points... 
Toy Story 5 did a really good job of balancing all of the different emotions and showing off how many dimensions all of these characters have. Woody makes a reappearance to pitch after leaving at the end of the previous movie and he and Buzz Lightyear still have that great chemistry. But Jessie is clearly the star of this movie. Her with her trusty steed Bullseye and some new friends she meets along the way. 

Along with the main storyline, we also have a few interludes featuring a bunch of Buzz Lightyear toys. They emerge from a shipwrecked shipping container and get into various situations before intersecting with the main story. Let's just say they're full of surprises, which they should considering that they're the latest model of the toy.

Easily the highlight for me was the play aspect. Whenever the toys are played with in this series, the imagination of these kids is always a wonder to behold. My favorite was when Jessie is brought into playtime along with the early-gen devices she meets. I can't give away what happens but seeing the plot twists that play out and how much fun they are to watch... it reminds us all what attracted us to these movies in the first place. It brings that kid in us back to the surface. 

All that's left to say is if you're one of those people who skipped out on TS4 or have skepticism about coming back to this 30 year old franchise.... please reconsider. The proof is in the cinematic picture but if the behind-the-scenes special on ABC that aired a few weeks ago was any indication, the people at Pixar love what they do and it's reflected in their work. 
It still blows my mind to think that one of the writers was born the same year the original Toy Story came out... not because it makes me feel old but the fact that opportunity came and she was able to take it and make something amazing... it doesn't get much better than that.
Also, I can't remember the last time I watched any movie and was so absorbed that I didn't check to see how much time was left.

Grade: A (can't quite give it an A+... maybe 97 or 98 out 100... one storyline could've wrapped up a little bit sooner)

Trailers:

We need to stop getting to the theater so early because all of these ads and commercials are so annoying...

I know that Toy Story is technically a kids' movie but it was a little awkward having to sit through all these kiddie commercials.

Of course we had the trailer for Minions and Monsters and latest Paw Patrol movie.
And Moana again... hopefully our next time to the movies will be to see it because it still looks fun. 
At least to their credit, the minions trailer was funny. I have it in my notes as "death by Lego."

There's a new Spider-Man movie subtitled Brand New Day... I know I hadn't watched any of the new ones since Endgame. To the point I think I've flat-out refused to see this series without Tony Stark. But it feels like I definitely missed something because Peter didn't seem on familiar terms with Bruce Banner or Mary Jane. Is it a multi-verse thing or amnesia? No idea... but I don't really care enough to find out.

There's a teaser for Pixar's next movie, Gatto. Where it's two cats interrogating another and they all get distracted by the swinging lightbulb.
Hexed is another Disney movie coming out this fall. It's about a teenage girl who discovers she has magical powers and winds up in a magical world. I wonder how all of the die-hard Owl House fans feel about it, whether they'll support another Disney property about a magical world or they'll just bemoan the fact their beloved show was unceremoniously put out to pasture before its time. I didn't see much of that series but I saw enough that I did enjoy it and I feel bad for the fans for how it ended.
(I googled it- there is a thumbnail for a video connecting the two so yeah, it's still a sore spot)

The two non-Disney animated movies were Forgotten Island (which I still very much want to see in the fall) and Wildwood.
Wildwood, I'm still figuring out what it is. They say it's by the same people who brought us Coraline so it has to be magical but also a little creepy and weird. 

Theatrical Review: The Super Mario Galaxy Movie

Date: Saturday, April 4 2026
Time: 11am
Party: 2 (my sister & I)

Feels like just yesterday the first movie came out. I don’t think anyone expected it to be the big success it was. And when it became the success story it did, there was no doubt there’d be a sequel.
Now there are endless possibilities for potential sequels. I’m just hoping Nintendo movies don’t become the next MCU and we end up drowning in sequels a decade from now.

So far, though, they’re two for two with Mario movies. My sister thought this was better than the original. I’d say they’re both really good in different ways.


I just had one minor nitpick- Rosalina needed more screen time.
Back when one of our favorite YouTube gamers played the game this movie took inspiration from, it was maybe my favorite Mario game from the play throughs we’d watched. The worlds were really imaginative, varied and graphics looked AMAZING. I liked Rosalina right away as Mario’s guide on his journey to rescue Princess Peach from Bowser. But part of it was because her whole look and demeanor reminded me so much of Elsa from Frozen (which came out a few years before that playthrough was uploaded).

In the movie, Rosalina got some good setup and got to show off what a badass she can be. Unfortunately it’s not enough to prevent her from being kidnapped. I’m sure someone online will calculate this but I’m pretty sure Luigi got more screen time in the previous movie during the time he was kidnapped.


For maybe the first half hour of the movie, I was enjoying it but it oddly felt too predictable. The way Rosalina is kidnapped, how the Bros. meet Yoshi… plus we get a fun but silly montage of Mario and Luigi looking after the Mushroom Kingdom while Princess Peach and Toad go off to save Rosalina.
Then we get to Gateway Galaxy and things finally start getting good. Although I’m sure some people will say they borrowed a little too much from Star Wars in terms of plot points… I made this connection right away but I didn’t mind. These moments included Peach’s fight scene in the casino (a den of villains much like Mos Eisley) and the scene before that reminded me of a scene from one of the prequels where there’s a chase scene in flying vehicles in a city at night.
But most notably- casting Fox McCloud as the lovable rouge Han Solo character. (I wasn’t a big fan of Glen Powell’s Top Gun character but this role suited him perfectly!!) It was a stroke of genius and his scenes had many callbacks to Star Fox 64, including barrel rolls galore. If he gets his own movie, we can only hope it includes his comrade Falco quipping “hey Einstein I’m on your side”- which he says when you accidentally shoot him too many times in the game.
The major plot point of the movie and why Rosalina is kidnapped… Bowser Jr. wants to power his own Death Star, which he calls his “boomsday device”, and plans to blow up all the galaxies so he and Bowser can regain their reputation.

At the end of the previous movie, Bowser is essentially removed as a threat. No worries, though, he does get restored to his former glory and Jack Black does his thing if not better than the first movie. No musical numbers, sadly, although “Peaches” would be hard to top.

Just like with the first movie, there are tons of Easter eggs and references. Characters from different Mario games and Nintendo franchises. One character fills a similar role to the sloths in Zootopia and somehow makes it even funnier. Another winds up participating in the final battle against the Bowser duo. I don’t know what franchises they’re from but both are playable in Super Smash Bros.
Which makes me wonder if a movie based on that game is on the horizon. The look Fox and Mario give each other before teaming up gave the impression they were remembering a previous life they weren’t on such friendly terms.

By far my favorite parts were whenever the art style changed and was just as impressive to watch. One included actual 8-bit game play while the characters went through obstacles.

As a foe, Bowser Jr. is very formidable and it’s almost more terrifying than dealing with Bowser himself. Then of course Kamek is back as a doting minion.

The trailer showed a scene where the Bros. are babies and I wondered if time travel was involved, which would be a reference to the Partners in Time game, or they simply got transformed. Either way, it leads to a crucial moment where Toad finally gets over whatever jealousy he felt toward Yoshi when he joined the group.

Overall, it was another enjoyable theater trip. The room was maybe half full and people were into it. One moment that stood out was right before the heroes win and a girl shouted “yes!” a second or two before they dealt the finishing blow.

Grade: B+


Then with the trailers… it’s almost like the theater realized “wait a bunch of people are going to see this movie, let’s preview EVERYTHING that’s coming out this year.” It had to have been 20 minutes of trailers and maybe one or two movies will be any good.


Supergirl

• this takes place before the recent Superman movie and it looks like John Wick except in this case, the dog doesn’t die but Kara still goes on the war path to save Krypto
• There’s also a story about a girl whose family is killed by villains or something and Kara tries to talk her out of seeking revenge
• This looks like it might be better than the Superman movie last year but I’m not holding my breath

Paw Patrol: the Dino Movie 

• my sister is still tuned into shows like this so she knew the title before it came up

Sonic 4

• coming next year and this was more of a teaser

The upcoming Mandolarian movie 

• my mom and I are big Star Wars fans but we don’t have Disney+ and only saw this series the one time ABC showed it. So, we may or may not see this

Minions and Monsters 

• I think I’d rather wait for this to come to cable

The live-action Moana remake 

• all that mattered was that Dwayne Johnson was still playing Maui. Now that that’s been confirmed, we’re definitely going to see this one. 
• Also, didn’t Moana just come out? That was 10 years ago?!

The Breadwinner

• again, hard pass

Animal Farm- a cautionary tale 

• so I just read the book a year ago for the first time… I liked it to a point and then it just kept getting worse and I hated the ending. So while an animated version looks promising and entertaining, I’m going to look up spoilers when this comes out. Unless they change the ending, I have zero interest.

Forgotten Island

• I sat through a two minute YouTube trailer for this, possibly the one time I didn’t hit the Skip Ad button ever. It opened with the song from the Breakfast Club- how I could say no? Long story short, I’m definitely interested in seeing this one later in the year when it hits theaters

Theatrical Review: GOAT

Date: Saturday, February 14 2026
Time: 12:20 (start time was 12:36)
Party: 2 (my sister and I)

Setting the Scene

It was Winterfest in East Stroudsburg where they place unique ice sculptures in front of the various small businesses around town. It was also the warmest weekend we'd had in months. It finally peaked into the 40's after several weeks of 20's and lows as low as -6.
Needless to say, it was CROWDED in town. We took the back roads up to a point and by the time we got to the theater, it was movie time.

I'm not sure if this is going to be a common thing now, but they had a sign saying to buy tickets at concession. They have a kiosk to pay by credit card or gift card. I don't know if it's laziness or they're short staffed or it's an elaborate trap to get people to spend money on refreshments when buying tickets. But I'm not really a fan of this approach. It's also kinda hard to choose your seats on the screen when the screen is upside down.
We got in when they were already into previews. There was nothing special. They had "Hoppers" for the zillionth time. Not sure if constantly doing ads during the Olympics is convincing more people to see it or it'll have the opposite effect.
"The Breadwinner" looks like a modern remake of "Mr. Mom" but they kicked the absurdity scale up to 11. I think it could've been a halfway decent movie if they didn't make the missteps look so ridiculous or overblown.
"Minions & Monsters"- I don't know if this is a sequel or a mid-quel or what. But my sister and I had seen nearly all of the Descipable movies so we'll see this one at some point, if only on cable. 
Then they had a trailer for a non-Miyazaki animé film with a really long title that I didn't have time to write it down.

The Movie

The two of us grew up with "Space Jam" and that was part of the reason my sister wanted to see this movie. Plus we like Steph Curry, more for him being behind "Holey Moley" than his skills on the basketball court.
Actually, we're not really big basketball fans. I've been filling out March Madness brackets since 2009 but that's basically it.
That is to say- you don't need to be a basketball fan or have any idea of the rules to be able to enjoy this movie. The game is technically called roarball and each of the teams in the conference plays on fields with different climates, including volcanos and glaciers. That in itself is a pretty cool twist on the game. 

Will Harris is a small medium goat with big dreams. He loves his hometown team, the Vineland Thorns and their top player Jett Fillmore, despite them not having won a championship in 50 years. That on its own is something a lot of sports fans can relate to, being devoted fans to a home team that isn't always playing their best.

Will is experiencing some other setbacks of his own- including falling back on his rent and ultimately getting booted out of his apartment by his landlord. A gerbil (played by Wayne Knight, making this his first basketball movie since Space Jam) with LOTS of mouths to feed.
At the local court, he gets into a match with the movie's antagonist, Mane. Although he comes up short, his friends had the foresight to film the game. The resulting edited video goes viral and it catches the attention of the owner of the Thorns. Ergo, Will gets drafted to become the 6th player of the team, much to the chargin of Jett and confusion of her teammates. 

As cool as Jett is- played to perfection by Gabrielle Union- it was a bit frustrating how long it took her to give Will a chance to even play. But much of her reluctance comes down to her own struggles and not wanting to be that player who's put out to pasture before their time.

The rest of the team has their individual quirks too and they're really fun characters. Archie the rhino is a single dad and his twin girls have some hilarious dialogue. Lenny the giraffe (played by Steph Curry) has a side hustle as a rapper. Olivia the ostrich is a little high-strung from too much scrolling on social media. And Modo the komodo dragon... he's easily the most memorable of the characters in the whole movie. He's so weird and out there with plenty of moments where you're either laughing or uncomfortable or a bizarre mix of both.

There'd been a number of animated movies in recent years featuring animals with human characteristics- Zootopia and Sing come to mind.
But while characters in those franchises mostly walk on two legs, the animals in this movie stand out. They still have that anthropomorphism thing going on but when they're angry, scared or even excited, they'll get down on all fours and act as you'd expect them to act if you'd seen them in nature. Jett does some cat things, including recoiling when someone hits her with a spray bottle. And Will has those goat clichés people either love or hate, depending on whether you think they're overdone. He also has this weird superpower where his eyes turn from circles to ovals and it helps him have better peripheral vision on the court. 

I'd commented how I'm not a big fan of Gen Z lingo being slowly incorporated into movies and things like cancel culture and social media. This movie takes these things and handles them really well. Except Will getting feedback at a press conference about outrage from the cockroach community after complaining his roomate's house is full of roaches... that joke just felt like cheap and throwaway. 

For the animation, it's very colorful and lively. At times, it almost feels overwhelming how much is happening on screen at once but I suppose kids who are already hyped up on sugar and whatnot will be into it. 
Our theater had a fair amount of kids in it and there was some laughing. But easily the best moment was at the end where one kid just starts cheering and a few moments later, the movie caught up to that amount of excitement. Plus there was a short round of applause at the end. 

Steph Curry had said how this movie is partially inspired by his own story. While I wouldn't call 6' 2" short, that is considerably short compared to most basketball players. There's a few little references to him. I'm sure I'd seen his "night night" victory pose on some commercial so I recognized it when Will did it during the scene the Thorns win their first game with him playing.

Overall, yeah, it was a fun movie. I'm glad we went out to see it. It did have its setbacks and its slow points, but the action is really good and there's a lot of heart with these characters. What's not to love about that small town underdog mentality?

Grade: B+

Theatrical Review: Zootopia 2

Date: Sunday November 30, 2025
Time: 10:15am
Party: 2 (my sister & I)

Introductions

As promised, I saw the new Wicked movie with my mom and the new Zootopia with my sister. We'd been kinda slacking with the movie watching this year, but there also hasn't been much that generate that excitement. 
Perhaps next year will be better.

We arrived just in time for the previews, thanks to not accounting for the kind of traffic we'd see the weekend after Thanksgiving. We got off an earlier exit and she was my navigator as we cut through some local streets to get back to the route that leads to the mall. 
It was night and day, how slow the highway was and how [almost] deserted this road was.
Then when we made our way back, naturally the East side of the highway was slower than it had been earlier. But at least we got to see a rare Hawaii license that made the slow trek worth the extra effort.
To quote Ryan Stiles from Whose Life is it Anyway? 
"Welcome to Hawaii: how do you get here in a car?"

The trailers were nothing really special. We caught part of "GOAT," which is a basketball movie featuring animals and Steph Curry has the starring role.
Actually, he's not the starring role, but he does have a role as one of the players on the basketball team the goat character aspires to join. He's also one of the movie's producers.

Then they had the trailer for the SpongeBob movie and "Hopper," where there's technology to download human minds into really realistic robots of furry forest animals. I'm sure I'd mentioned it in another review but it still doesn't wow me. 

Movie Talk

I LOVED the original Zootopia so I was looking forward to this as well, while secretly hoping that this sequel was worth the wait and all the effort. Sequels are tricky business in general. "Frozen 2" I still consider a big disappointment with how good the original movie was.

Thankfully, Zootopia was the rare exception of a good quality sequel.
Was it as good as the original? Maybe not... both were super fun and exciting, but also had their dramatic moments. That moment where you find out who the real villain is and can't help wondering how things are going to resolve so the good guys are able to win. 
This plot twist and all the drama and peril following it ran a little long... but the good thing about these movies is the way they lighten the mood. 
In this case, Judy and Nick are having a really nice heart-to-heart where they apologize and say how much they care about each other and another character comments just as they finish "oh, by the way, the bad guy is getting away." 
Disney (and their many affiliates) have gone a little far with meta/self-aware humor but in this case, I couldn't help but laugh because I thought the same thing maybe five minutes before this was said on screen. 

The movie had a lot of moments where I couldn't help but laugh out loud. Some of those highlights were in Marsh Market where the Judy and Nick are being escorted by their new ally, a conspiracy theorist played by Fortune Feimster (a role absolutely written for her brand of humor) through the Marsh Market and Nick keeps making faux pas with the locals. 
Despite how dire things feel at times, with our main duo being wanted fugitives, there's still the occasional moments humor shines through and you're having such a good time that you forget just how much is at stake.

In both movies, the heart of it is obviously the camaraderie between Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde. Here, they're officially partners on the police force, but this comes with some unexpected complications that lands them in couples therapy. They take their first case and it falls into chaos because Judy is too gung ho about tracking down the bad guys that she ignores any attempts from Nick to think things through before acting. 
The lead they follow that gets them into trouble, not only with the powerful Lynx family but their brothers in blue-- the first snake had gotten into Zootopia for the first times in 100 years and they're branded fugitives for helping it escape.

Much like in the original, the plot revolves around debunking misconceptions. Instead of it being about "predators acting out because of their instincts" (spoiler alert- they were being set-up), it's about reptiles being outcast from Zootopia because one had been implicated in a murder, so therefore none of them can be trusted.
In truth, the real bad guys are the Lynx family and their hidden agenda is about expanding their territory, even if it means resorting to revisionist history. Judy uncovers this century-long cover-up and like it or not, Nick is by her side to help her see it through.

In addition to the new characters, NIbbles Maplestick the beaver, Gary the pit viper (Ke Huy Quan, who's still experiencing an incredible resurgence since being in The Goonies and The Temple of Doom back in the 80's), action movie-star-turned-mayor Brian Winddancer (whoa, Patrick Warburton has come a long way since he played Kronk in the Emperor's New Groove), we have the return of some old favorites.

"Try Everything" is one of the big reasons why I loved the original Zootopia. (The second biggest being Jason Bateman as Nick... I wasn't even a fan of this guy before this movie. Now, it's sort of like what happened with Ryan Reynolds. I didn't think much of him until he was Deadpool. Now, he's just awesome. Same goes with Jason Bateman)
But yeah, "Try Everything" is such a fun bop and it really set the scene for when Judy makes her first trip into the fabled Zootopia to make her dream of being the first bunny cop a reality. 
Shakira is back as Gazelle with a new song, which features at a Burning Mammal festival in the desert (gee, I wonder what that's a reference too...) and the end credits. 
"Zoo" isn't quite at the same level, but I still enjoyed it. 
Also, she gets to have a cool moment where she helps the good guys by distracting some of the animals pursuing them.

There's a few duos on the police force. The pigs (which I'm just now realizing is a really on-the-nose reference) show up the most and are the most cutthroat of the bunch. 
On the other hand, we have a couple of zebras who serve as occasional comic relief. As soon as they did their first head-butt chanting "Zebros!," I was immediately a fan. Sometimes I just can't resist a good pun, especially when it's this perfect. 

Also returning is Flash, everyone's favorite sloth from the DMV. As limited as his screen time is, he leaves an undeniable impression. 

Probably the most fun thing is all the little references scattered throughout the movie.
A lot of Disney references, like Judy wearing Belle's ballgown when she and Nick sneak into a gala. And when a frying pan gets used as a weapon (a little nod to Rapunzel from "Tangled").
My favorite might be a polar bear being seen holding a Coca-Cola bottle right before his snow mobile gets stolen. It's not labeled, but there's no mistaking the shape. A very fitting reference for a movie being released just before the start of Christmas time.

There isn't much left to say without giving any major spoilers away so I'll leave it here.
I'll just end with saying that this is a Disney sequel, or a sequel in general, that's definitely worth your time. Especially if you or someone you know is in the target demographic, although this is a movie that would be fun for both kids and adults.

Grade: A/A-

Why am I extra sad when my favorite female characters leave?

I still haven’t figured this one out.

I thought maybe it was just a phase I was in or just something my younger self got caught up in… but one of the 3 is more recent so it’s not just a passing fancy.
I’m sure the same would apply for all characters I like leaving a franchise or series at the end but there’ve been 3 specific characters, all female, I missed terribly when they went away at the end.

I loved the “Land Before Time” series to death as kid- although that love fell off a bit after they changed the voice cast in the 5th installment.
My favorite character only had ONE appearance in all of the 13 installments. Something I’m still a little bitter about. Chomper the baby TRex had 2 appearances… technically the only guest character to recur in the films but still!
And i honestly couldn’t say now why Ali was my favorite. But I liked her so much that I was sad at the end of part 4 when she and her family left. And I had recurring dreams about tracking down her voice actress just so I could say how much I loved her work in that one movie. I never found her in any of the dreams and in real life, Julianna Hansen only had that one acting credit. I still can’t believe that.

Next was Elora from the second Spyro game. I was still exhilarated when I beat the game the first time, I didn’t count on how much it’d hit me that she just disappeared from the overworld once you 100% the game.
Don’t know why that hit me so hard but I found myself drawing her to make myself feel better.
The saddest part was the epilogue book that says Spyro missed his chance with her… I thought they’d be cute together, why did they have to do that?
So of course I was thrilled she made a cameo in the post credits of the next game.
But fast forward years later with Reignited, she has a new look and new voice and I didn’t feel that same spark as I had for the older version. I still like her of course and it’s nice that she’s more of a love interest this time around but it’s not quite the same.

Finally Serena from Pokemon,
I loved her story arc because it felt like a page out of my own life. A random dream sparked my Pokemon fanfiction idea before I fell in love with my subject. The fact that Serena followed Ash because of her crush on him- I couldn’t help but relate. I loved all those cute amourship moments with them.
And yeah it was sad seeing my favorite season end, the end of any of the Pokemon seasons is a bit sad. But this one was more devastating.
I’d only seen this final episode twice. The second time which was a few years ago… I think I was more broken up about Serena going her own way than the season ending. It was extra emotional and I’m not sure why.
Plus, this was a few years ago. The other two were when I was 10 and maybe 14. So clearly it’s something I haven’t grown out of.

So now I’m trying to figure out if there’s some sort of pattern to this or I just form random lesbian crushes on certain characters. Elora being a faun and Ali being a brontosaurus also makes this a bit more complicated- if you want to go that route. I’m not.

Maybe it’s all in the voice and I have a thing for voices like Julianna Hansen and Melissa Disney (Elora). But Melissa was also the lead in “as told by ginger” and I liked her a lot but not to this degree.
Or maybe I felt a personal kinship with them and that’s the reason for it. Again, only 2 of the 3. Ali was super shy, just like I am. And Serena was shy and harboring a crush and was hesitant to share with her mom that she had a different dream than her. Things I can all relate to. But I had nothing in common with Elora.

Ali and Serena had a commonality where i preferred them as a love interest for another character or just preferred to them a regular female character in the cast. (Elora could almost fit this argument too except I never played the Legend of Spyro series with Cynder- although between the two I’d picked Elora even though she’s not a dragon like Spyro).
With land before time, Cera was always my least favorite character because she bullied Littlefoot in the original movie and challenged every decision he made. While no longer a bully who put him down, she was still the one character who didn’t want to go along with his plans.
Obviously it’s a kids series so there’s no romance involved but these were the same reasons why I didn’t like Misty in Pokemon. And this was before I found out about her rumored crush on him… if anything I made me feel more antagonistic toward her. He deserved better than the girl who was a bully and only followed him because of her stupid bike. But then you could make the same case for Helga from hey Arnold and I ship for the two of them despite her constant berating of him. I could explain that away for a few reasons but the main one is I understand why she does and she even expresses remorse for doing so. Misty never walked back a rude comment she made to Ash, at least not to him personally.
I’m sure I liked Serena because of her having the crush more than her being a better pairing than Misty but it became more about that later on.
Now that I think about it, I’m not sure if I would’ve picked up on Misty’s feelings if I hadn’t heard her song on the Pokemon soundtrack. And I wonder if I would’ve been more amiable toward her and open to her being a potential love interest if I picked up on that on my own. It was just thrown in my face and it occurred to me that maybe I like him and that’s why I reacted the way I did.
Also in general, I’m a main character girl and it’s a pet peeve when other characters pick on the main character or say they’re not good enough to achieve their goals. Cera putting down Littlefoot bothered me a lot but not nearly as much as Misty… where it felt like that was her one purpose on the show. Friends should be comfortable telling their friends when they’re getting ahead of themselves and need to rethink things but the way it always came off to me is “you’re being stupid, that’ll never work”. Sometimes she’s right but it’s more satisfying when he proves her wrong.
And of course I’ll admit when Ash makes mistakes. I’m just as annoyed as anyone else when he brings out a Pokemon who has a distinct type disadvantage in a fight. He makes it work sometimes but I’m always asking WHY? I don’t understand it but I don’t give him a hard time over it because he’ll either make it work or not. It would just be a little less annoying if he learned his lesson and made better choices going forward. But I’m fairly certain that he used Chikorita in 2 or 3 ill advised fights, like he didn’t learn from the mistake the previous time.
Ultimately this all became part of his training style. Going for unexpected matchups and using quirks in the battlefield to his advantage… when it works, it’s mind blowing and I love it. And it’s even sweeter when the people around him compliment him on it. Even without Serena, the Kalos series was my favorite because Ash had companions that took him seriously and admired him and he didn’t get a super swelled head about it. Not nearly as badly as when he was just starting out.

It’s crazy to think I’d been done with my fanfiction series for a couple years now, but the fact I’m his biggest cheerleader hasn’t changed at all. But I’d also been in his corner since I was 13, which is 2 thirds of my life. The kind of thing that never goes away.
I still haven’t written my retrospective with him leaving the series but I also haven’t seen the finale- but I’m also not in a hurry to see it because I know it’ll be emotional.
I gave up the series for a while when Veronica Taylor and the original cast left but i definitely cannot see the series going forward without him. I won’t do it.

Theatrical Review: Super Mario Bros. Movie

Date: Saturday, April 15 2023
Location: Cinemark Theater
Time: 11:50am (began at 12:12 after all the trailers and ads)
Party: 2 (my sister and I)

Review:

With the recent success of bringing Sonic the Hedgehog to the big screen, there’s no doubt there’d be a lot of pressure on Mario to do the same.
I’m not super familiar with the sonic franchise (or really any video game franchise other than Pokémon) but I enjoyed both movies that’ve come out so far.
Comparing the two for a moment, Sonic still has the better story and villain (Jim Carrey as Dr. Robotnik is really hard to beat). But both were a lot of fun to watch.

I’ve played a handful of Mario games (and seen even more on YouTube as Let’s plays). I wouldn’t necessarily call myself an expert. I don’t know what the lore behind Mario and Luigi is but I honestly didn’t expect this to be a fish out of water type story. Where both were plumbers from Brooklyn get sucked into Nintendo land and consequences unfold as a result.

The story overall is ok. Nothing super ground breaking. The main characters (Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, Toad, Bowser, Donkey Kong) are recognizable and their voice actors match their personalities pretty well. Really, the best part of this movie was the set designs and trying to find as many Easter eggs as you can.

And any time they throw in gameplay mechanics, it’s super cool seeing that in movie format. Like how when Mario meets princess peach, she puts him through an obstacle course to prove he can handle the journey ahead. And the Super Smash brawl between Mario and Donkey Kong where they use different power ups.

My sister and I have also seen several Donkey Kong Let’s plays on YouTube so the whole Kong island scene was a highlight. Peach and Mario go there to enlist an army to help them defeat Bowser. Seeing Cranky get a big role and Diddy and Dixie getting brief cameos (two of our favorite YouTubers nicknamed them Crinkles, Diddles and Dixels respectively) was a blast.
The antagonism between DK and Mario is fun to watch and it only gets better as they evolve into allies.

Of course, Jack Black as Bowser… you don’t get much better casting than that (except Jim Carrey as Robotnik… that just bears repeating).
We see all parts of Bowser’s character, including a little known sensitive side. The last thing anyone expected was a piano ballad somewhere in the middle of this movie… wouldn’t be surprised if Jack Black wrote the whole thing himself.

Easily the best part of the whole movie was the big battle scene at the end. I won’t give everything away but Mario and Luigi (who spent much of the movie being kidnapped) both get to shine in battle. And Bowser gets the whooping that’s coming to him.

Whether or not we’ll get a sequel, I’m not sure but the potential is absolutely there.


Grade: A-


Trailers:

It's almost like some executive thought: this movie is going to be huge so let's overstuff it with trailers that cater to kids and their parents.

The one cool thing they did do was add a couple of Nintendo Switch ads during the 5 minutes of commercials. One for the Legend of Zelda series and another for Mario Kart.


Ruby Gilman: Teenage Kraken

It’s an interesting idea, reimagining krakens as the good guys and mermaids as the villains. But as someone who grew up loving Ariel, I have a lot of mixed feelings about this…

Barbie 

easily one of the most talked about movies coming this year. It looks very pink, very colorful. Like your classic Frankie/Annette beach movie… not sure if I’d spend money on a movie ticket but Margot Robbie looks perfect for this role
This also makes me wish they made a "Birds of Prey" sequel cuz I loved that movie

About my father

another Robert DeNiro vehicle where he meets his son’s new in laws. 

The one memorable thing about this trailer was that the other family had a pet peacock and things don’t end well for it

Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume 3

this will be our next theater trip for sure and we’ll have plenty of company

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse 

I’m not sure if this is a sequel to the Oscar winning animated film from a couple years ago, but it clearly was.
Like with the last Suicide Squad, the titles were so similar it wasn’t inherently obvious. Whatever happened to just putting the next sequential number in the title? So we don’t have to second guess ourselves
All that said, I’m sure this movie will do just as well as the original. And it did very well


Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

As much as I wanna say “do we REALLY need another reboot of this series?”, there’s a very good chance we’ll probably be seeing it. They do bring back Bebop and Rock Steady from the original animated series and the turtles are actual teenagers this time.
I may be in the minority but my favorite is still the 4kids version. Having Michelangelo being voiced by Wayne Grayson who also did Joey wheeler in Yu-Gi-Oh! was a stroke of genius. (And maybe I’m biased but Veronica Taylor was also a good April O’Neil- minus that iconic yellow jumpsuit from the original series)

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts

This was a teaser trailer if anything. I’m not sure if it’s another Michael Bay “all explosions, no substance” affair or if it’ll be closer to the Bumblebee movie but it’s sure to make its money back either way.

(Looked it up- "Bumblebee" was a Transformers prequel and this movie is a sequel to that. Michael Bay isn't directing, but is one of the producers so there'll probably be plenty of explosions)

Book Club: the next chapter

The original was a cheeky idea. A group of older women getting into "50 shades of grey" and their love lives reaping the benefits from it. This one is likely to feature more “old lady” humor. The one good joke from the trailers was Candice Bergen saying how the ruins they're visiting in Italy are falling apart faster than she is. 
I didn't remember Jane Fonda being in the original so I had to double-check to confirm she was. In that case, I'm kinda surprised we saw the original. My folks have boycotted everything she's been in because of some political controversy from decades ago. (Something I know nothing about and therefore cannot/do not wish to add further comment)

Trolls: Band Together 

Ok... So the trolls are back but now we’re going into the boy band angle. Something about how Branch was the Michael in their Jackson 5 and the other members abandoned him and now they want to do a reunion
As a huge 90s boy band fan, I’m all about this… but if this is going to be Justin’s way of rewriting his own history, that’s not cool. HE is the reason *NSYNC broke up, not the other way around. Never mind that his solo music is 99% garbage… 

Migration 

honestly I spent almost this whole trailer expecting this to turn into a Duck Hunt movie. It was released alongside the original Mario game for the original Nintendo system way back when. Ergo, I don’t remember anything about what this movie is actually meant to be about, haha

Giving my favorite Voice Actors their flowers

I'd wanted to do this for a long time and on a day like this where I'm not feeling my best, it's the kind of thing I could use to make myself smile.
***

I grew up on animation. Disney mostly. But voice actors were among the first names in entertainment I'd since stored somewhere in my brain. As far as I'm concerned, these people are underappreciated and they deserve a lot more credit than they get. 

When I started making my notes for this, I wound up naming several people from different categories and thought this might become another series of posts.
I ultimately decided against that. Why make more work for myself for something that's meant to be fun? 

So instead, I'll just list the names I remember and if I find I'd forgotten anyone, that's what the edit button will be for. 
***

For starters, The Land Before Time was one of my first movies. When it came out, I was maybe 2. In the 90's, it became a series of direct-to-VHS movies and I was invested up until the 10th instllament. One cast of voice actors were obviously in the original and almost all the roles were recast in the sequels. For me, the best sequels were II through IV and my interest started to wane when the voice actors were replaced. 

Judith Barisi was the original Ducky (as well as Anna-Marie in "All dogs go to heaven"). She was a very beloved, very talented young voice actress. But her dad was abusive to her and her mom... suffice to say, things did not end well, and the tragedy of it is still felt to this day.

Jeff Bennett was Petrie in every installment except for the original. He'd since go on to do MANY voices in animation. For me, no one quite as memorable but he has remarkable range. 

Probably the best of the recasts was Anndi McAfee as Cera. She went on to play Ashley A in the ABC Saturday morning cartoon "Recess" so she has a knack for playing bossy characters I wasn't particularly fond of. (Although she was also played Phoebe in "Hey Arnold"... now that's range).
Interestingly, Scott McAfee, the best Littlefoot in my opinion, was her younger brother. Yet the two of them were two separate voice casts. 

Juliana Hansen played Littlefoot's cousin Ali in the fourth movie... to this day I'm still disappointed that was her one and only acting role. She was seriously my favorite character in the series even though she only appeared the one time. (She later returned in the TV series I never saw, but she was played by someone else).

It's also kinda trippy whenever I see Young Frankenstein to see Kenneth Mars (Littlefoot's grandpa through the series) as the Inspector... I can hear his voice in bits and pieces but for the most part, it's hard to believe it was the same guy. (Also King Triton in "The Little Mermaid")

Balto and Anastasia were among the first movies I saw where actors better known for their live action work were voices and I'd since followed them over to their live action work. 

Kevin Bacon, I think I'd only seen in a couple of movies, but I'm always gonna remember him fondly as the half dog/half wolf main character. 
Bob Hoskins as Boris and Phil Collins as polar bear cubs Muk and Luk, completely unrecognizable but brilliant in their roles.

Then with Anastasia, what a cast!
Meg Ryan as Anya, John Cusack as Dmitri and Kelsey Grammer as Vlad. Plus Bernadette Peters as Sophie and the late Angela Lansbury as the Grand Duchess. All of them, I'd come to know better in various live action roles, but it all started here. 
Plus my sister loves Kelsey Grammer as Sideshow Bob in "The Simpsons." 
Then Christopher Lloyd as Rasputian... between him and The Hacker in "Cyberchase," the dude makes such a good villian. 

***

For the Disney section, I'd like to acknowledge:

• Jodi Benson as Ariel. It's a role to this day she's still very proud of. I also saw on YouTube somewhere her saying how she'd used her gifts to offer comfort to children who were passing away from illness. (Also, she was PJ Sparkles in a short film... another great role)
• Robby Benson as The Beast. Another actor with a lot of range. He was also Blaze in PJ Sparkles and guest-starred on The Magic School Bus as Mr. Seedplot, Phoebe's old teacher. Reading up on him, he'd apparently had several open-heart surgeries due to a heart murmur and valve isseus and became a huge activist for heart research. Again, wow! It's hard to believe he played someone like The Beast with a reputable temper with all that going on. 
• Angela Lansbury as Mrs. Potts... she's just a treasure, that woman. It's hard to believe Jerry Orbach (Lumiere) and David Ogden Stiers (Cogsworth) have also passed in recent years
• Gilbert Gottfried (Iago, plus Digit in "Cyberchase"), Robin Williams (The Genie) and Eddie Murphy (Mushu)... all three are comedians with such iconic voices. Two of which passed away long before their time (we still have Eddie Murphy), but all three I'll always love for the laughs I've had watching their work- live action and animated. Also, all three played characters that were sidekicks that ultimately stole the show from the leads. 
• James Woods as Hades... one of the best Disney villains EVER, huge scene stealer
• Lea Salonga, who sang for Jasmine and Mulan. And also played Eponine in Les Miz on Broadway
• Liz Callaway, who sang for Anastasia, Odette in "The Swan Princess" and Kiara in Lion King II
• The entire cast of "The Emperor's New Groove"... I could spend so much time going into every one of them, but at least for me, I'll remember Eartha Kitt most fondly as baddie Yzma and Patrick Warburton (also well-known as Elaine's boyfriend Putty in "Seinfeld" and "Joe Swanson" in Family Guy) as her henchman Kronk. They're so good as a wise-cracking duo you almost forget they're the bad guys. John Goodman, I grew up with a lot of his voiceover work and Paco is another worthy notch on that belt. Then David Spade... I've seen him in several roles and every time, he makes me laugh. Kuzco is a self-absorbed brat, but he makes it work where you still want him to succeed
• of course, gotta mention Anna and Elsa themselves- Kirsten Bell and Idina Menzel- before this movie, I didn't even like Kirsten Bell that much. A lot of her roles are the same type of characters I'd seen done better by other people. Ditzy rom-com girls. Her role in "Fanboys" was another turning point. She doesn't put up with the other characters' nonsense and tries to be their moral compass, but also comes through in some instances where the guys really need her help. But those two will forever be iconic for these characters. Plus Josh Gad as Olaf... how can you not melt for that snowman?

***

Next, the realm of animé, both TV series and movies.

"Spirited Away" is my second favorite movie of all time. And the voice cast really helped me fall in love with a medium I wasn't too familiar with. 

Susan Egan was Meg in Hercules and sang my favorite song in that movie. In "Spirited Away," she played Lin, the bathhouse worker that took Chihiro under her wing. She has a lot of sarcasm but beneath that she has a big heart. Lin and Meg both have that common.

Jason Marsdan played Haku, who I easily fell in love with. Despite other characters suggesting he's not as good as he appears to be, I never doubted him for a second. And this casting choice had a lot to do with that. It's also the reason I wound up shutting off the original subbed version with Japanese voice acting moments after he appeared on screen. Haku being played by a young boy just didn't do it for me. 
He played DJ's boyfriend Nelson and it wasn't until after seeing him in this movie that I saw that character differently. Despite him being affluent and kind, he just wasn't as good with DJ as Steve was. (Scott Weiger played Aladdin so it's trippy seeing him in "Full House" and hearing Aladdin's voice come out of him)

Daveigh Chase played Lilo in "Lilo & Stitch" but also was the lead role of Chihiro/Sen. This character goes through a lot of different emotions through the course of the movie and you'd be hard presed to find anyone who could nail the role like she did.

Suzanne Pleshette- twin sisters Yubaba and Zeniba were her final roles. Curiously, she was also the villain in Lion King II, where she had a similiar relationship to another character played by Jason Marsdan. In both cases, she used his character to do her dirty work. But she's also notable for playing the two sisters with two different demeanors. She took the nod from original voice actress for giving the sisters two personalities, but instead opted to give Zeniba to the softer voice and Yubaba the more demanding one. According to the behind-the-scenes extras, the original actresseses did the opposite.In some regards, giving the meaner character the softer voice is more intimdiating than going for the obvious. 

My first introductions to the animé genre was through Pokémon. And I'm always going to look back on those times fondly. 

Meeting Veronica Taylor the one time I went to a Comic-Con was like fulfilling a childhood dream. Also the one time I met a celebrity where I didn't come off like an erractic fangirl. I only regret not thinking to bring a camera to get our picture together. She was such a sweetheart. Between that and reading some of her comments on Twitter, it's very clear that playing Ash Ketchum was one of her proudest accomplishments. I didn't ask her to do his voice for me but she also played his mom and that voice being her normal speaking voice... it was hard not to be starstruck. 

Eric Stuart played Brock and James. But he was also Seto Kaiba in Yu-Gi-Oh! Another crazy fact is that he has a music career and he'd been on the same stage with Ringo Starr. He only got to use singing chops a couple of times on Pokémon and they were usually comic relief moments involved Brock.
But his words of tribute after Yu-Gi-Oh! creator Kazuki Takahashi passed away gave me another level of respect for him. Yet another confirmation that voice actors really love their work and are grateful for their experiences. 

Dan Green playing both Yugi and the Pharaoh... that's incredible range. Two completely different demeanors, but both characters have strength of heart. 

Just gotta say again- Pokémon really hasn't been the same since the production team changed and the original voice actors were fired. 

Except Maddie Blaustein- she passed away a short time after the change took place. I'd noticed a few times over the years how her credits had changed from "Adam" to "Maddie" and, unless it was my imagination, it changed back and forth sevearl times.
I didn't find out until the time of her passing (sources suggest it was an undiagnosed stomach virus) that she was actual trans, born as Adam and later changed to Maddie. And going further, she was intersex, assigned male and later transitioned to female. 
I can't say much else except her voice for Meowth was so iconic... and whoever took over, they just aren't as good. 

***

A few honorable mentions:

E.G. Daily and Christine Cavanugh for their work on Rugrats. Elizabeth Daily recently made a cameo in "To Tell the Truth" and hearing her do Tommy's voice blew my mind.
Christine Cavanugh was Chuckie as well as Babe the pig in the 1995 film. She passed away in 2014... and it wasn't until today I found out her cause of death. For ages, it was made out to be this big mystery and it made me (and I'm sure a lot of other fans) fear it was something like suicide... according to Wikipedia, it was CML, a form of leukemia.

Melissa Disney- apparently a distant relative to Walt Disney himself- I first heard as Elora in Spyro 2. And I tuned into the Nicktoon "As told by Ginger" because she played the main role. Elora was a great character and it always made me kinda sad that a) she and Spyro were never a couple (despite them being different species) and b) she just disappears after you get 100%... but Elora makes a notable cameo in the Spyro 3 credits. 

Haley Joel Osment, I'd followed his work super close after he won my heart as Sora in "Kingdom Hearts"... but it wasn't without some pitfalls. In several of his live action roles (The Sixth Sense, A.I., etc), he always whispers his dialogue and that annoyed me so much. Then of course his voice changed so when he reprised Sora in "Kingdom Hearts II," the infatuation wasn't quite the same. Between that and the fact Sora gets a costume change because he grew so much in the past year... it was just hard for me to think of them as the same character between the two games. 
It's hard to explain, but I've always been a stickler for consistency and continuity. Like if an actor changes their hairstyle or haircolor or grows a beard from one time I see them to the next... I don't quite recognize them. 

Tim Curry- he stole hearts in movies like "Rocky Horror," "Clue," and "Home Alone 2"... but to me, he'll always be Nigel Thornberry from "The Wild Thornberries"
Smashing!

Jim Cummings- if anyone deserves a medel for most versatile voice actor, it's this guy. His range is absolutely ridiculous! He sang for the villains in "The Lion King" and "Anastasia." He took over for Winnie the Pooh after the original actor (who also did Cheshire Cat) passed away. (Then later, Tigger)
The dude has so many roles, his filmography has its own page... I'll just list a few of the other highlights and wrap this up:

• Chief Powahaten in Pocahantos
• Steele in Balto (really good bad guy!)
• Pete in various Disney cartoons, including Kingdom Hearts II
• Cat in the Nicktoon CatDog

***

That's basically it. If I need to add anything, I'll just hit the edit button and come back

Rocko's Modern Life: Part 5

The final two episodes left to discuss have one big thing in common- they feature a character voiced by Joe Murray, the series’ creator. So in a way, this final post is a tribute to him.
…just happened to work out that way. Life’s funny like that.
Whether or not his story arcs were purely fictional or had inklings of truth to him, I’m not sure. But they sure as heck were entertaining.


I have no son!


The episode begins with Rocko and Filbert watching their favorite show- Meet the Fatheads. It features two ugly warty toads that constantly yell at each other, smack each other with parking meters… you know, your typical married couple.
But as they watch the credits, they notice something VERY interesting- the series was created by Ralph Bighead.

As it turns out, Rocko’s neighbors, the Bigheads had a son and have been estranged from him for a number of years. And the Fatheads were a caricature of them.
Rocko goes next door to ask if there’s any relation cuz of the show. Ed flat out denies it, screaming “I have no son!,” and slams the door on his face. Mrs. Bighead, meanwhile, tells Rocko the truth. Ralph is their son and they hasn’t seen or heard from him since a fateful day at Conglom-O. Ed wanted him to work there with him, but Ralph decides instead to move to Hollowood to become a cartoonist. Ed has since disowned him.

Mrs. Bighead kindly asks Rocko to find Ralph and invite him to their upcoming family reunion party. So he and Filbert take a road trip to Hollowood to do just that.
Of course it’s not an easy task, but there’s so many jokes along the way. (So many)

They arrive at the gate and are greeted by a smiley face on a stick, voiced by someone clearly doing their best Mickey Mouse impression. While there to see Ralph, they’re bullied into taking the studio tour.
All kinds of crazy things happen along the way. There’s one group of animators in a room with glass windows.
Rocko points out a sign- hey Filbert, don’t tap on the glass
Filbert- oh, ok Rocko (tap tap- glass shatters and everyone stares), oh boy…

The chameleon brothers happen to be in another studio with one using a camera while the other throws papers all over the place.
Rocko- oh so that’s how they do it
Rhino holding the smiley on a stick- (normal, none Mickey Mouse voice) no, those guys are just idiots

Truer words have never been spoken!!!

Finally they reach the best part.
In the eternal words of Yogurt from Spaceballs: merchandising, merchandising!
Filbert sees the stand, says “Toys” and goes into full nerd mode, wanting to buy everything in sight. The spree almost ends prematurely when he spots something expensive but decides “what the hay”… Rhino/smiley guy goes from sad face to cha-ching happy

Rocko then notices Ralph go by with his posse of yes men and pulls Filbert away. Rhino guy announces their total (some obscene number) but notices a little too late they’ve gone.

The two of them sneak into Ralph’s office with the yes men… who are promptly all fired on the spot.
Rocko essentially fails to get Ralph to agree to come and he goes on an epic rant of how he NEVER wants to see the two of them again. (Fun fact I just read: when Joe Murray had to actually audition to get this role, the other producers had him scream "Never!" multiple times because he usually wasn't the type of guy who screamed).

Part one ends with Filbert knocking on the door after they get thrown out.
Filbert- say cheese
Ralph- (one hand on the door) Cheese…
Photo only captures a closed door
Filbert- oh, fish sticks…

In part two, Rocko tries to tell Mrs. Bighead at the reunion he failed but isn’t able due to the fact he keeps getting thrown into crazy situations by some of the other Bigheads.
Ralph eventually shows up, telling an irate Ed Bighead “a little beaver guy came to Hollowood and said that you wanted me here.”
Ed tells him to get lost but before he leaves, he leaves half a donut on the table. This gets Ed’s attention immediately.
He calls him over, thrilled to pieces, “you kept it, you really do care about Conglom-O.”
“I didn’t keep it because I care about Conglom-O… because I care about you.”

Supposedly the donut is part of a sacred tradition in the Bighead family. When a father welcomes a son into the company, they break apart a donut as a way of dealing the deal.
Even all these years later, both of them kept their half of the donut.

Meanwhile, poor Rocko not only becomes a piñata but Ralph creates a character based on him in the Fatheads. An ugly looking beaver Mrs. Fathead calls “our disgusting neighbor Rollo.”
Filbert and the Bigheads are all at his house watching it with him but he’s the only one not laughing.

Cut to Heffer (who’d missed everything this entire episode) in the final scene- HEY!… I don’t get it.
He does get to leave his mark on Ralph Bighead’s follow up appearance and it’s not one to miss

Wacky Delly


Along with spring cleaning, probably the most well known episode of this series.

It begins with the finale of the Fatheads. This is something Ralph Bighead had wanted to see to completion for a LONG time. Making that cartoon has become soul crushing for him and he couldn’t wait to get started on his passion project.
Unfortunately he’s thrown into a pitfall a lot of people in the entertainment business have experienced. A little something called “fulfilling a contract.” The studio execs demand that he made one more cartoon series before he can move on.

He inevitably complains about this to his family with Rocko and his friends within earshot. Heffer’s like “how hard can that be?” And he does an impromptu puppet show with deli meats.
Slant-eyed, Filbert balks at how stupid that idea is. In fact, it’s so bad that it’ll get Ralph thrown out of his contract.
This, of course, is music to Ralph’s ears and he hires all three of them to make the cartoon for him. He gives them free range of his studio and a massive instruction manual “7,291 steps to making a cartoon.”

I won’t go through every step but there’s plenty of behind the scenes shenanigans as they’re finalizing characters and storyboards. Heffer and Filbert are constantly arguing over minute details and Rocko does his best to keep things moving on schedule.
The three characters are Sal-ami (heffer), Betty Bologna (Rocko) and Mr. Cheese (filbert).
One storyboard scene is super hilarious cuz all the tension gets to Rocko and we clearly see it on his face. They try to figure out if certain lines go to salami or cheese (or Cheese…) or if there’s a phone or doorbell before the “I hate bologna!” Line.
The best part of this scene.


Heffer- Hmm… I was thinking
Rocko- (irate, slowly turns around) Yes???!!
Heffer- (long pause). . . Do we really need the cheese at all?


Of course this leads to another fight, but that has to be the funniest dramatic pause ever.


The resulting cartoon is pure chaos. Just one unchanging background with the characters running all over the place almost on a loop.
Filbert has one line that’s completely deadpan… probably the only line that matters: “I am the cheese. I am the best character on this show. Better than the salami and bologna combined.”

To Ralph’s utter horror, the execs and the audience LOVE the show. (I mean, we all saw that coming, right?). So He spends the other half of the half hour doing everything he can to sabotage it… the only other cartoon character with more failed attempts at anything was Wile E. Coyote. Some of these include an entire segment focused on an idle jar of mayo and a black screen cuz he inadvertently exposed the film… and the audience can’t get enough. They love it so much he gets mobbed on his way to work and they literally steal the shirt off his back as well as parts from his car. 
In the end, what ultimately kills the show is when he animated it himself and tries to make an artistic statement. Within seconds of his nutcracker segment, the series is cancelled.

Fast forward years later, he finally completes his still life masterpiece somewhere in the southwest.
Some random hillbilly dude comes up to him and says “hey, that’s not bad. But have you ever seen wacky delly? The first season, that is, before that new guy came in and ruined it.”

Ouch…

I think I read somewhere that that was a reference to the downfall of Ren and Stimpy. But a lot of hit shows have suffered similar fates.


One of those shows is SpongeBob… we lost its creator Stephen Hillenberg a while ago but after he walked away from it a few years before that, many people say it hasn’t been the same.
——

It’d be a natural segue, considering he took over for Joe Murray in Rocko’s final season and took a bunch of the voice actors with him to SpongeBob. But there’s at least one other series I want to call attention to first.
It’s short lived, under appreciated… and I remember so little of it that it’ll only take one post to cover the basics.

Rocko's Modern Life- Part 4

Gonna do a bunch more here and save the final two episodes for another post. Both of them have something special in common.

For now, a couple of my all-time favorites as well as one of the best known episodes... even for casual fans of the series.

Wimp on the Barby

From the first time this segment aired, it became one of my favorites in the entire series. It’s a huge character arc for Rocko and also gives some interesting back story on him.

He gets a call from his parents saying that someone named Dingo is coming to visit him. Through flashbacks, we discover that Dingo was Rocko’s schoolyard bully who made his life so miserable and frightening that he moved all the way to America to get away from him.
His friends convince him he needs to face his fears head on and learn how to defend himself. A training montage follows and by the end of it, Rocko is absolutely ready to take him on.
The music that plays when Rocko goes to answer the door- it’s super dramatic and I’ve always loved it
But then something unexpected happens. Dingo has since found religion. He now goes by Foffy No-No and once he gets forgiveness he can become one with the unicorn. (There’s an actual unicorn in a car waiting for him in the street)
To make amends, he offers a bunch of random stuff like a blender, bacon in a box “and that’s not all, here’s 5 bucks” and he only asks for Rocko to punch him in the nose in exchange
Rocko confesses he’d been afraid of him his whole life and was prepared to stand up to him. He’s also learned that violence only makes things worse and doesn’t want to punch him.

“Please, friend Rocko…”
“Ok!”
And he does it.

But as he explains himself to Spunky, Dingo winds up getting jumped by Heffer and Filbert and the unicorn ditches him and leaves him to get what’s coming to him

Yarnbenders

This segment is one my sister and I still quote to this day. The self-aware writing and the jokes are a huge highlight of the entire series.
It begins where Rocko accidentally leaves Filbert (while he’s flipped over on his back) outside the rain, resulting him catching a cold. At first to make him feel better, Heffer suggests they put on the tv. Filbert comments how “my mother always used to read to me when I was sick.” Heffer’s comeback is so hilarious that we’ll say it anytime a situation calls for it. “Read? Are you nuts? Nobody reads anymore.”
Usually we say this to make fun of other people who devalue reading… we still love books in our house, my mom especially

Rocko dusts off The Really Really Big Book of Fairytales. The first story screeches to a halt because Filbert realizes it’s the one with porridge and porridge makes him nauseous.
Next, Rocko starts reading another one, “Once upon a time, there were two children in the woods. One was named Hansel and the other was…”
Heffer interjects “Debbie!”
Filbert’s interest is immediately piqued cuz he’d never heard that one before…

Believe me, nobody’s heard a fairytale quite like this one before. Rocko reads from the book and Heffer keeps adding random comments, almost like they’re playing mad libs. The two characters reach the witch’s house and go back and forth about whether it’s made of healthy snacks or pizza… Filbert settles the argument quickly, suggesting “you’re both wrong, the house is made of fish sticks.”
As the story continues forward, several other fairytales get through into the mix and the results are so good… trust me, you owe it to yourself to see it.

At one point the witch says after their captives escape, “I was gonna make espresso.” Was this a reference to Young Frankenstein? If so, the writers have really good taste.


Zanzibar!


This is one of those classic cartoon episodes EVERYONE remembers, even people that didn’t regularly watch Rocko… not only is it one of those classic 90's attempts to make people more environmentally conscious… it’s a musical! Lots of catchy tunes and random bursting into song. Anyone not a fan of this… consider yourself warned

Rocko wakes up to find everyone in O-Town singing about how it’s spring cleaning time. He’s as confused as we are, not knowing how it all came about. According to Heffer, they held rehearsals every Thursday so they all know the words. He also discovers that there’s going to be multiple songs.
Everyone heads to the dump to unload their trash and discover that it’s filled to capacity. Mr. Bighead is irate about the holdup and says there’s plenty of room “over there”- pointing to a pristine park nearby. Rocko stands up to him saying you can’t just throw your trash anywhere and how you need to take care of the environment.
We then get introduced to Captain Compost Heap who suggests a number of solutions to their predicament… in possibly the most catchy song ever written. I only remember the chorus...

In addition to recycling, he talks about chlorofluorocarbons eating the ozone layer and how deforestation will lead to less oxygen for us to breathe. We get to the end and Rocko sums it all up perfectly, “what a sappy song…”


Everyone bands together to do their part but soon discover one entity isn’t… the corporation known as Conglom-O. Rocko asks why everyone is so quick to give up after this. According to multiple people, they own everything. They even own city hall… “and you know what that means.”
Rocko guesses correctly when he groans to Heffer, “it’s gonna be another song, isn’t it?”
Sad but true- “you can’t fight city hall,” but as music continues to play in the background, Rocko inspires everyone to come with him to Conglom-O.

The next several minutes involve Rocko trying to convince the doorman to let them in. All while everyone else echoes his comments in song.
At one point, the doorman asks “how do you know the words?”
Heffer- “oh boy, he’s got you now, Rock.”
Rocko- “well, I don’t know the words.”
Unruly mob (in song)- “he doesn’t know the words…” Rocko (screams)- “shut up!!”
Doorman- “sorry I can’t let you in without an appointment.”
Rocko- “oh…”
Unruly mob (in song)- “I guess we’ll all go home.” And they leave him to fend for himself.

Rocko comes up the perfect comeback about how "our business keeps your business going" and the doorman finally lets him in: “ok, whatever…”
He speaks to the board of directors but has a little difficulty getting his point across. He hesitantly starts into one of the songs and one of the guys whispers to another “why is he spelling?”
Out of nowhere, the unruly mob busts into the boardroom and sings the full song. The boss finally agrees with a soft “ok…” Rocko gets carried out on the shoulders of the mob and they rejoice about how Rocko fought city hall
Ironically, Mr. Bighead is the head of the environmental department and has to close off the cooling stacks, stop the waste runoff into the rivers and last but not least, he needs to recycle
The entire neighborhood shows up the next day to thank him, but he wants none of it. He hated being forced into doing what he did and spouts his own song about not having the patience to recycle and it ends up him getting zapped by UV rays thanks to a hole in the ozone that coincidentally opens over his head.

Between this, Fern Gully and Captain Planet, they were REALLY into the environmental anti pollution thing in the 90s. In todays world, I think things have gotten way out of hand. For me, recycling and not littering is more than enough. Plus I have a yeti water bottle so I don’t use as many plastic bottles as I used to. Anything more than that is too expensive or simply asks way too much.

High Five of Doom


Talk about your imagination running away with you…

Filbert is seen earlier in the segment writing in a notebook. Heffer wants to see what he’s writing but Filbert refuses, stating it’s his private journal. It just so happens that Rocko comes across it when Filbert loses it. He vows to keep it safe and not infringe on Filbert’s privacy despite Heffer pestering him about it.
As you can imagine, curiosity does get the best of him. But he tries to be sneaky about it. He vacuums his living room and lifts up the table slightly so the book falls off the table.
“Oh dear, Filbert’s journal fell off the coffee table… and it didn’t open… thank goodness…” Don’t know why but I find his sarcasm here hilarious.
Just as Rocko is about to read one page, Heffer busts in and begs on his knees to see it. “I can’t sleep, I can’t think, I can’t even eat…” his stomach gurgles, “ok… I can eat.”
Rocko relents, suggesting “if I read just one page, will you be satisfied?” We all kinda know they won’t be able to stop at just one page.

Filbert’s writing isn’t just gripping, it becomes a little unsettling after a bit. It says he’s part of an alien race bent on world domination and their master plan is blowing people up by giving them high fives. The two of them do some recon and see filbert doing some of the things he mentioned in the book, like putting mustard under his arm pits. They also see him with antennae coming out of his head.
The next page is especially frightening and drives the rest of the story arc home. It says that he’s discovered that the two of them are onto his plans and must destroyed. Filbert shows up at that moment and they proceed to block the front door with every piece of furniture in the house… neglecting to lock the back door.
Filbert is overjoyed to find that rocko had his journal and suggests a high five. Of course Rocko and Heffer panic and everything comes out. Filbert laughs saying it’s not a real journal and snorts “I’m not an alien.” They ask him about the odd behavior they witnessed and he easily explains them. Like how putting the tv antenna on his head gives him good reception anywhere and “why spend money on cologne when mustard is free?”
The rest… you’ll have to see and find out for yourself cuz it’s kinda open for interpretation

Dear John


Another series classic we still quote to this day.

A random government satellite falls through Rocko’s roof, destroying his kitchen. As one might expect, not only does the government refuse to compensate him, they explicitly deny anything happened at all. His insurance agent happens to be a hyena and naturally laughs at the matter, unable to do anything to help. This puts Rocko in a bind because he’s holding a party soon and needs to find a solution fast.

He and Heffer go to the local home and garden expo for other ideas. One is playing a game show to win a kitchen. Rocko wins easily but what they don’t tell him is that he has to keep winning games in order to find the entire kitchen. His prize for winning the first game is a spoon… so yeah, he’s got no time. The two of them come away with a do it yourself book on kitchens and bathrooms and proceed to do just that… except they accidentally turned the kitchen into a bathroom
He ultimately hires tv personality Bob "Bucky" Taylor (gee, I wonder who he’s based off of) to do the job for them. What happens is easily one of the best joke in the entire series.


"My living room, it's a bathroom. My closet is a bathroom. My basement is a bathroom! My ballroom is a bathroom!! EVEN MY BATHROOM IS A BATHROOM! Well, I guess that's okay..."

Rocko then finds the perfect solution: making the party a tribute to bathrooms with all the guests wearing towels. Filbert asks for the little turtle’s room but is having trouble cuz people are in all the rooms. Rocko suggests the garage and it winds up being the perfect solution

An Elk for Heffer

Filbert’s rite into adulthood was returning to his birthplace: Kerplopacos island. Anything he fights cuz he doesn’t want to become an adult but nature has other plans. For Heffer, things are slightly more complicated.

Because Heffer’s family are wolves, his dad is part of an important council. According to their laws, whether he’s a wolf or not, Heffer has to bring an elk home for dinner in order to be inducted into the pack as an adult.
He accepts the task, but it’s not explained to him very well… he asks Rocko when he can find an elk and he suggests the local elks' club.
After putting on fake antlers in order to get in, he meets Elkie… and they fall madly in love.

One mushy montage later, he asks her to dinner with his family.

This is where things go off the rails. Elkie gets over the initial shock that his family are wolves. Meanwhile, his parents have a classic conversation
George mutters under his breath, “Honey, she’s still alive.” And Virginia says that they’re lucky he got her there at all.
Next, Elkie is shocked to discover Heffer isn’t an elk… he’d had the “antlers” on as long as they’ve been dating. In response to her remarks, his dad counters with, “what, he’s not good enough for you or something? He’s not a wolf but we love him anyway.”
That’s when Virginia makes a comment about getting Elkie into the oven. Heffer is completely blindsided and she has the best response, “I ain’t getting in any oven!”
Heffer sees her out, apologizing but she decides they can’t be together because they’re different species
His dad commends him for standing up for himself and comes up with a good backup plan. A secret only known to them, their elk dinner is vegetarian elk substitute

Rocko's Modern Life: Part 3

Wallaby on Wheels

Rocko spends a good amount of the series harboring feelings for his next door neighbor, Melba Toast (I actually didn’t find out until years later that that’s the name of a food, haha). But after finding out she has a boyfriend, Rocko is heartbroken and makes other attempts at finding love. I think on the same episode he learns the truth, Heffer signs him up for a dating show… only for them to win a date with each other because the producers needed Heffer to fill in the third slot…
Anyway, this segment has another instance where Rocko falls in love and has a decent chance at getting the girl’s attention. Unfortunately, he gets himself in a precarious situation because he wants to impress her.
He first sees Sheila (yeah I know, they had to find an excuse for Rocko, an Australian, to call a girl Sheila because, according to the Wild Thornberries that's what Aussies call girls) at the comic book store. Heffer knows her from the roller rink (one of many random hobbies he has) and offers to introduce Rocko to her. 
I know roller rinks came into prominence around the time of Xanadu and earlier… but in the 90's it was such a huge thing that every kid had at least one birthday party there. I was never terribly good at skating, although I was decent on roller blades in gym class.

Rocko is very uncoordinated on skates and he’s nervous Sheila won’t like him if she finds that out. Adding insult to injury, Heffer is kind of a big deal at the rink and does a solo performance that wows everyone. In order to compensate for his inadequacy, Rocko wants to one-up him by doing the obstacle course. Easier said than done and Heffer has to save him when he careens out of control into town… but then the tables turn and Rocko has to save Heffer right back. This time he gets to impress Sheila with something he’s really good at- jackhammering.

And Sheila is never seen again... too bad cuz she was pretty cool. 

Eyes Capades

Rocko is taking part in a major jackhammer competition, but while training for the event, he discovers that he needs glasses. And with jackhammering being what it is, it creates a series of problems…
Honestly, this plot line feels very random and it’s never brought up again. I just found it strange that he passes his eye exam on the way to get his license in “Skid Marks” and now that he has to compete, they’re suddenly in bad shape?
There comes a point where things look hopeless and he might not be able to compete at all. But then we see him the next day at the main event and he does an incredible job. Heffer asks how he did without his glasses and Rocko simply says “I didn’t”… he went back to the optometrist and got contacts. Why they didn’t start there, I don't know, but it makes a good story about overcoming adversity
There’s also a funny moment where a famous jackhammer dude congratulates him and says he’s got contacts too. Then off the field, he wears glasses and says how they make him look intellectual. Some random person comes up to him and says “excuse me, are you an intellectual?” 

“See what I mean. Why yes, yes I am” (don’t know why I found that funny. It’s just a random moment I completely forgot about until just now)
And just like that, Rocko’s eyes or contacts are just mentioned again… but that’s fine 

The Emperor's New Joe

The new hot spot in O-Town is a new coffee shop run by the chameleon brothers. It's one of those groovy clubs with poetry readings and patrons snap their fingers instead of applauding.

Their new trend is coffee. However, when Rocko has a cup, he has a very strong reaction to it. “This isn’t coffee!” To avert any major fallout, Chuck and Leon take Rocko into the back room to explain the history of their coffee.
The story takes place in their old country of Balzack that was run by an emperor (who looks oddly similiar to Heffer) obsessed with being trendy, no matter how ridiculous. But when he wants coffee, the brothers try to explain there is none in their country. This lands them in jail until they get some. In actuality their coffee is grimy water a fellow prisoner (who looks oddly like Filbert) used to wash his socks. Then a short time later, the two of them ran off to America to make a new life for themselves.
Despite being moved by their story, Rocko gets on soap box to say America isn’t run by a czar and everyone has freedom to do as they choose. It’s a pretty epic speech (the most patriotic I’d heard on any Nick show)… but he gets thrown out anyway
“Ok ok, you don’t have to drink the coffee! Come back tomorrow and try the cheesecake.” As soon as they close the door behind them, a patron yells, “hey, this isn’t cheesecake!” and the cycle starts all over again. 

Every now and then, we still say that line about cheesecake to this day, haha

Camera Shy

Rocko rents a video camera from the chameleon brothers. With the aid of Heffer and Filbert, he wants to record something to send to his parents back in Australia. Just to show them his life and that he’s doing well. Naturally it’s not quite that simple and all kinds of miscues and shenanigans happen along the way
The most memorable of these- Rocko calls it a night but Heffer and Filbert still have the camera. So the two of them decide to play a little joke- Rocko apparently comes downstairs at the same time every night and drinks milk straight out of the carton. To top it all off, he’s in the nude
Next day, they return the camera and the footage. But knowing the chameleons, you know you’re not getting exactly what you asked for. Rocko comes into their coffee shop, shocked at the nude footage (complete with censor bar, lol) and the fact they made an artsy independent film out of it. Even worse, the film sold out so the three of them need to get back every single copy. As they’re erasing them, Rocko is horrified to discover his parents saw the film at the Australian film festival. But they send him a letter saying they loved it and they asked him to autograph some censor bars for their friends.The film also won first prize at the film festival.