Thursday, July 25, 2024

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004)



Before I reached high school age, my perception of high school was essentially shaped by the John Hughes experience that was from the 80s. Or more specifically Ferris Bueller and the Breakfast Club. To this day, both remain among my favorite movies of all time with The Breakfast Club reigning at the top.

I was told for years that high school would be the best years of my life and the John Hughes movies helped bolster those expectations.
I’m still frustrated that those expectations were not met. Not that I wish I’d had the typical teenage rebellion streak- but I expected to at least have my first boyfriend and have a special friend clique. Neither of which materialized because I was too shy to put myself out there. I at least got that friend experience in my last 3 semesters of college, thanks to the fact I wasn’t the one who had to make the first move. But I still wish my high school years had more positive memories and fewer regrets and less stress about my grades.

Fast forward to the early 2000s- the high school movies that came out when I was actually high school age were Disney movies. And a few notable ones starred Lindsay Lohan.
We only have 27 days difference in age so I looked up to her a lot. Enough to get highlights to emulate her Freaky Friday look but not enough to bring life to that old saying… you know the one where you’re asked “if they jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?” Even with all of her missteps that made a fortune for the tabloid industry (damn vultures…), I never stopped being a fan. With recent news of a Freaky Friday sequel coming next year (her and Jamie Lee Curtis both returning), hopefully those days of being a punchline are finally in the rear view mirror.

Every part of her high school movie trifecta is awesome but “Confessions” is my personal favorite.
Critics like Roger Ebert were exceedingly harsh with it. I think I saw a grade as low as a D in our local paper. I’d already made up my mind to see it and that wasn’t going to stop me.
I wish I could be objective enough so I could say what a more accurate rating would be, but I’m just not. I am however honest enough with myself to admit this movie isn’t realistic.
But come on, it’s a Disney movie. Disney is all about fantasy and wish fulfillment. So as far as I’m concerned, the lack of realism in this movie gets a pass.

For me, this movie stands out more than any other movie that came out while I was in high school for one big reason. If I was still keeping a regular journal during that time of my life, various elements of this movie could’ve been ripped out of its pages.

The biggest difference was that I was more like Ella than Lola. I always followed the rules and never did anything if I knew it would be met with disapproval from my parents. For better or worse, I’m still very much like that. Having a friend like Lola would have me at odds with that part of myself but I’d still love to have a friend like her. Someone who gives me courage to do things I didn’t think I was capable of… within reason.

Lola moves to Dellwood New Jersey from New York City, a decision she’s not happy with because it means leaving the home of Broadway and she wants to be an actress. 

The way she's dressed during the opening scene is a callback to "Breakfast at Tiffany's," something I didn't pick up on until I saw that movie for the first time a few years ago.




But once she accepts her new surroundings, she approaches it as a new opportunity to which she can bring her own script. (Paraphrasing a quote from her).
She hits it off with Ella through their mutual love of her favorite band. And when the school play is announced, she aims to use it as a platform to launch her budding acting career.
The premise is simple enough and ordinary at first glance. But as the plot unfolds, it becomes so much more than that.

Going back to when I said this movie had some diaristic context… the school play is a hip and modern adaptation of Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw. Our school musical that year was My Fair Lady. While I didn’t get a role, I participated as part of the company. Junior year was probably my most stressful between my grades and SAT scores but that winter gave me some of the best memories of my life. And it was mostly from watching these mega talented actors rehearse from what felt like front row seating. Oklahoma the year before had its highlights- particularly the over-the-top performance of Ali Hakeem from the 3 night cast- but this year felt extra special.
The movie may not have shown more than 10 minutes of “Eliza Rocks” between Lola’s audition, rehearsals and opening night but having that connection was a huge selling point.

The movie came out February 2004- we had just wrapped up production of "My Fair Lady" a couple weeks beforehand. So yeah, no wonder I was so floored by a reference to it being center stage in this movie.
Also, Carol Kane as Ms. Baggoli is such a fun teacher. I love how she dives headfirst into this role and makes it as zany and over the top as she does.

But the biggest selling point was how Lola’s favorite band Sidarthur and its leading man Stu Wolf fit into the story. She has all kinds of cool memorabilia, manufactured and homemade, to express her fandom of them. But one huge plot point that’s dropped on her is the announcement that the band is breaking up. I watched that scene and had immediate flashbacks to when my favorite boy band Dream Street broke up two years earlier. So between that and the play, I was like “omg, this is my life” and I was fully invested.

So after the big breakup, Lola hears from the school’s Queen bee, Carla (the role that introduced a lot of us to Megan Fox) that there’s going to be a farewell concert and afterparty in New York.

So lucky! Dream Street was broken up by a lawsuit between their parents’ and management so I didn’t even get a chance of a farewell concert. Their final hurrah was a low budget movie where only Chris had a major role- now that movie was about blatant wish fulfillment but I still loved having it as one final memento from that time in my life.

Naturally, Lola has to make it back to New York by any means necessary and Ella is along for a ride despite some mild hesitation.
One of her “clever” schemes is to stage a hunger strike like Gandhi until her mom lets her go. By today’s standards, this scene would most likely be considered to be culturally insensitive and there’d be petitions calling for its removal. But at the time, I was excited that it was just a reference I understood. In my English class we had a unit about transcendentalism and civil disobedience, which culminated in watching the Ben Kingsley movie in class. I’m pretty sure we didn’t watch all of it but certainly enough for me to be familiar with it. Also I wasn’t the type of person who was really up to date on current events or the news in general so any time I see something historical that I have enough context to understand it- that’s a big deal.

The hunger strike doesn’t work and it’s also revealed to be a complete farce. So the backup plan is a teenage classic- staging a sleepover, telling the parents it’s at the other person’s house and going behind their backs to go to the concert. Ella has a panic attack over the idea of lying to her parents so Lola breaks down and tells her mom the truth. Ella’s parents (who are going into the city that weekend anyway) agree to Lola’s terms (meeting them at the train station and waiting at their hotel for their return) and everything is set.
Except for one thing… they go to get tickets and they’re sold out.

The whole New York City story arc is pretty much when reality is thrown out the window. Let’s just say there is no way my parents would trust me to walk around that place on my own at that age. We’d get as far as the concert and we’d go straight back to the hotel afterwards. The craziest and probably most dangerous about this whole adventure- this isn’t a boy band they were pursuing. These were certified rock stars that were likely twice their age if not more.
And as we quickly learn, Lola’s favorite tortured poet is an alcoholic. It’s a miracle the worst that happened to them was getting grounded.

The whole night begins as a comedy of errors. As previously stated, they didn’t get tickets so scalpers were the next option. Lola accidentally left the money on the train so they miss the concert and travel SEVERAL blocks to find the after party… in the pouring rain. At least we get a kick ass soundtrack to accompany them.

A lot of the soundtrack is really good but there’s some omissions. One was “Up up up” by Rose Falcon during the pouring rain scene. Also I feel like there should’ve been a full version of “Don’t move on” as heard in the end credits. We just get Lola’s audition version in a medley with two of the musical’s songs (“livin for the city” by Stevie wonder, and “changes” by David Bowie).
But “Up, Up, Up” and “1,2,3” (by Nikki Cleary) were staples on radio Disney during that time.

So they’re stopped at the door and can’t get into the after party. They do however run into Stu Wolf when he stumbles out drunk and they spend the night with him. With a lot of ups and downs but thankfully after the scene at the police station it’s all uphill.
They’d taken Stu to a diner in hopes of sobering him up and he causes a bit of public disturbance.. because he didn’t get his “deluxe hamburger platter with a side of onion rings”. Which he orders with a drunken Aussie accent. To this day whenever I order onion rings in a restaurant, I think of this scene.

The police station also throws in a wrench that nearly breaks up the Lola and Ella dream team… Lola’s dad comes down to help sort out the situation, the same dad she spent an elaborate fantasy sequence explaining how he died in a motorcycle accident.

Honest to god, I was so naive when I saw this at age 17 I completely fell for that fantasy sequence hook line and sinker. Didn’t even occur to me “this is so over the top it has to be a complete lie”.I don’t think I figured it out until New York actually. 

There’s a scene before the party and after the rain where there’s a man and his dog following them and Lola has a private word about working on his stealth cuz he’s scaring Ella. And I’m sure I had one of those “hey, wait a minute…” moments and I just went along with it. It certainly wasn’t a deal breaker like it was for Ella.

Lola defended her lie saying she did it to protect her mom from Ella’s judgmental parents who were skeptical of her having 3 kids (Lola and her younger twin sisters) and no husband. It’s kinda interesting she felt so strongly about this that she had to overcompensate. She and her mom butt heads throughout the movie but deep down she still cares about her a lot.
Ella’s reaction to Lola exaggerating was extremely skeptical. “Exaggerating a little is saying you’re a little taller” and what she did essentially crossed a line.

Lola’s dream was to discuss Stu’s poetry with him, which she unfortunately doesn’t get to do because he’s too drunk to hold a conversation with her.
I’ve only seen Adam Garcia in one other movie and his character in Coyote Ugly couldn’t be any more different from Stu. He’s not just sober and a nicer guy but he’s actually really good looking. The hair and makeup people did a really good job giving him that drunken rock star look.

Looked him up- born in 1973 so he's 13 years older than us.. Still enough of an age gap where Lola still probably should've had more adult supervision while hanging around him.


The third act of the movie is essentially the falling action after the climax. Despite the fact they saw each other at the party, Carla has the entire school convinced that Lola lied about being there. And the lie about her dad being dead also came back to bite her. The song that acts as the emotional compass for this part of the story is an acoustic version of “Perfect” by Simple Plan. I don’t think I’d ever heard the original but this song later became part of the soundtrack of my life that year. Literally- it was back from burning CDs was on trend.

Lola’s depression is so bad dealing with all this that she almost skips out on the play. Thankfully Ella comes by her house to give her a much needed reality check and it’s the kick in the pants she needs.
It’s just a shame the actual play is so short. We get bits and pieces of Eliza’s transformation from New York checkout girl to the glamorous life. I recognized a few references from doing My Fair Lady in school but with all this build up, I could’ve used another 10 minutes. The final song “That girl” picked up a lot of the slack. Funny enough, my clearest memory of it was hearing it on radio Disney while my mom was taking me to the site of my 2nd SAT test. True story. I heard it a bunch on that station but that instance sticks out in my memory the most.

Lola gets the ultimate of happy endings in the end and it still puts the biggest smile on my face. Stu Wolf shows up at the after party of the musical to return Lola’s signature coke bottle cap necklace, which she’d left at his party. Everyone finds out that she was right and Carla was wrong. And yeah, Stu cleans up pretty good when he’s sober so Lola’s dream conversation may not be as far away as we once thought.

...I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Lola and Ella's other friend Sam. His biggest contribution to the plot was helping her sneak out Eliza's dress from the drama room so she can wear it to the concert. But it's a rare thing in one of these teen movies where a boyfriend or romance isn't a major part of character development or a story arc. Other than the very end where she says something to the effect of "now that my career is launched, maybe I can have a boyfriend".
Eli Marienthal was also in the Disney movie, The Country Bears, where he played Haley Joel Osment's brother and wasn't quite as nice as Sam.

Alison Pill who played Ella probably had the most success of the younger actors. Her characters in "Scott Pilgrim" and "Midnight in Paris" couldn't be anymore different.

...I could keep going but it's probably best to end my novel review. This movie clearly isn't for everybody but for me, I still feel like it came out at the perfect time. Otherwise I don't think I would've responded to it as positively as I have. And still do.

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