Theatrical Review: A Minecraft Movie

Date: Saturday, April 5 2025
Location: Stroud Mall cinemark
Time: 12pm (12:26 after the trailers)
Party: 3 (my sister, mom and I)

Review

Something I was feeling while sitting through the trailers leading up to this movie- new movies aren’t as fun as they used to be. They’re all big budget action movies, unnecessary sequels and live action remakes nobody asked for. There’s just not as much incentive to go to the movies as there used to be…
Then the main movie started and all of that cynicism essentially flew out the window. “Minecraft” isn’t the best movie ever and it isn’t necessarily groundbreaking in any way.
But it had one big thing going for it- it was FUN

My sister and I have gone out to see a bunch of these video games adaptations at the movies. All have been great even when all we know about them going in is from pop culture or we’d seen let’s plays on YouTube by our favorite content creators.
This might be the first time we’re going into one of these movies with absolutely no context.
The rest of the people in the theater more than picked up the slack. I’d venture to say that this is the liveliest theater we’d been in in a long time… and it was awesome. THIS is what movie theaters are all about.

The story begins with Steve (Jack Black) and his lifelong fascination with the mines. It’s only when he becomes an adult and he’d had enough of his deadend office job he’s able to go and explore. He goes into the actual Minecraft world and gets to create the life he’d always wanted— literally.

Minecraft is what a lot of gamers refer to as a “sandbox game” where you have the freedom to make whatever world you want. Life simulation games like animal crossing and stardew valley (I’ve put hundreds of hours into playing both of these) do the same thing but Minecraft was one of the first games to do this.
After a montage of mechanics that people who’d actually played this game would recognize, Steve is captured by the denizens of the Nether (it’s sort of a take on hell complete with fire and brimstone) and he has his pet wolf Dennis hide the power cube to keep the pigs from using it to take over the overworld.
Both this game and Angry Birds cast pigs as the villains for some reason. But after recently reading animal farm, I may have an idea why…

Fast forward- the rest of the main characters are introduced.
Jason Momoa plays Garett, whose one accomplishment that he’ll never stop bragging about is the fact he won a fighting game in a national championship. His nickname is “the garbage man” because of his signature move in the game. Sadly he’d recently fallen on hard times financially and he’s about to lose his vintage video game store.
Henry and his sister Natalie are moving to Cutlass Idaho to start a new life after their mom died. Their realtor, Dawn (who has a traveling petting zoo as a side hustle) is the first friend they make in a new town. Both siblings have their first days (Henry at school and Natalie at her new job) and they both run into problems.
Henry’s art teacher made me think of a line from another Jack Black movie- “those who can’t teach, teach gym.” I figure this dude is one step away from being relegated to that position. He gives an assignment to do a still life and gives Henry grief for being “too creative” with his assignment and the other kids bully him as a result.
Then his attempt to prove everyone wrong by actually designing a jet pack that works… it not only goes awry but it directly impacts his sister’s new job.
I’d ask “what are the odds?” but this is a movie and it takes place in a small town so I’d have to say- very good.

Luckily Henry had met Garett on the way to school so he not only gets him to pose as an uncle to take him home from school but he gets to hang out in his store.
While there, he comes across the cube, one of several things Garett won in a storage unit auction (basically all the stuff from Steve’s bedroom because he’d been gone for a long time). Before Garett can fully read the accompanying warning (written by Steve) about not putting the blue cube and the earth cube together, both of them get dragged into the mine.
Natalie and Dawn follow them there and get dragged in themselves. Before they get too enamored by the look of the place or have a chance to return home through the portal, night falls and they have to fight off the skeletons and zombies that come out after dark. Henry does his first ever build with a pretty decent tower that holds them off for a while but Steve arrives to save them before it’s too late. Although he did have a little help with the sun coming back up but whatever…

The moment he introduces himself… clearly this is a line from the game because in perfect unison, nearly everyone else in the theater said “I am Steve” alongside him.
Seriously, it was a cool moment- you had to be there.


As they travel together, Steve gives them a lowdown on the bad guys and a tutorial on crafting mechanics.
The leader of the pigs ascended to her position in a similar fashion to some notable bad guys from our own history… her talent was not appreciated by her peers so her only other option is to ruin creativity for everyone else. And since the pigs turn to stone when they go into the overworld, she wants to use the cube to cast eternal night so they can roam and pillage freely.
Since the earth cube got destroyed during the melee with the zombies, the heroes’ objective is to go on a journey in order to obtain a new one. Garett is also on a personal quest for diamonds in order to pay back all his debts.

There’s also a side story we go back to throughout the movie involving the vice principal (played by Jennifer Coolidge) and one of the pacifist villagers who comes into the real world through the portal when the heroes get sucked into his world. And surprisingly they hit it off.
I can only guess her newfound popularity from being in the white lotus series was behind this casting choice. But also, Jack Black and Mike White (the White Lotus creator) did school of rock together so that connection probably helped as well. Either way, it was a fun little thing to sprinkle it through the movie.

We may not have had an inkling of what we were getting with this movie but we’d seen enough Jack Black movies and know his humor well enough to know we were bound to have a good time.
Naturally this includes a few random songs he made up on the spot- none as good as “Peaches” or the school of rock stuff but Jack Black through and through.
We hadn’t seen much of Jason Momoa except some of his DC stuff and the commercials he’s in. He’s very hammy and over the top (as any dude stuck in his glory days from the 80s would be) but he makes it work. The chemistry of the whole main cast is really good.
Dennis the wolf takes a while to come back into the story. He’s great as well but I’m always a sucker for a good wolf character. Particularly when a wolf isn’t cast as the villain in a cartoon— that’s one cliche I’d love to do away with entirely.

Another reference the audience got really excited over despite it being in a bunch of the trailers- when the chicken jockey showed up in the boxing ring.
The experience of watching this movie- my mom would probably say that’s the way she feels when she watches other nerdy stuff with us. And honestly it was kinda fun being in the same boat, not really knowing what was going on. It allowed us to take things as they came without any expectations.
Of course there were a bunch of things that were predictable and cliched but with the special effects and stuff, you stop caring and just enjoy the ride.

In the end, the good guys win, bad guys lose and the good guys take the skills (and diamonds) they learned from the Minecraft world and took them into reality.

Sonic 3 was about the importance of teamwork (particularly with Sonic, Tails and knuckles working together for the first time). The Mario movie was about how anyone, no matter how small or how much other people underestimate them, can make a difference in the world.
I suppose one key thing people can take away from this movie- whether they’re part the Minecraft fandom or not- is that maintaining a sense of creativity and finding joy in it is one of the most important things we have and should never be taken for granted.

Grade- a solid B+


Did it make me want to try the game myself?
Maybe… I’ll have to check YouTube to see what the switch version is like
Would I be any good at it?
Debatable… I really enjoyed the other cozy sandbox games I’ve played but there’s always that pang of comparison envy when I compare my builds to what I see on the internet.

Trailers


How to train your dragon (live action)

-the first time I’m seeing the full trailer and yeah, it looks impressive


King of kings

-it’s that time of year where there’s a limited release of a movie that leans heavily on the Christian theme.
-This one actually goes into the story of Jesus and all that leads to his crucification on Good Friday and him rising from the dead three days later on Easter. But this time it’s told as an animated bedtime story, which gives it a fresh new take it hasn’t had in a while… if ever.


Lilo and Stitch (live action)

-I mean, it looks fun and definitely faithful to the original movie. But I’m getting the feeling people are over live action remakes. Especially with how badly the little mermaid and Snow White movies were received


Smurfs

-we had a couple movies with animated Smurfs in a live action environment. This one seems to be all animated… but nonetheless feels pointless


Mission impossible- The Final Reckoning

-thankfully this was only a teaser trailer… seen the full one more than enough times


Jurassic World- rebirth

-ugh! Why?
-I have so many cliches I could use here involving extinction… I’ll leave it for everyone else to decide which one to use


Superman

-ok, at least this trailer offered something new… I thought it was going to just be Superman being saved by Krypto, followed by the same stupid montage flashing all of the movie scenes in a span of 90 seconds. The montage still happened with probably the same scenes in the exact same order but at least this time we got an epic reveal of the fortress of solitude

-Depending on the reception it gets, I might go out and see this one… considering how many superman reboots that’ve been attempted this century (not an exaggeration- we’ve had at least 4 movies featuring Superman come out since the mid 2000s), I’m kinda hoping we have one that finally works. If not, Hollywood should just stop trying to “make fetch happen” and let the Christopher Reeve movies represent the character as originally intended.

Remembering Michelle Trachtenberg

Her unexpected passing happened a week ago but now I think it’s finally hitting me— and a bit harder than I expected.
This morning I swear I had a dream about her, seeing her as she was in “Ice Princess” wearing a purple hoodie, and later on I’m explaining her psychics project from the movie as if I was her.
Fast forward a few hours later, I’m crying during the Aly & AJ song from the opening credits of that movie… and a few other songs on that amazing album.

I’m no stranger to various elements of my life being influenced by people I’ve never met… ok, I have met 2 of them at autograph signings but you get the point. They exist in social spheres mine is not in regular contact with.
The point of this whole spiel is that in some small way, I guess Michelle left a similar impact on me which is why I’m sad about what happened to her. Plus the fact we’re close in age- I’m still a bit astonished about Aaron Carter’s death from a few years ago, even as a non-fan, for the same reason.

And just to be completely transparent, this connection is more about characters she played in movies than her as a person. I don’t know if she still thought fondly of her time working on Harriet the Spy and Ice Princess years after filming them. But I have fond memories of seeing these movies and see bits of myself in their characters.

Harriet the Spy

I may not agree with what she used her writing skills for- spying on neighbors and penning hot takes of her classmates to name a few things. I also don’t credit this movie for all of my journaling habits and the fact I have so many notebooks— I swear they all have a specific purpose!
But people like Harriet who write their feelings down more than they speak them to their close friends and relatives, I can certainly relate.

If I’m not drafting or outlining fiction or doing journaling about the day to day stuff, I use writing to organize my thoughts on everything else.
One prime example- I have a blog I started in 2007 to document my thoughts on Prince’s music- specifically because I had to put my thoughts somewhere (there were so many!) and I didn’t have anyone in my life I felt comfortable spewing all these things to before they get sick of it.
But mainly I get my thoughts out better through writing because I can write my thoughts faster than I could express the same thoughts them verbally.
The one thought I keep having regarding all my notebooks- whoever finds them when I’m gone is going to have a lot of interesting writing material… assuming they can read my handwriting, haha. And hopefully they’ll be kept and treasured, opposed to winding up in a landfill somewhere.
Just to give you an idea, at last count I have over 20 of them and at least half a dozen are completely filled in with my musings or story outlines


Ice Princess

I enjoyed this movie when it first came out but it later became a memento that brings me back to an interesting time in my life.
The Sochi Olympics (which I was super locked into that year) were just ending and little did I know I was weeks away from finally getting contacted about a job offer after three years of receiving next to zero follow up from every position I tried for.
Of course retrospective makes it a little more magical than it felt at the time I was living it but enough time has passed where I have the freedom to choice how I remember it. The same way where certain songs mean something special to me personally because they provided the backdrop to a treasured memory.

I didn’t make this connection at the time it came out but Casey Carlisle and I have some key things in common. Both of us had aptitudes in sciences and we had family who pushed us to that path because it ensured a better career. We also both had passions for our things, more artistic things with far less job security.
My dream… still a work in progress sadly. Then again my life also isn’t a Disney movie.

Also- I’ll freely admit that this movie isn’t super realistic. Johnny weir is the only person I know who started skating later in life (he was a teenager) who found any major success in the sport.
I still question the fact one girl’s parents had to take out a second mortgage on their house to fund her career (especially since they look well to do based on her mom’s fashion choices). Another’s dad working two jobs- that’s easier to believe.
But when it comes to Casey, I love that she found her passion and fought for it. Plus she had genuine skating talent. Based on the one featurette they were running on the Disney channel when this movie came out, Michelle did learn some skating for this role but the jumps and some of the trickier elements were most likely someone else’s doing.

I also love that this movie- and the Olympics- brought Aly & AJ back into my orbit. Even in times like these where the memories make me a little sad, but it’ll eventually pass.

Another connection that may or may not go back to this movie— when I name my fictional characters, sometimes it’ll be a name that randomly comes to mind and just feels right.
Casey Carlton was one of them but I might have also been inspired by an American idol semi-finalist, I think her name was Casey Carlson… I know she existed but no clue which song she performed. But it had that magical thing called alliteration and I always had a fondness for the name “Casey” for a girl. I wound up using this character on 3 occasions, all of which connected to someone who was on my mind a lot at a certain time.
So technically fanfiction in 2 of the 3 and each story had a cameo from the main character from the previous one.

So anyway… not sure if I have a proper conclusion at the end of all this but this is where my mind’s been for the last 6 or so hours.


If I had any words for Michelle at the end of all this, I’d just say thank you for bringing these characters to life. I really enjoyed the little time I got to spend with them.

Election (1999)

According to reviews I read after the fact…

Election isn’t your typical high school movie.

Apparently it was designed to be a satire of our political system… a message I didn’t expect and didn’t personally get out of it. Except for maybe the end when the protagonist is seen with a senator in Washington D.C.
Clearly a reference to Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton with the only difference being that it was a Republican senator instead of a Democratic president.
I kinda want to joke Alexander Payne outed himself as a Democrat… except 99% of Hollywood is so it’s not that surprising.


Speaking of Alexander Payne…

This is my 4th Alexander Payne movie and I didn’t fully realize until now that satire is his thing.
I mean, Sideways was a commentary on the snotty business of wine tasting in Napa Valley… at least I think it was. The R-rating being capped off with a scene involving full frontal nudity wiped out every other memory of that movie except for “no effing Merlot!”
And The Holdovers (which I will review later this year!) was a critique of private schools favoring deep pocketed donors over making sure the students actually pass their classes.
The Descendants is the movie where I first learned the name of this writer/director because it was up for a ton of awards. I hadn’t seen it in years so I don’t know if it’s a satire or not. But I’d love to see it again, especially since we saw some of its locations (and ate at one) in Kauai last year.


What is it with high school movies…

…not actually being about high school.

I don’t know how long I’ve had this pet peeve but it’s gotten more prevalent in recent years.
Of all the high school movies out there, how many actually have to do with school? Being in class, taking exams… that sort of stuff. The typical formula is that high school movies focus mostly on extracurricular activities or having fun outside of the classroom. If there’s any classroom footage, it’s usually just one class with one specific teacher.
The only exception to this is those “beloved teachers” movies I love so much. Because they have to show off why they’re beloved and it’s about what they do in the classroom. Or going above and beyond for certain students outside normal hours- Mr Holland’s Opus is probably the best example. He was teaching stuff outside the classroom but at least he was teaching.

The easy answer to this is that classrooms are dull and boring and it’s not something people want to go back to in a movie. All the fun and excitement (and character development) happens outside the classroom.
And maybe that’s just me being selfish and wanting to see my high school experience reflected in a movie. When I wasn’t in class stressing about grades, I was in performing arts stuff as a background person or an audience member. And I did 2 dances with concert choir and senior prom.
I never spent time with anyone outside school because I had no close friends. And the one person I did want to hang out with (cuz I had a crush on him), he always had some other activity he was doing. Being involved in community service or whatever else…


Further impressions

I came into “Election” with the following impressions. Reese Witherspoon (Tracy Flick) and Matthew Broderick (Mr. McAllister) are in it. He plays a teacher that, for some reason, does not want her to win said election.

I’ve seen a bunch of their movies and they’re both very likable people. So I figured it’d be a win-win.
…in the movie, both wound up playing very UN-likable people. Yet I still wanted them to succeed for some reason. Maybe that old loyalty was hard to overcome. I might have also felt different if these roles were played by people I didn’t know or already found unlikable.

And before I get ahead of myself and forget… this wasn’t a good movie. I’d even add that it would be classified as one of those “movies that did not age well”.
At the same time, it’s morally ambiguous and offers some interesting talking points for discussion. Hence me writing this post…

Speaking of morals, the movie opens with a question in class (one of maybe 2 scenes that actually involve classroom stuff) that’s never properly answered. Although the movie pretty much goes to show neither of these characters have morals or ethics. If they did, this was thrown out the window by the end of the movie.

The question was- what’s the difference between morals and ethics?

Morals are an individual’s sense of right and wrong while ethics is what a body of government or a board of trustees determines to be right and wrong as they oversee a group of people ranking beneath them.
Thought I’d Google this in case anyone else didn’t know. Or they were equally as annoyed as I was that they never answered the question.
As soon as Tracy was allowed to give her answer, the bell rang.

One thing about this movie I found kinda jarring and lamenting “well that was a choice…”
All the main characters have inner monologue, which is fine. But it’s annoying to have the movie completely stop while someone narrates. And it freezes their faces in often unflattering ways. I get that that’s meant to make a point but to have it happen so many times where the movie just stops… not a fan.

So I came into this movie with one question- why doesn’t Mr. McAllister want Tracy to win the election?
Just based off that first scene- yeah, she’s a Hermione Granger know-it-all. Why let her succeed, right?

Then we find out his reasoning… and it was the last thing I ever would have expected because I never expect students fooling around with their teachers.
She got his work friend fired because they "fell in love". It seemed like it was mutual until her mom found out and she lodged a formal complaint.

(This actor looked kinda familiar and it wasn't until I looked him up I realized why... he played Caltech Dean Dr. Gablehauser in "The Big Bang Theory")

Now he wants to sabotage her because he doesn’t want the same thing to happen to him… i.e. she comes onto him because he's the teacher overseeing the student council.
But the more you watch, it becomes clear he’s afraid HE will develop feelings for her and it’ll ruin his life like he did his friend.

Call it what you want- it’s gross and inappropriate. One review I read nailed it by saying pedophilia should never be done for laughs, consenual or not.
This movie was R rated for adult content and language. No nudity but definitely sex. One scene is him and his wife and he winds up fantasizing his friend’s ex-wife and Tracy talking dirty to him in her place.
At least that was the intent. I wouldn’t know anything about this since I have literally no experience… but none of this talking dirty comes off as sexy.

The first manner of sabotage is finding someone to run against her because nobody else is. And he picks a dumb jock who recently broke his leg… the guy is clueless but he was very likable and easygoing.
It gets even more interesting when his sister joins the race, mostly to get back at him for stealing her girlfriend. A rare inclusion of a gay/lesbian character in a 90's movie. The only other one I'm aware of is Christian in "Clueless". Of course this is way more common in media nowadays.
Tammy was your typical unapologetic angry teenager but she’s still pretty cool. At her campaign speech, she said stuff like “vote for me or don’t” and how she’ll abolish the student government if elected so they won’t have to sit through any more of these “stupid assemblies again”.

I’d expected this movie to be a little more like Mean Girls where Tracy is the queen bee asserting her dominance in why she should win. 
She’s not even popular, which the question of how she thinks she'll get the votes if she doesn't regularly hang out with people. Her whole thing is being involved in everything to put together the perfect resume. Not necessarily because she enjoys what she does. But the downside is no time for friends. A fact she’s a little sad about but it’s not enough to make her change her trajectory.

Part of me did decide to see this movie because the premise sounded like good research for something I’m working.
I’m making an old project a little more high school oriented (with actual classroom content) and one of the ideas I was kicking around was student council.
This movie didn’t exactly give me the inspiration I wanted but I didn’t mind too much. It’s kinda refreshing that Tracy Flick wasn’t a queen bee type of character or the world’s biggest nerd or do-gooder. She’s ambitious for the sake of it. Maybe not the most likable thing a person can be but at least it’s something that speaks to her and motivates her. And maybe the fact she didn’t have friends was something that spoke to me.
I graduated high school 20 years ago this year… and now that I’m thinking about it, I literally have no idea who was on our student council and what they actually did.

Oddly for a high school movie, there's very little student-to-student interaction. In fact, it's more about Mr. McAllister's feeable attempts to undermine her campaign as well as contemplating an affair with his friend's ex-wife. All of this culminates in a bit of clever foreshadowing... a far-off shot of bees flying around a fruit tree in her background. I asked myself  "ok, what's that all about?" Let's just say he deserved what he got.

The results of the actual election… well, what fun would that be if I gave that away? 

Another kind of nice thing about this movie was that we got an epilogue. Just in case some people watching were left wondering what became of these characters.
It wasn’t the best movie but I liked how they did it. And everyone pretty much got what they wanted in the end.
I wish more movies did this because I often find myself wanting to see what happens after the story ends or at least get a glimpse into the future of these characters.

One final thing- the janitor is like the cook from “hunt for red October”… trust me, it’ll make sense later.

The most interesting part of this whole experience... I kinda knew going in this movie wasn't going to be good. But I think that freed me up to enjoy it for what it was. 

Tommy (1975)

When someone uses “it was a product of its time” to describe something, what comes to mind?

A) it’s from a psychedelic or surreal decade like the 60s and 70s so it feels like a drug trip, or
B) this phrase is specifically designed to excuse something later generations would consider offensive but “back in the day” it was considered normal or commonplace

At face value, Tommy felt like the first option but the more I thought about it afterwards, the latter also seemed to apply.

Going into it, I knew nothing about it or The Who. Except for Roger Daltrey, they set the record for being the loudest band in the world and their most famous song is Pinball Wizard.
And that this movie existed…

So some initial thoughts after seeing it...

Am I glad I watched it?
Kinda…

Would I see it again?
Probably not- I’d classify this as one of those movies where seeing them once is good enough

Would I recommend it?
Eh… I don’t know. It would depend on the person? Maybe if you like trippy movies or 70s cult films like Rocky Horror, I could recommend this and obviously if you’re well acquainted with The Who. But that’s it.

TCM is a fun channel because they’ll have someone talk about the background information and other trivia before and after a movie airs.
I don’t know what happened on New Year’s Day but that didn’t happen. Would I have liked this movie better if it did?
Maybe… I still think it would’ve been helpful to know what I was getting into beforehand.

Which begs the question how I’d describe this movie to someone like me who has no idea what to expect.

For starters, it would’ve been helpful to know that this is a MUSICAL where 99.9% of the dialogue was singing.
I don’t hate the genre like most people who claim to hate people “randomly breaking into song”… but in this case it was so bizarre that it was like this. The first 5-10 minutes was all instrumental and when they started singing, I was grateful for actual words… until it dawned on me it was all going to be sung.
Second- it’s a rock opera (which I already kinda knew about this album- it invented the genre before Queen did it in 1975). But the long translation of this would be “you’re getting a movie where ‘plot’ is very loosely written around the music.”

Prince did the rock opera thing with his symbol album (aka the last album he released before he temporarily changed his name to said symbol) in 1992. He got grief from fans for numerous reasons over how it turned out but one notable one was the storyline not making sense. Particularly noting it made more sense before he added one shiny new song and removed some segue tracks to make room for it.
Any fan who has the right connections most likely had heard the “removed footage” and can confirm- the story still doesn’t make complete sense but the added context would’ve been helpful.
The “opera” is mostly a love story between him and the girl who’d later become his first wife. Some songs fit in the context of the opera and some don’t. What suffers the most is the anthem “3 chains o gold”- the original story is that he’s given these chains to protect from the assassins who killer her father and he’s later corrupted by their power. But without the removed footage, this very dramatic moment in the album comes out of nowhere, makes no sense and anyone who doesn’t know better would relegate it to be a “bohemian rhapsody knockoff”.

After seeing Tommy… hey, at least Prince sorta had a story even if it wasn’t explained very well.

Tommy sorta had a story too. It just wasn’t an enjoyable one- for the most part.

I’ll come back to part B of my initial comment.
I’m no expert but am I correct in assuming “blind deaf and dumb” is one of those phrases that’ve been outmoded because it’s now considered a slur? Similar to how “retarded” had been used since I was a kid in the 90s and it was outmoded in the mid 2000s for not just being politically incorrect but offensive. Through that lens I see some people from more recent generations taking exception to this movie on that alone.

But beyond the nonstop singing, my biggest problem was that Tommy was basically gaslit by his family for most of the movie. Then when he finally amounts to something of worth, he’s taken advantage of so his family can live a richer lifestyle.

He’s made the way he is because he was abused by various family members and his stepfather kills his actual father and he and his mom lie to him about it.
One could argue whether or not Tommy’s father (presumed to have died in the war) was actually there when his stepfather killed him. It could just as easily have been a metaphor for “Tommy saw his mom and stepfather sleeping together and it scarred him for life”. But the fact his mother seems to go along with her new boyfriend more than her own son after this happens is probably the most messed up part of this whole thing.

And yeah they both seem guilty about the whole thing so they keep trying methods to fix him. His stepfather takes him to Tina Turner, a prostitute known as the acid queen. And his mother takes him to what appears to be a cult that worships Marilyn Monroe, a scene ending with him kissing her feet like the parishioners before him and the statue breaks.
Both have imagery that can only be described as fucking bizarre. Particularly the Iron Maiden being injected with red fluid from syringes. And one time it opens and you see a skeleton being ravaged by snakes.
I’m generally ok with snakes but I’m not ok with needles so this scene was pretty disturbing.
This movie wasn’t quite the acid trip the Oliver Stone Doors movie was but it came close at times like that.

In our house, we use “this is spinal tap” as a punchline a lot. Mostly comparing other movies to it saying they weren’t as bad.
Spinal Tap was easier to handle but there’s barely one scene I’d consider memorable other than “crank it up to 11” and the album signing nobody came to.

Tommy is worth seeing for the Pinball Wizard scene alone… but very little else.
Elton John has a really cool cameo as the soon to be former pinball champ. Especially those shoes. They reminded me of a Prince quote (from a remix of the 1985 B-Side “Hello”) where he says “I wish you could stand in my shoes but they’re so high you’d probably fall over and die”. Those shoes were that huge, haha

So Tommy finds the one thing he’s good at and everyone loves him for it.
Somehow his senses are completely cured and he’s a normal person again… as if his childhood trauma was the one thing holding him back all these years and he could’ve seen, heard and spoke but simply chose not to.
Then for whatever reason, he gains a literal cult following. His family takes advantage of all that the same way certain religious leaders over the years have conned people out of money. (This movie came out before that whole affair with Tammy Faye and her husband but it’s hard not to see some parallels). Then in the end his followers turn on him, murder his family and he’s free to do whatever he wants.
That’s the one other bright spot in this movie- Tommy gets to find happiness after everything he’d been through and that’s what matters the most.
That’s why this movie was mostly a slog until Pinball Wizard- if you can get through the singing and “story”, you see a protagonist who deserves better. Once things start to get more upbeat and positive for him, it was more enjoyable.


But I can’t help but wonder what could’ve been if the writing had more common sense behind it, particularly the second half of the movie.
Maybe this is me overthinking things but I had two thoughts when Tommy got some autonomy back,
A) that he’d suddenly lose his pinball talents because his missing senses aided his ability to excel… not that I wanted that to happen but I half expected it and that would be why he suddenly lost his cult following
And B) something I hoped would happen but didn’t… him denouncing his family once he got his senses back. They’re the whole reason he was that way to begin with and he shouldn’t have forgiven them so easily

One final thing to note- there’s a little too much repetition with the songs. My mom will often complain about songs like “I could’ve danced all night” having too many choruses and going on forever.
This movie had one or two songs that did that- the final one in particular because half of its length played out in the end credits.
The other- “see me, feel me” and whatever else… ugh! Enough already, just stop! That song comes up at least two or three times in the whole movie.

And want to know the most ironic thing?
Earlier that day I looked up reviews on a movie playing on hbo that night. Google gave it 2 out of 5 stars and comments were vastly “I want that time back” and “I kept waiting for to get better and it never got any better”. So I passed on it.
In hindsight I probably should’ve looked this one up while I was at it, just to see what I was getting into. I don’t think it would’ve changed the fact that it’s probably going to be another movie that’ll stick with me for the wrong reasons. At least I can say it did get better as it went on. I just wouldn’t sit through it again.


One final edit after reading reviews:

• Glad to see I’m not alone in not getting this movie...
• More reviews need to mention all the singing and lack of dialogue
• Some people like it and one even said “you’re dead or at least comatose” if you don’t get what they got out of this movie. People should be feel like what they like but also respect those who don’t feel the same way. It’s like a quote I read somewhere “if they don’t get it, the journey wasn’t meant for them”
• It’s funny to me in times like these when I read comments berating the director for being “overindulgent”. It’s kinda up there about movies being too sentimental. Both are complaints I’ll read but I don’t see them myself. Still don’t get how being too sentimental as a bad thing…
• One funny comment that also reads true- “maybe someone from the 70s can explain it to me”- agreed but after all this reflection, I’m done and ready to move onto something better.

My 2024 in Movies and In Memorium

I'd been keeping track of how many movies I'd seen in my life and, more relevant to this post, how many new movies I'd seen each year since 2011.

There've been 39 movies I saw for the first time in 2024. One of the lowest totals in the time since I started keeping track of this stuff. For theaterial trips, there'd only been 4 for me all year. 

1. Kung Fu Panda 4
2. Deadpool and Wolverine
3. Wicked [part 1]
4. Sonic the Hedgehog 3

Honestly there hadn't been that many movies I'd wanted to personally go out and see. A lot of people feel this way, though, so it's not just me.

I still don't have a streaming account anywhere so it's not as if Netflix (Amazon, Disney+, etc.) is stealing my business away from movie theaters. If I'm seeing any new movies anymore, it's either on HBO, TCM or (mainly in December) some Hallmark type movie. 
All four theatrical trips were enjoyable. The latest Deadpool is probably my favorite of the 4 and the new Sonic movie is my sister's (after all, it was her idea).

She and my mom also went out to see the new Beetlejuice movie with friends. I waited until it came to HBO and it was a lot of fun. The humor is probably closer to the campiness of the animated series than that of the original 1988 movie, but as far as long-awaited sequels to 80's movies, it was really well done. 
Which reminds me- I need to do a post on the Top Gun sequel and Oppenheimer...

As for other movie highlights this year (some occasional spoilers are sprinkled in so be warned):

Monkey Business and Horse Feathers

-TCM was doing a marathon so I saw these two back to back. I fell asleep during the second one so I guess I didn't like it quite as much

-At some point, Duck Soup will have to come as well since that's the most famous one.

Fences

- I'd been curious about it since the whole "Hidden Fences" Oscar fiasco and it lived up to the hype for sure. I'd been a fan of Viola's since "How to get away with murder" so it was great seeing her win for this.

A Streetcar Named Desire

-I'd wanted to see this for years I'm still glad I did, but I didn't like it enough to want to see it again

-Stanley really wasn't a likeable guy, the climax between him and Blanche was unsettling (mostly because whatever happened between them, you had to guess at because it wasn't clearly spelled out). The ending where Stella finally leaves him was very fitting. .

For animated movies:

Soul was really good. It's a cool concept but also makes you think about some deep stuff. Like being brave enough to make an effort in your life since you only get one. And how sometimes we'll work towards something and it may not be everything you expected.

Raya the Last Dragon was also pretty cool, although I couldn't help but feel it was another of those recent efforts by Disney to try to shoe-horn some big socio-political lesson into a movie.

Awkafina was Raya as well as Po's new frenemy in the latest Kung Fu Panda. I read one headline shortly after that movie came out, essentially someone asking movies to stop casting Awkafina and get REAL voice actors. I didn't bother reading further because I just didn't agree with the sentiment. I hadn't seen everything she's done but she's never disappointed.

Chris Pratt, on the other hand, has put in almost as much work doing voiceovers as he'd done in his Jurassic and Marvel movies. But does he bring anything special to his roles in the Lego Movies or as Mario or (more recently) Garfield? ...not really. He fills in the roles fine but now I can't help but wonder if studios are getting lazy using him all the time.

Trolls: Band Together... I really don't want to give Justin Timberlake any slack, especially after the year he's had and stuff that'd come out about him in Britney's memoir. But this was a really fun movie. Probably my favorite of the 3 troll movies cuz I'm always a sucker for a boyband storyline. Also the two villains wanting to steal the talents of the troll boyband to up their own street cred- it's not wholly original but I liked how they incorporated the social media/internet famous angle into it.

Minions and the Rise of Gru was a lot of fun as well. Although there was one scene from the trailers they cut out...  considering I saw it on an airplane, I can kinda understand why. 

Some movies I didn't like quite as much:

The Producers

- I was literally lost for the first 10 minutes.I didn't know if that over-the-top acting was a play or it was reality, but it made no sense

- the only time I laughed the entire movie was Gene Wilder falling on the ground and he deadpan remarks "I fell on my keys"... don't know why that made me laugh, maybe because it came out of nowhere

The Zone of Interest

-I did a whole post on this movie where I went into all the reasons I didn't like it so I won't take too long. I'll just say that I might have gotten more out of it if it didn't go in that bizarre European art film direction. Long periods of time where the screen is all red or all white and literaly nothing happens for 5 minutes but eerie background music. 

The Great Escape

- Ugh... I'm still mad about this one. The title says ESCAPE... you'd think that would translate to "they escaped and actually got away"... instead, it was "the great escape ATTEMPT". Almost everyone got recaptured, so what was even the point? 

Road House

- first off, way more sex and nudity that I expected so I wan't a fan of that

-second, the storyline was not what I'd expected. I thought the movie was about him straightening up the rowdy patrons of this bar. I didn't think it was going to be about him waging war with this inscrupulous rich guy who owns more than half the town. 
-the one good thing was that the ending justified most of that second bullet point... basically the bad guy gets killed and nobody in town is willing to fess up to the authorities who was responsible... so they basically get away with murder because the jerk deserved it

The Wolf of Wall Street

-pretty much all the things I hated about this movie, see the "first off" section from Road House and add in a plethora of profanity. I assume it still holds the record for the most F-bombs per minute of any movie. With all those things, it was way too fast-paced and overstimulating. It was too much and it's a LONG movie.

-the one part I'll always remember because it was hilarious... Leo being whacked out of his mind on drugs and barely able to get into his car... and later he finds out he didn't get to his destination in one piece

yeah... Leo DiCaprio is a good looking guy and it seems like a lot of his characters get away with stuff because of that charm and his good looks. But I don't think I've liked ANY of the characters he'd played. "Catch me if you can" and "The Great Gatsby" are probably the two expections of movies I'd liked him in. And maybe "Inception," but he's secondary when compared to the other reasons I did enjoy it. 

Some more highlights:

Fantastic Voyage

-really cool efforts and it was cool to see the movie that inspired episodes in some of my favorite cartoons

-the only thing missing for me: did the patient make a full recovery at the end? They showed as far as the mission being successful, but I could've used a few more minutes to see how successful it actually was

Save the Last Dance

-this movie was one of my early favorites for the year. I love these high school movies, no matter how predictable they can be at times

-probably my favorite thing was the music. I've had "Crazy" by K-Ci and Jo-Jo and "Get it on tonite" by Montell Jordan in my collection for 20 years (from NOW 6 and 4 respectively) so it was really cool seeing them brought to life on screen. And now my memories of enjoying this movie will come to mind whenever I listen to them in the future

Young Adult

-not the best movie by any means. The whole concept of a woman lusting after her ex-boyfriend (who's married AND has a new baby) is ridiculous and Charlize Theron doesn't play a particularly likeable protagonist. 

-Although for me, it became one of those movies where I was glad I stuck around for the whole thing. I might not have gotten as much out of it as I did if I hadn't been invested in Tara Lipinski's podcast about her infertility journey. A lot of the things I'd learned from it and experienced with her and some of the guests that'd been a part of it came to mind watching this movie.

-Even with its flaws, this movie did give me one great little reference that'll probably live rent-free in my head for years: KenTacoHut. I'd known for years that KFC, Taco Bell and Pizza Hut were owned by the same company but her acronym to address all of them being inside the same building in this movie: absolute genius!

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

-there's been so many comedies like this lately that have a lot of ridiculous over-the-top shenagians that happen. And characters that are nearly impossible to save from their own stupidity. Strangely enough, this movie did as much wrong as it did right, and I came away with it actually having fun with it. And I'd be open for seeing it again... assuming there's nothing else on that I'd rather watch

-Mike and Dave are idiots that screw up a lot of family parties in epic ways. And if it's at all possible, they manage to find two girls to be their wedding dates who are more screwed up than them. Aubrey Plaza had been getting a lot of momentum lately because The White Lotus series and here, it's easy to see why she's gotten so much hype as a comedic actress. 

The Holdovers and American Fiction have two big things in common
1) They were both nominated for a bunch of Oscars this past year, but only won a couple

2) They were among my in-flight movies to Hawaii this past May

And both movies were really good. It's easy to see why they got all that award-hype. As good as Cillian Murphy was as Oppenheimer, I'd still pick Jeffrey Wright for Best Actor.

I liked "The Holdovers" so much I got it for Christmas... and will most likely do a blog post sometime in the future.
It's another of those teacher dramas I really enjoy. Except this one is almost quirky like a Wes Anderson movie with some of the jokes and camera direction. Paul Giamatti plays a teacher at a prep school who's in charge of the students left behind on Christmas break. It takes a while to get going, but some of the hilarity that ensues... omg, I thought it was a blast.

"American Fiction" was fascinating for a lot of reasons. There's been so much talk lately about there being a need for more original black storytelling in movies. The movie does that and does it really well.

Jeffrey Wright plays a writer in pursuit of success. The only problem is that the general public isn't interested in the kind of black fiction he wants to write. Stuff that doesn't revolve around absentee fathers, drugs and gang violence. Then as a joke, he anonymously pens a book about all of these things. It's meant to be a satire and it actually becomes a success story. And he's left with the struggle of what to do next. There's some funny moments sprinkled amongst all the drama.
My one little gripe is the ending... or should I say endings. Because the book is adapted into a movie and the director (played by Seth Cohen from The O.C.) keeps rejecting his ideas for the ending. And it looks like the one that gets chosen is the most ridiculous, over-the-top and insensitive... but like the book itself, it's what "the people" want so that's ultimately what the end result is.

In Memorium

This wasn't a huge year in terms of losses, but some of the losses felt bigger than ours.

Easily the most notable was James Earl Jones. In a similar fashion to Angela Lansbury the previous year, he was one of those people who'd played notable roles that hold a special place for different generations. And if you're lucky, you'll have known them for multiple things because your family or friends introduced you to them.
For my mom's generation, he was Darth Vadar. Star Wars is also one of her favorite movies and that's why I'm also a fan. 
Then for my generation, he was in Coming to America, The Sand Lot, but even more notable, Mufasa in The Lion King. Easily one of those voices that are so synonymous with a character that they'll never be replicated.
He also had a really funny cameo on The Big Bang Theory where he hung out with Sheldon for a day. Aside from the Carrie Fisher scene,  the funniest part is when they're hanging out at the top of the Ferris Wheel.
Sheldon shouts to all of Pasadena how he's up there with him "and he's nicer than you think."
And James shouts back "I am!" with the biggest smile on his face.

Bob Newhart, who'd had a long storied career anyway, I didn't get to know until seeing him as Professor Proton on Big Bang. Now I guess I'll have to add his show to my list of TVLand old-time TV shows I still need to see. A list that includes Gilligan's Island, The Munsters and The Addams Family (saw some movies, but never saw the original).

For me and the rest of us who grew up with Pokémon, the loss of Rachael Lillis (after a rough fight with breast cancer) still feels fresh. 

Cat Glover was a dancer that worked with Prince frequently in the later part of the 80's. She'd had her share of health issues in recent years so it's good that she'd finally found her peace. It couldn't have been easy. I don't know her as well as some of his other associates over the years, but the little I do know, she was a fierce friend.

Two losses from movies I frequently watch that I didn't even know had passed away until I was compiling this list: John Ashton (Sgt. Taggart from the Beverly Hills Cop films) and Ken Page (who did the voice of Oogie Boogie from The Nightmare Before Christmas)

Maggie Smith is another Harry Potter alum who'd recently joined Hogwarts in the great beyond. A couple of the actors made cameos on the Wizards of Baking competition on Food Network last month and before they all came back for the finale, I half expected someone else to show up and it kinda hit me how many we'd since lost. Both Dumbledores, Snape, Hagrid... and the list is only going to grow as the years go by.
Also, another more recent role that left a notable impact was her role on Downton Abbey. Or as SNL put it, "the chicken lady." (There was a really funny sketch where they made fun of the show, but those who are better versed with it than I am would probably say "yeah, that's accurate").

Teri Garr- the annoucement of her loss was shocking because of the timing more than anything else. We were watching Young Frankenstein, as we often do in October, and were thinking about the fact most of the cast had since passed away. Except her... a few weeks later, that changed. Now that's pretty much all of the main cast.

Chita Rivera- years ago we saw a farce at the local theater where they made fun of all the Broadway musicals. One of them was two girls doing "America" but their lines were "my name is Rita and not Chita" (and vice versa when the other girl sang). She and Rita Moreno (who :knock wood: is still with us) made this role famous in the Broadway show and the movie adaptation and therefore equally worthy of recognition.

Carl Weathers- best known for being Apollo Creed in the Rocky movies. Also Predator, which we watch every year or so.

Liam Payne- I'm not really a big One Direction fan, but it's hard not to be sad about his tragic death. Especially since last I heard, the circumstances surrounding it have gotten more nefarious. Not to the extent of Matthew Perry (I'm still wrapping my head around this one...), but it's not under the circumstances. 

Martin Mull- saw him a few times on Hollywood Squares, but I remember him years ago being a major character on Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

Donald Sutherland- to olders generation, he was many things. Including the one cool teacher in "Animal House". For mine, he was President Snow in the Hunger Games series. A person you loved to hate, but he played him well extremely.

Theatrical Review: Sonic the Hedgehog 3

Date: Sunday, December 22 2024
Time: 10:30am
Party: 2 (my sister and I)

(Shadow's the first hedgehog I've drawn... and he won't be the last ;) )

Review:

(includes some minor spoilers)

The two of us have seen all of the Sonic movies thus far, but all on DVD. The mini-series "Knuckles," which had previously been exclusive to streaming, was shown over the course of a week on Nickelodeon earlier this year.
So needless to say, there was a lot of anticipation for this theater trip. And it was absolutely worth the trip. My sister really enjoyed it, calling it by far the best of the three movies.
Me, I don't remember Sonic 2 as well because we only watched it once so far, but I've been pleased with all the movies so far. Including this one.

If you'd seen all of the movies so far, you pretty much know what you're going to get. Lots of fast-paced action sequences, sometimes ending with big explosions. Heartfelt sentimental moments. The occasional dramatic backstory. And plenty of laughs to be had in between. Most of them from the comedic genius of Jim Carrey. As if it wasn't already inherently obvious, he has a line in the movie that shatters the 4th wall into oblivion. Something about "two characters being played by the same character".

Yeah, we'd been doing this self-aware meta humor for so long we're not even trying to hide it anymore. But in this instance, the movie poking fun at this move was well-played.
Jim Carrey plays double-duty as the Dr. Ivo Robotnik we've come to know from the previous films as well as his grandfather, Dr. Gerald Robotnik. Both equally zany and entertaining to watch.

For the most part, this movie is about the characters and the jokes. The story moves the plot, obviously, but the characters are why you stick around to see how it unfolds. This isn't the type of movie where it's important for the plot to make complete sense, but it kinda bugs me that some of it didn't make sense.
Particularly with this govt agency, GUN, and their connection with Shadow. He arrived on Earth inside a meteor 50 years ago and they were running experiments with him. He was particularly close with elder Dr. Robotnik and his granddaughter Maria. Then the trio makes for an escape sometime later, which results in Maria getting killed and the other two imprisoned. All of that makes sense plus the fact Shadow was too powerful for them to trust out in the world. 
Maybe this is me overthinking things, but I kept waiting for someone to spell out some elaborate plot for GUN to seize world domination with Shadow's powers. Or that it was an Area 51 thing and they didn't want their secrets to become known to the public.

Anyway, I was having a hard time figuring out who the bad guy was supposed to be in this movie until the giant laser was activated and launched into space. And elder Dr. Robotnik revealed what he really wanted to do with it. A much bigger act of revenge than simply destroying the agency's headquarters in London. 

Again, these movies really are about the characters, getting to know their different personalities and quirks, and seeing how they interact with one another.
Sonic, Tails and Knuckles all had their moments to shine. Which I appreciated a lot because in my limited memory of the second movie, Tails was out of commission for a fair chunk of it so he didn't get as much screen time in his theatrical debut.

Keanu as Shadow-- the most genius casting choice since Jim Carrey as Robotnik. I'm not as well acquainted with him as my sister (who'd seen the 4Kids Sonic series and more YouTube videos of this franchise than I have) but it's easy to see why the fanbase has fallen in love with him. He's got a tragic backstory, which has unfortunately warped his judgement, but you still root for him and want to see him succeed. Just maybe not at the cost of the whole planet getting blown up like Alderaan.
The flashback scenes with him and Maria were sweet and from the little I'd seen on YouTube, they felt pretty close to the original canon. The only difference was that the govt base where they lived had been in space and she had some fatal uncurable disease. Otherwise the plots felt very similar and Shadow's role to play at the end of it fit his character perfectly.

Minus the Robotniks, most of the human characters are minor and secondary to the plot. But they still had fun little moments. The best for Tom and Maddie (aka Donut Lord and Pretzel Lady) was the mountain of hobbies they'd amassed in the short amount of time the trio was working for GUN. Not sure which was funnier- Tom's humorous attempt at ventriloquism or Maddie's knitting (where she actually croqueted a sweater for him that says "Donut Lord" with little croqueted donuts sewn into it)... 
Tom also gives a nice speech early in the movie where he talks to Sonic about how he didn't let his past (losing his mentor before coming to Earth) change his heart... although it's one of those speeches that sounds like it was tailor-made for a movie with its not-so-subtle foreshadowing. Shadow's whole thing is that he and Sonic look like they could be twins, but the big difference between them is how they handle their past traumas. Using it to be better hedgehogs or fuel for revenge.

And Robotnik's assistant, Agent Stone, he got to have a mix of humorous and sentimental moments. The dynamic between him and Robotnik are still there, but the introduction of elder Robotnik throws a wrench into that and suddenly he's the third wheel and feels less than appreciated as a result.
I'm not sure all Sonic fans feel the same, but for the two of us, we'd been fans of Agent Stone from his first appearance. (The scene in the first movie where Robotnik does a dance break and is interrupted when Stone brings him a latte- comedy gold!). As a minion, he's extremely loyal, but he's become so much more than a minion through the course of these movies.

... and yeah, it should be noted that there is a mid-credits scene hinting at the next movie. And yet another new character is introduced. Which begs the question, at least from me, how many movies are they planning to make? How many characters are we going to introduce? Because at some point, surely, they're going to run out of new characters, right? 
From the little I've seen of Sonic X, there's a sizeable cast so we might be here a while.

Grade: A- 

Trailers:

• Dogman

According to my sister, this character came from the same author as the "Captain Underpants" series... to me, a dog's head being attached to a cop's body kinda says Hollywood's run out of ideas

• Captain Amerca- Brave New World

It's been a while since I forgot they were making this movie. Looks like it'll be impressive so it might be enough to bring me back to the theater for a Marvel movie. (I'd seen at least 2 Marvel movies in theaters since Endgame and a few more on DVD. But since I'm not running out to see every single movie anymore for fear of missing out on a crucial story element, I'm clearly not as involved as I used to be)

• Lilo & Stitch (which they showed twice for some weird reason)

We saw the poster on the way in. And as far as teaser trailers go, it's pretty good. CGI Stitch looks so realistic. 
But why the heck did the theater show this twice? Not sure if that was on purpose or not. Hopefully not...

• Elio

Pixar's latest movie. Not really sure what to make of it just based on the trailer. There's a lot of bright colors. A kid who spends more time staring at the stars than with other people gets abducted by aliens and he has adventures. The funniest part was when he says one area is beautiful and someone tells him "um, this is the toilet" and they get flushed and it's like an amusement ride.

• Karate Kid Legends

This trailer starts circulating a few days ago and it's literally everywhere now. It brings together Jackie Chan and Ralph Macchio, who come together to help Jackie Chan's newest student.
I hadn't seen any of the newer movies or Cobra Kai. One is streaming and we don't stream. And the other... the original Karate Kid is perfect. I didn't want to see it remade.
I just hope this sequel bringing everything together lives up to the hype because I might see it at some point, whether it's in a theater or HBO.

• The Legend of Ochi

Saw the same trailer during "Wicked"... It doesn't hold any interest for me so I have no further comment

• Superman

With James Gunn from "Guardians of the Galaxy" fame at the helm of this, hopefully we finally break the streak of inferior non-Christopher Reeves Superman movies. 
But I'm not one to talk because I'd only seen the original 1978 film and the widely panned Justice League movie.
Based on the trailer, this looks REALLY good but I'm sure the fans won't be shy telling everyone who'll listen their unfiltered thoughts.

• Mission Impossible: The Final Reckoning

Whether or not this will be the final Mission Impossible movie EVER, it's hard to be sure. I'm sure Tom Cruise will continue to make them as long as he's alive. 
I saw the original so long ago I have no memory of it and I think I saw Shadow Protocol because Jeremy Renner was in it. I've had no incentive to see any of the others, but who knows? There's a chance one day I might sit down and watch the rest of them. It's a lot more likely than seeing a single Fast & Furious movie... all of them are car chases and explosions, anyway.

Speaking of movies I might get around to seeing one day... I haven't seen a single John Wick movie and I really should see at least the first one. The trick is finding it on cable, preferably without commercials.

Saturday Night Live Christmas over the years

I started thinking about my favorite moments from this yearly rehash (and the few I want to see burn up in a literal dumpster fire). Then I reached the inevitable conclusion of “oh crap I guess I gotta do a blog post on it”

So here I am writing said post.
It’s become a staple the last several years (probably been over a decade by this point, lol) that all of us gather around the tv to watch. The best part is that they have sketches going as far back as season one while sprinkling in more recent highlights.

This year had 2 new ones I hadn’t seen before but made all of us laugh.

The first was a tv infomercial for ABBA Christmas which saw the return of Kate McKinnon and BFFs Kristin Wiig and Maya Rudolph. (I assume the one guy is a newer cast member because I didn’t recognize him).
But all the snippets of performances were either ABBA songs rehashed as Christmas songs or new Christmas songs that had the musical trademarks of their music. I don’t know if the whole gag was for them to be unintelligible because they’re from Sweden but it still kinda bugged me I couldn’t understand a word. The funniest part of course was them singing super close to each other and seeing who breaks first. Kate McKinnon is just crazy good enough to be able to stay in character but even she has a moment where she cracks.
Best comment was the MC explaining the contents of the CD, which ends with “Christmas covers of all 86 of their songs”. Something like that but even as huge Mamma Mia fans, we laughed so hard.

The other new one was a white elephant party where Austin Butler (fresh off his “Elvis” promo tour) played a disgruntled guest because his beloved catch-all ashtray got stolen by another guest.
In the end he gets what he wants when he happens to open another one but in black.
Never seen someone so happy to get an ashtray in their lives, haha

Most of the same sketches return every year and we all have our favorites.
However, I do have one in particular I NEVER want to see again. In recent years, it’s just been in the first hour and I happen to be watching something else at the time. Previous to that, I find an excuse to just leave the room for 2 minutes.
I’m talking, of course, about the Will Ferrell vomit sketch. Where they’re playing “it’s the most wonderful time of the year”, he’s on a spinning platform and he gets motion sick everywhere.
In general I’m not a huge Will Ferrell fan in general. Ron Burgundy (first movie only) is great but he mostly plays an overgrown man child. “Elf” has one or two good lines but I cannot stand that movie because of him.
I’m not a fan of toilet humor in general but vomit is NEVER going to be funny. Especially for someone like me who had sensitive stomach problems as a kid that participated some unspeakably embarrassing moments. Just find the master tapes and the negatives and burn them…

Another sketch I’ve seen a little less in recent years but would get rid of one or two parts of.
The Michael Buble Christmas duets infomercial. Some of the impressions like Taran Killen as Scotty McCreery are really good and lady Gaga just being a glammed up Christmas tree with googly eyes is well played.
But Kristin Wiig being Taylor Swift- not cool! Her whole bit was doing her surprised face and not singing a single note. It’s a good impression, but omg, stop making her look like a complete airhead and sing!
Jimmy Fallon’s Justin Bieber impression is no better. No singing at all but I have to admit his goofy face and dance moves were pretty funny. And this is me speaking as someone who didn’t like Justin at all until he outgrew that heartthrob phase- his music got a lot more enjoyable after that although I still wouldn’t consider myself a huge fan.

Another quick pet peeve before moving on to the good stuff.
The shortened segments leading to commercial breaks. I’m going to YouTube just so I can see the entirety of the Mr Robinson’s neighborhood sketch. What happens besides the eviction notice?! You’d think they’d someday treat us to the full sketch.

...after seeing the whole thing, I can kinda see why they might not show the whole thing. He talks about breaking into people's houses and taking stuff (opposed to Santa who gives stuff). Plus two schemes that are kinda troubling but also entertaining. One is pretending to collect for the Salvation Army (complete with bucket and bell) when he's really giving money to himself. But the best part has to be him selling knock-off Cabbage Patch Dolls to stupid children- where he beheads a doll and gives it a head of lettuce. This was probably done in the midst of the mania of that fad so it was probably cathartic for a lot of people.

I’d love for them to bring back the “it’s a wonderful life” sketch where Dana Carvey is a perfect Jimmy Stewart, uncle Billy remembers Mr Potter has the money and the whole town gives him his much needed comeuppance after they find out he’s not even a cripple.
The one thing that movie was missing… and also George Bailey finally getting to travel outside Bedford Falls.
But instead we’re stuck with the pointless “leave me alone, please go away!” riff on Carol of the Bells… saw the rest of the sketch on YouTube. Not missing too much. But it ends with a number for 1-800-Get-Help... I know they're dysfunctional, but dang!


The following are sketches the season would be incomplete without:


Candice Bergen's consumer probe


What’s Christmas without Johnny switchblade or, my personal favorite, bag of glass?


D*ck in the box


This came out when I was in college and so many people loved it.
It took me a little extra time to warm up to the idea but it is pretty fun. The one part I always remember is the steps. And what was with that stupid flower he was rubbing all over her face?

(I’m not a fan of Justin Timberlake by any means but he’s always great on SNL holidays. Particularly when he’s dressed as a cup of soup, does a little dance and ends with “give it all to Homelessville!”)


The Hanukkah Song

If you’re sensing a pattern here, it’s not your imagination.
I’m not a huge Adam Sandler fan either (see Will Ferrell man-child comment) but this is a really fun staple where you pick out new things every year or you’ve memorized more of it despite only seeing it once a year.
It’s at the point where my sister and I will anticipate and shout our favorite lines.
Best line is spinning the dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr Spock (BOTH JEWISH!!)
Followed by “OJ Simpson… not a Jew” and “so many Jews in show biz. Tom Cruise isn’t but I think his agent is.”
The best part is that he almost goes off the rails laughing multiple times yet he keeps it together to the very end.

Heck, the Californians Thanksgiving sketch is the stupidest thing ever but it’s funny because they break character constantly and still manage to get through it.
(My favorite thanksgiving sketch is with Anne Hathaway working at a soup kitchen and slowly losing her sanity because Kristin Wiig kept one upping her on everything… which shows off Kristin’s amazing improv skills because she built up everything Anne said in the same order she said- it kinda blew my mind)


Sweddy Balls on NPR radio


Nothing will make me out to be a bigger hypocrite than my feelings on Alec Baldwin.

I’ve wanted him to be cancelled for ages because of his terrible Donald Trump impression… this is a whole rant but I’ll spare the extraneous details.
But the fact, accident or not, he literally killed someone on the “Rust” set and got away with it because the prosecution didn’t follow procedure… that’s straight up reprehensible and he should be held accountable for the rest of his life.

All that being said… I may not like the guy (or any of his movies except maybe rock of ages) but I don’t want them to stop airing this sketch.

Again, I’m a massive hypocrite but in this day and age, who isn’t?

I made comments about not liking toilet humor but when it comes to playful cheeky innuendos, bring them on!
The whole joke is that this is meant to be radio so you don’t see what’s actually going on but it’s still funny at face value. Molly Shannon and Ana Gasteyer are perfect together and we find new favorite lines to say with them every year.
Funnels are great for funneling and Molly Shannon lowkey has an excessive rat problem.
This year we counted- they said “balls” 24 times, lol

Not sure if it was inspired by this or it’s just a reflection of our love of cocktails in this house but one recipe we like to make every year is fudgy chocolate bourbon balls. No baking required so they are boozy and have a small serving size compared to most of our other holiday desserts.

Another Alec Baldwin sketch that’s gotten traction in recent years is him being an elf from the home office. The worker elves are complaining about weak tools and wanting more pay and stuff. He’s very strict about keeping them as they are and threatens to fire them if they don’t stop complaining. But it’s a fun sketch for two reasons.

1- he reads an acronym off Always Be Cobbling but completely misreads cobbling as Cable multiple times before correcting himself… the smile he cracks after the fact is hilarious, not to mention the fact he’d torn into them about cobbling a number of times before the this

And 2- he ends his tirade with “you’re all getting bonuses, it’s still Christmas” and everyone rejoices!


I wish it was Christmas today

This is one I look forward to every year but this year it felt extra special.

We’ve been listening to Jimmy Fallon’s Christmas channel on Sirius all month and it’s been a blast. Best part is the variety- it’s rare you hear the same song (or artist) more than once in the same hour. A huge plus this time of year when some songs are done to death.
But we not only learned about coquitos from him (they are GOOD- definitely recommend- basically a Puerto Rican riff on egg nog) but he gave us the backstory of this particular sketch.

This song arose from a late night spontaneous jam session and the next day the dude who plays the guitar came up with lyrics. Jimmy called it one of the dumbest sketches he’s been a part of but a band called The Strokes did a full version that’s played on the channel a couple times.

The sketch itself- yeah it’s kinda lame. Only the guitar guy is doing any real work. Jimmy will sing some backing vocals but he spends most of his time messing with the keyboard. It’s actually providing the drumbeat but it looks like he’s either pressing random buttons or wiping fake snow off it.
But it’s better than Chris Kattan holding the keyboard and just shaking his head back and forth (how does that not make him dizzy?) or Tracy Morgan just jogging in place.
But it still has some charm to it and I enjoy it anyway. The one little part where Jimmy Fallon repeats “I wish it was Christmas today” and he and guitar guy bop back and forth— that lives rent free in my head all year and I unconsciously do it when I hear certain songs. Although not as frequently as I imagine Molly Ringwald (Ala the breakfast club) dancing to some of my favorite songs— one day I’ll compile a list cuz there’s a bunch of them.

Honorable Mentions (I had no other place to talk about)

They only played it a few times but there’s one memorable sketch with Kate McKinnon.
There’s a homely couple being interviewed along with her about their Christmas Eve. They had fun with Santa, got to go to the North Pole and have cocoa and cookies. Kate is a red neck stereotype talking about Santa’s helper Krinklemaus and her bizarre night. She gets taken to the reindeer shed and gets roped into deworming the reindeer with Shart, the deranged Gollum-like elf who works there. All the while, she lost her pants in transit so she alludes to the fact numerous times that she's rocking no pants.

She’s so unbelievably weird and unhinged at her best, so this is right in her wheelhouse.

They didn't show it this year, but I remember a YouTube video in the other room of someone playing Jennifer Coolidge and her talking about Christmas stuff. The actual video, once I finally saw it, wasn't quite as funny as just hearing the audio.
Best part is someone playing Jingle Bells.
She says "that's really good, did you write that?" 
He pauses "did I write Jingle Bells?... no..."
"Then who?"
"I don't know, some guy"

That freaking killed me :P 

One final one that doesn't get played as much anymore. Molly Shannon is in character as Mary Catherine Gallagher and Whitney Houston has a cameo as a classmate. Both are singing "Sleigh Ride," trying to one up each other and it ends with Molly Shannon falling over in spectucular style.

Of course the grand finale always involved a musical guest. For years it was Bruce Springsteen and in recent years, Paul McCartney got the final spot.
It’s on the back of a sketch where he’s in a duo with an overbearing Martin Short… not a fan of that part but the performance on the SNL stage is great.
I get the feeling those will become extra special when these legends are no longer with us and we’re left to reminisce about the one time “he was a big star but not so big he didn’t mind taking the time to play on SNL.” Both look like they had the best time up there and we all feel the same watching them.